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"I dare you."

"You dare me to what?"

Talus crossed his arms in front of his chest and grinned impishly. It was the crooked grin of a boy on the face of a man.

"I dare you," he reached out and pinched my nose between his fingers. "To close your eyes." Smirking at the scowl on my face he moved his hand to a piece of hair that had rebelled from the grasp of my ponytail and twirled it around his finger before dropping it again. But before he did Talus had stared at the lock of hair as if memorizing it. That had not escaped my notice.

Each look that we shared was the same. I had imprinted his face upon my memory. Every detail to be carefully remembered. For in case.. just for in case.

We were in a time of war. Battle doesn't spare lovers. War doesn't spare anyone. Mercenaries aren't expected to be spared anyways. We are no more than pawns in giants' play.

Sighing like it was a huge inconvenience I shut my eyes. This was a game we used to play whenever I was first brought into Elovian.

"See the colors?" He whispered in my ear. "You miss them. I know that you do. But they are there; I bet that they are just in disguise." His quiet laugh brushed against my ear. I could feel the light scruff that had grown on his face brushing against my own. His touch was as soft as his whisper but also rough all at once. "Tell me Keida, what color do you see now?"

"Yellow." Talus had always been yellow to me. As vital as the sun. His light was what brought the disguised colors to my mind's eye. Elovian is grey. Sometimes black; or sometimes we catch the glimpse of something nearly white. Colors don't reside here, but whenever I was with him it felt like they were only laying beneath the drab colors. Talus made me feel like there was a world of color to be seen if I were to scratch away the dark layer with my fingernail.

"Shhh," that brought about the void. The change in his tone chased away the vibrant yellow. There had been a tremble in his smooth voice. Talus was fearless, brazen in everything that he did. For him to show such a reaction could only mean that we had been found.

His hand went to his sword and my blood turned to ice. If he went for his sword that would mean that he did not have the time to properly cast a spell. I winced as I put my hand to my own sword. The weapon could save our lives, but with a sword you are close enough to watch the warmth fade from your foe's eye.

Friend or foe it is harrowing to witness the fiery passion leave an empty husk behind. The Curaks and the Yiri. And us. No longer was there a "you" or and "I". One was either fighting for their king and land. Or they fought for someone. I wondered if I would have time to grab my bow and arrows.

We all did have one thing in common. We were all fighting for survival. Even the most ruthless of the warriors was simply fighting for the hope of the future; it is what gave them their fire. Dog eat dog.

After several tense moments he slumped against a nearby stump covering his face in his hands. Whatever he had heard had passed.

"Keidajen. Oh my Keida." The catch in his voice left a lump in my throat.

I shakily walked over to him and sat down at his side. Unable to get comfortable leaning against the rough bark I instead laid my head in his lap.

"Eventually this will end."

"Talus." I frowned at him before waving the long weed I had plucked from the nearby ground at him. "I am going to assume you meant with a ride into the sunset."

He looked down at me with the skin at his eyes creasing before the smile that I knew so well truly lit his face.

"Do you remember when I told you about the mark of a strong mage?"

"Of course," Why was he bringing this up? "Being able to visit into other realms. Although, one is only able to exist in that world's shadows. Although of course they return to their natural form once back in their home realm."

"Yeah." His hands absentmindedly began to stroke my hair. I was lost in the feeling. After some time he left his hand to rest over my eyes.

A confused laugh bubbled from my lips, "Talus what are you-"

"I love you."

My lashes brushed against his hand rapidly in shock. That was the first time that he had ever said it.

"I love yo-" I did not finish. My body felt like it had been hit with a battering ram.


Color. Color was everywhere. It hurt. Everything was too bright, too vibrant. I remembered this land. It was where I had began my life. And this was my true form. A unicorn. What would Talus think? What had Talus done? He had sent me out of Elovian. To my home realm. Did that mean he was in the shadows..

Dazed and confused I stumbled about squinting trying to spot him in the too colorful space around me. One of my eyes was a blessing and only saw in black and white giving some relief from the colorful chaos around me.

"Talus! Unde es tu?"* I shouted for him. I shouted until I could no longer speak past the heavy weight that pulled on my body. I shouted until I knew what I did not want to admit. Talus was not here. He was still in Elovian.

My body trembled with loss. I had lost my yellow sun only to be in this land with its garish sun.

Helovia. "Helovia."That was the name of this land; the land of my birth. The name was bitter in my thoughts and rang out with an unnerving hollowness when spoken. The name repeated itself over and over in my thoughts. It was unrelenting.

It was the feeling of utter defeat. We had lost. I had no idea who would win the war the Curak or the Yiri. I had been fighting for someone. And we had lost. All of the weight of my loss moved to my heart; splitting it open with its immensity.

The weight was too much for my body to bear. My legs began to crumple beneath me. But I placed one foot in front of the other.

Foot u- No.

Hoof up.

Hoof down.

Hoof up.

Hoof down.

Step by step I made it to a tree and left it to be burdened with the feat of holding me up.

"Te amo etiam, Talus."* And I did. Oh how I did.

*"Talus! Unde es tu?" | "Talus! Where are you?"
*"Te amo etiam, Talus." | "I love you too, Talus."

Keidajen's humanesque form I will get to coloring it and adding it to her profile soon. Along with all of her history.

The Silver Doe

You are my refuge and I need you to see;
The only one I let down more than you is me.

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You do not know true loss until you have lost something you love me more than yourself. I suppose that some have the good fortune of going through their lives never knowing how true loss wears away at your very soul. They live life being oblivious. Blissfully unaware. Wrapped comfortably in their ignorance. Others are less fortunate. Despite this life goes on; time waits for no on. Time has no care for our mortal lives, our tragedies are mere hiccups in his time line. Lungs continue to fill even as my heart feels to have ceased to beat.

"I. Am." My gaze traveled up the length of the tree I leaned against. It seemed to reach into the clouds. So high its branches went it was a wonder that the sun did not burn it to a crisp. I suppose trees don't learn the tale of Icarus.

But trees are thought to be wise. What is it that they spend all of their many years reaching for? Surely there is something above us, that makes them decide to stay rooted to one spot always reaching. Could this tree speak what wisdom would it offer? Would my ears even be able to decipher its words? Perhaps the trees do whisper their words to passerby. Their words could be what rides the leaves down on the summer's breeze, or could be part of the satisfaction that is gained from stepping on a particularly crunchy leaf.

I am delirious to have become so lost in my thoughts while in the presence of a stranger. Arah still awaits my response. It is a struggle to offer her one. At some point I had become a foreigner to my own homeland. The tongue that I had been born into now sounds like gibberish and is only a faint memory. "I. Am. Okay." I am a liar. My words are hard on the ears; no longer is my own speech familiar. The few words that I speak take effort but are still choppy and hesitant. "Keidajen. Name." In saying my name my voice momentarily regains its natural lull, a cadence returns and I sound like myself.

Arah's question still hung in the air and I was too tired to try to process her words. Did she think me to be dumb? Maybe I could pretend to be deaf in this land? There would be no need to interact with words then. I simply nod in response and hope to the heavens that it is a suitable reply. If I am to learn anything of this place I was once born to; if I am to find my way back out of it and into Elivian again I must somehow befriend its inhabitants. My existence in Helovia is only to be a temporary one.

I no longer speak nor walk in grace. Instead I stumble and trip in grace's shadow. For the mare who has treated me with such kindness seems to be the living carnation of grace itself. Arah's footsteps gently kiss the ground and glide over roots and other obstacles in our path. I move with the unsteady movements of a babe just discovering her body.

A sigh of relief falls from my lips as I catch a glimpse of water before us. Dipping my head to Arah I do my best to trot to the water's edge without imprinting my face into the mud.

I had not realized how parched I was, the cool water can be felt traveling down the length of my throat. For a moment nothing exists beyond filling myself with the cool water. Gulp after gulp I swallow before lifting away from its surface. Water drips from my maw back into the stream, I watch as they fall. One after another. But still they fall together. All embrace the surface with the same enthusiasm; and it is there that they reunite. Will I be able to recieve the joy of reuniting with my friends again? It is a loaded question that weighs my down as if a beast has sprawled itself across my back.

Once the droplets have all taken their leave and the ripples have stilled my own reflection causes me to take an involuntary step back. What I saw could not have been my own face. I looked to be broken from the inside out. My eyes told my tale more than words ever could have. Sadness radiates out from their depths and it chokes the air around me. I am a walking tragedy. I, Keidajen looked like I had been to hell and back; and I certainly did not look to have fared well during the journey.

Suddenly a spark began reignite my soul. This was not who I am. And it is not who I will allow myself to be.

"Sed quid ego a nobis Ego in hoc natus sum, sed hinc non iam huius! Quod per sortem accepit me; et convertit me fortuna. Non est bonum! Non est iustum." I was pretty sure that Arah would not understand my words. They had erupted from my lips before I could stop them. And why should I have stopped them? I was not a meek soul who would settle. I would be where I belonged. There was nothing that could hold me back.

"Sorry. Arah. This.." once again I was lost for words, "I heart sick. Sad. It not me." I sounded clumsy. "I am strong." I took a deep breath in before continuing. My focus was intense as I tried to get the words out. Standing tall I try to show her who I was prior to the fracturing of my heart. I try to show her who the real Keidajen is.



"Sed quid ego a nobis Ego in hoc natus sum, sed hinc non iam huius ! Quod per sortem accepit me ; et convertit me fortuna . Non est bonum ! Non est iustum ."| What do I do from here? I was born here but I am no longer one of this land! Fate took me; and misfortune has brought me back. It is not fair! It isn't just.

@[Arah] I am so sorry for the wait. Without internet I had to fight my phone to try to post. But I am in the library daily now so posts will be quicker.

The Silver Doe

You are my refuge and I need you to see;
The only one I let down more than you is me.