Winter has certainly not been kind to you. The lack of adequate food has lead to you losing weight and taking on an almost skeletal appearance. Your blue-black coat is shaggy with bits of your winter coat still clinging to you despite it being Birdsong. You think that you are only malnourished, but your appearance makes you look years older than you are. Your ribs are visible, your hip bones jut out awkwardly. You don't even hold your wings against your side like you used to. Instead they're hanging low, dark feathers dragging in the sand. To be honest you look like you're on death's doorstep. In fact, if I gave you a nudge you'd probably cross over it willingly.

You wonder where it all went wrong. One minute you're beside Muriel, resting comfortably after being stuffed into a cave for what felt like an eternity, then you're on your own because you're stupid. Stupid and blind. You never should have left because you were thirsty. You should have stayed where you were until Muriel woke up, then you could have told her and she could have led your blind ass to water. But you're stubborn and you're prideful. Where did it get you? Lost. Alone. Next time you see find her, if you do, you better cling to her like a foal clings to its mother. You cannot take another winter like this one.

You're still walking, dragging your hooves through the sand, ears twitching at the constant sound of the ocean waves. The ocean water splashes against your legs and you stop, head turned in the direction of the glittering blue water that you can't see. You wonder if she even looked for you or if she was happy to be rid of you because you're nothing but a burden now. Sure, she said she loved you before but how could she really love you when you couldn't even take care of yourself? She's better off without you. Perhaps you should just walk into the ocean and let it swallow you up so you disappear forever. It sounds like a good idea doesn't it? Is that why you're turning your body that way and wading into the water?

ooc://

Gonna try out some new writing styles for him :D

"."

You hear a feminine voice and for a moment your heart skips a beat, you become hopeful that she found you. So you stop and listen for her to say something else because you cannot be sure by one Hey! that it is Muriel that's found you. The waves crash against your chest and you stagger backwards, unable to hold your pitiful body upright against the force of the ocean. So, blindly, you turn in the direction you came, your scarred face lifted toward the sun and as the ocean laps at your hocks your nostrils flare and you suck in deep breath. Disappointment is hot and heavy and it sticks in your lungs like molasses and threatens to choke you because it is not Muriel that has found you, but a complete stranger.

Hearing is a sense that you rely on heavily since you lost your eyes to them, but you chose to go the ocean of all places. You can't hear anything over the waves and its a miracle that you managed to smell her over the pungent odor of brine and ... is that dead fish? You snort and turn your head blindly to the left, your scarred eyelids falling over your milky eyes for a moment before they rise and you're left staring into nothingness. "...Hello?" Your voice is weak, defeated, and you don't even have the strength or the care to frown. You really have fallen far and proven everyone from your home right. You really are worthless.

"Where are you?" You ask because you can't hear her, you can barely smell her. For all you know she took one look at your scarred face and scrawny body, chalked you up as a lost cause, and walked away. That idea strikes you and it makes you sad. You don't know why, you can't explain it but you feel as if the weight of the entire world is on your back, grinding you into the sand. "Where's Muriel?" You choke out your question because you hope that the mare is still there and knows her, that she can take you to her. You better not get your hopes up too much.

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@[Agrona]
i don't mind if you tag me :3
"."

Precious seconds tick by as you wait for the stranger to speak, answer your questions, tell you exactly what you want to hear. The longer she stays quiet the more you begin to suspect that you're alone and the more you begin to pray that you are not. Disappointment carves itself deeply into the gaunt features of your face and you snort, your sides heaving with the effort. You want to be angry that she's not answering you but what good would your anger do? If she's still there and you act stupidly she'll probably leave and damn you to death right there on the beach.

When she speaks, says she doesn't know Muriel, you think it would have been kinder for her to plunge a dagger into your heart and twist it. I told you not to get your hopes up, but you're stubborn as always. "But ... I need to find her." You protest. "I need her." You say it with conviction, as if your conviction alone would make her suddenly remember the pink and gold mare with four wings. You blink, stare in the direction her voice came from and when she asks what happened to you you frown. You turn your head away ashamed that you managed to get yourself into the situation that you're in. Again, you think to yourself that you shouldn't have wandered away from Muriel. You think that you're nothing but a blind fool and you hate yourself because of it.

"Why?" You ask when she offers to help you. You don't think that she can, not when she doesn't know Muriel. "Who are you?" Your head swivels toward her again, your ears tilting forward as you listen for her voice, for her breathing, the sound of her steps. You stretch your thin neck in her vicinity and you sniff but the only thing you can get is the faint scent of grass over the briny smell of the ocean.

ooc://

@[Agrona]
"."

You are frustrated when she speaks again and tells you that she doesn't know what to tell you. You want to shout at her to tell you that she'll find Muriel, that she'll bring you to her. Your thin chest inflates as you suck in a breath, preparing yourself to begin your tirade, but as soon as your lungs are filled they deflate and you cough. The force of the cough makes your entire body shake and you grimace because you know that it only enhances your pitiful appearance. You wonder what the elders from your home would think if they say you now and you assume that they would be happy. You think they would nudge you over the precipice of your lonely mountain, send you plunging through the clouds, your screams falling on deaf ears. Your weak wings would not be able to sustain flight and you would be smashed into the rocks below your mountain. Obliterated into nothing and no one would miss you. No one but Muriel.

When she answers your question you remain silent because you know she's taken pity on you. Deep down somewhere inside you the old Leliel, the one that isn't broken rears his head and you're even more disgusted with yourself. When did you sink so low that others took pity on you? When did you sink low enough to accept that pity without thinking twice? She says her name and you withdraw your muzzle, your ears falling back as you try to remember if you've heard the name before. It is not familiar but you've never had the best memory of names or faces, not that you can see them anymore.

"I'll try to help you find this Muriel."

Your ears snap forward and your face is turned in her direction, blind eyes open wide as you stare. You can hardly believe your ears and you can't believe that you feel so much relief that she's agreed to try to help you. "You will?" You ask but then you think maybe you shouldn't have because she might reconsider. "Thank you..." The words are foreign on your lips and taste bitter on your tongue because no one has ever done anything for you like this. If she really does help you find Muriel you don't think thank you will be enough.

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@[Agrona]
"."