I think i've just learned something about the feeling of panic. I thought I knew what it was...thought it was what I felt in the moments when life was seeping out of my body just after my birth. I thought that was panic, that quiet growing darkness that lingered and whispered promises of eternal sleep. But I was wrong. That was nothing compared to what I feel now. This feeling is real, tangible. It isn't dark and quiet, it's bright and demanding. I can feel it tug at my heart, restrict my breathing, and force pin-points of light across my vision.

Panic. Panic. Panic.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ROMANCE. NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TO ME YET. I'M STILL A BABY.

I want to scream this, but I don't. Mother and Father love each other...don't they? The only thing I ever see between the two of them is duty, obligation, and a few whispered words when they think no one is around. I know that I love Ivezho but ... I feel my lip tremble as the thought brushes against my heart. He's been away for so long ... if the Egg wants a story of romance and love conquering all, well...that story has already failed. The time he has been gone has forever robbed us of memories we might have made, and the absence of what we could have had lingers heavily upon my heart. Perhaps I am being selfish, for there will be time later for such stories to begin and end but ... I want them now, and I won't ever be able to have them.

PANIC. PANIC. PANIC.

It froths in my throat, rising up to my tongue and making my mouth feel dry. Only now it is accompanied by something else, a renewed sense of want. It feels urgent and demanding.

Mother and Father won't do .. .and neither will a tale of Ivezho and myself but.. but maybe .. just maybe, this will work.

"Okay. This one is about the Oohlwrick and Cahlooah, and how the Ancient Rotunda came to be." I whisper softly, closing my eyes to try and remember the details. I"m sure this is one that Mother told me ... I'm sure I have the names right ...

"A long time ago there was a novice-builder called Cahlooah. She was very beautiful, but that wasn't the most interesting thing about her. She was very clever. Now this story takes place so long ago, it occurs in a time when mares weren't allowed to hold any ranking positions within herds, and so it was nearly unheard of that Cahlooah could hold such an important position, even if she was just an apprentice. The reason for this is that her uncle, Kadj, was very well liked, strong, and noble. The rest of the herd obeyed his decision, even if they disagreed with it. It was rumored that Kadj was secretly her Father, for no one knew of Cahlooah's sire or dam...but I suppose that isn't important.

Anyways. Kadj wanted Cahlooah to have the best training, so he hired an older unicorn called Oohlwrick to come and train and teach Cahlooah. Although at first this arrangement was strictly a business venture - Oohlwrick would teach Cahlooah and in exchange he would have access to the crafting materials of the Edge - eventually something more blossomed between the two. It was ultimately Cahlooah's wit and impressive intelligence that won over the unicorn engineer more than her beauty (although that didn't hurt either). Romance blossomed between the two under the moon and fog of the edge, with Cahlooah eventually becoming Oohlwrick's equal when it came to crafting.

It wasn't long after their love grew that Cahlooah's belly grew round with a child. Given Oohlwrick' affiliation with the Basin, and given that Cahlooah was an equine and under the employment of Cahlooah's father/uncle/herd leader, the birth of the child was sure to bring scandal. In a panic, Oohlwrick proposed that the two join together in a union with him coming to live with her in the Edge. Cahlooah however hated this plan. To her the idea of placing a title on what they had simply to placate the rest of the world and Kadj seemed to detract from the love that pulsed between them. She didn't care what the others had to say, for she was strong and determined and devout in her love to Oohlwrick. However Oohlwrick was proud, and feared that his creations would be discarded or abandoned if his social standing was called into question. In this regard he begged Cahlooah to be reasonable for his sake. Agreeing unhappily, the two were joined together in secret with only Kadj and a Seer present to witness the bond, under the light of the moon.

Things continued as normal with Cahlooah growing more and more round, unhappy with the politics of the situation, but flourishing with Oohlwrick nonetheless until ....

In the night, sent by Kadj came two mercenaries. Under the cover of darkness they slipped into the meadow were Oohlwrick slept and gelded him viciously, demanding that he be gone by morning lest he wish to suffer more physical reductions. Disappearing with only a note etched in glass for Cahlooah, Oohlwrick returned to the Basin with a story of how his contract had ended with the Edge, and how worthless the hornless truly were. Kadj denied any involvement but his intent had been clear - it wouldn't do to have his niece and most promising builder wrapped up with the likes of a Basin unicorn, much less one he suspected as being involved with The Plague. Unable to do anything in her current state, Cahlooah waited until she gave birth, before abandoning her child to be raised by the Edge and disappearing into the Wilds.

Unable to surface for fear of Kadj's wrath, Cahlooah remained hidden while Oohlwrick was busy creating once again - making creatures even more beautiful than before. He created a great mechanized scorpion to signify resilience, sending it to the Edge to hopefully courier favour once again with Kadj, only to be informed that Cahlooah was no longer there. In an almost immediately response, a blue dragon dropped down from the sky holding a piece of glass. Etched upon it was a crude drawing of the lands, indicating one in particular with a heart on it.

The Rotunda, (although I should mentioned at this time it wasn't ancient, but quite new!). As Oohlwrick made his way into the Wild's where the map indicated, he grew more and more certain that he would see his beloved there and that they would run away together. However as he arrived she was nowhere to be seen. Instead he found the pillars of the structure covered in the most beautiful glass. It wasn't complete yet of course, more panes were needed, but there was only one with the skill and talent to make such a thing: Cahlooah. Suddenly he understood. If they couldn't be together, they could create together, as they always had. Getting immediately to work, Oohlwrick created hinges, braces, and brackets, expertly attaching them to the joints of the structure so that Cahlooah's beautiful work would remain sturdy and supported.

Then, before turning to leave he placed a single rose upon the floor of the Rotunda, before departing back to the Basin before any could wonder where he had gone.

For seasons the two worked like this, always under the cover of darkness and never together, but eventually the labour of their love took form and became apparent. Soon all of the herds had heard of the beautiful structure being created, and Kadj, being no dummy, knew exactly who had been creating it. Sending patrols out the Rotunda was constantly under surveillance, and yet (to this day no one knows how) Cahlooah continued to make improvements and additions, as did Oohlwrick, with Oohlwrick always leaving a rose for her upon the floor. "

I pause, sighing as the images of what I had just described swam before my eyes. "No one knows what happened after that ... No one knows who the foal of the two is, or what happened once the Rotunda was completed."

I'm fumbling now. Mother always told me that stories have morals. So what was the moral of this one? Why in my panic had I decided to tell this particular story?

"Sometimes life gets hard and it makes being with the one you love difficult. But...if you're creative and determined you can make it work. I guess also...well, Oohlwrick and Cahlooah were apart longer than they were together, but they still loved each other. I guess I like that. It doesn't take a lifetime together to form a bond that strong. Sometimes it can just ... it can just happen. I guess I think that's sort of special." I shrug, the weight of being young and uncertain and filled with want pulling heavily on my shoulders and soul.