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01-02-2015, 05:35 PM
By my verdict: GAUCHO is the winner!
GAUCHO
Realism [+3]
:: Post 2, I would have liked to have Gaucho take slightly more damage or maybe describe the damage more thoroughly.
:: I liked that he used his fire in the cold air to change his flight patterns. Good!
:: Throughout the fight, I would have liked to see more consideration to the energy and power it would take for Gaucho to change directions in the air as he flew.
Emotion [+2]
:: Good. The sexual tension throughout was palpable, and you managed to maintain a good sense of Gaucho struggling between being the warrior he is and forgetting the fight to take to other activities.
Prose [+3.5]
:: Perhaps were his burned and ignited hers sparked and fizzled with electricity, Where
Readability [+3]
:: No comments or concerns
Finally tally: 54.5+(11.5*2)= 77.5HP
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AMPERE
Realism [+3.5]
:: Post 2, excellent ruminations on the art of freefall and the effects of the wind on her flight.
:: I liked that you had her wing caught up in his in your final post. I thought it was really reasonable, considering their positioning.
:: Throughout the fight, I would have liked to see more consideration to the energy and power it would take for Ampere to change directions in the air as he flew.
Emotion [+2]
:: I loved the way her emotions changed towards the end of the fight, more frustrated than sexual, and then changing to rumination on what their relationship was. I felt the change really embodied Ampere’s personality.
Prose [+3]
:: that moment seemed too last so long and yet so short To
:: As much as she wanted to linger there, to drape herself across his coup Croup, I presume
Readability [+2]
:: Post 1, I had a hard time understanding Ampere’s movements from the moment she folded her left wing until the time she unfurled her wing again.
Finally tally: 39.5+(10.5*2)= 60.5HP
