The queen had been there to see the horrors that had happened the day that Hototo had given his life for the good of Helovia. Still, she did not know how she felt. She had tried and tried to figure it out, to understand, but there were so many facets to the problem that she didn’t even know where to begin. The Moon Goddess had given her power, had guided her through evil, had given her hope when she felt at her lowest; still, she had been a cause of great evil in the land. She had caused the death of many an innocent, made the Helovian denizens fear for their lives for months on end, and had caused the death of Hototo, a demi-god. Even poor Gaucho had been victimized, in a way, though Kahlua still struggled with the desire to blame him instead of pity him.

All she really wanted to do was go home now. But… where was home? The Edge was inhabited by the Moon Goddess herself, it seemed. Kahlua was not ready to face her. She needed to figure out what she wanted to say before she found herself bent to the will of the conniving woman. Instead, she meandered the Thistle Meadow. Or… she tried to, until a whisper caught her attention. She knew that voice. She knew that name.

Was she in trouble? True, she had been slacking on her quest… She hadn’t meant to… Still, how could she deny a god?

Stepping through the pool of water, nervous though she was, the queen found herself back at the Veins. She had run away from this very place not so long ago, trying to work on her quest for Father Earth himself. “I’m sorry,” she whispered to him, eyes downcast. The sorrow in her voice was for so many things. Sorrow at the loss of his son, at her failures to live up to his expectations, at the death of his mortal children by the hooves of an innocent. Slowly, one limb extended and one knee bent as she kneeled before him. The Moon Goddess had told her not to bow, that queens did not lower themselves, but perhaps it was time to do what she wanted, instead of what the Lady Moon wanted.

Did she even know what was right, anymore?

Slowly, the Sunshower raised her body from her bow, the gentle rumble of Father Earth’s voice filling her ears as he responded to her. There was no anger, only sorrow… what, then, had she been called here for? Her answer came soon enough. New life… and she was to be the vessel by which the child came into this earth. Instinctively, her body stiffened, ears closing as she saw the chains of responsibility and the cages of motherhood closing in around her. Her freedom gone, her days of gallivanting nothing but a distant memory. But there was more…

Father Earth was a god from the heavens above. She worshipped him, thanked him daily for the gifts that she had, could she deny him? Surely she really had no choice in this matter, despite the illusion of such. And there was another consideration to be had as well… what of Kaj? For surely her mind went straight to him. She loved that man with every bit of her heart. She didn’t try to deny it anymore, but she had pushed him away because she dare not bear his children. What now? How would she look, coming to him with body wide with foal? Would he question her love for him, or would he push her away in turn? The thought made her eyes moisten beneath still-closed lids.

In the end, there was no choice for her to make but to accept, for she knew in her heart of hearts that she could not deny Father Earth what he had asked. Even Ophelia’s recommendation that she stand up for herself would not work in the face of this moment. She could not say no to a god, despite the figurative death she knew she was about to endure. She let stone chains rise from the ground and clasp around her hooves. She let a moat be built around her, separating her from the rest of the world, and she opened her eyes. Somehow, the day seemed several shades grayer.

“As you wish, my lord,” she whispered, blue eyes daring not raise to meet his. She was scared. Slowly, the memory of a stallion in her past came to her, his weight upon her, the motion of his and her bodies together… No. This was not that stallion. This was not that time. But perhaps… perhaps there was something to be learned from that time- something she could apply to now. “I wonder though,” she began quietly, words almost choking in her throat. She had forgotten this life, but it returned to her. “If you might be able to help the Edge, in the face of the trials we will surely face,” she decided upon at last.

In some ways, perhaps Ophelia’s advice did come into play. This was not the preferred method of standing up for herself, but it was something. “With the Lady Moon living in the Edge, I fear that the rest of Helovia will come to our borders for vengeance. A warning- perhaps some way to tell friend from foe… do you think…?” she trailed off, her already quiet words dissipating to nothing, her eyes daring to raise just an inch to look at his chest instead of his hooves. Perhaps he would say no, but she had to try…

Regardless, her tail slowly shifted to the side and her hooves widened beneath her, indicating that she would do his bidding regardless of his answer. She was ready for her death- he need only to kill her.


OOC| Obviously feel free to say no ^.^ Kah just had to try for a herd quest. Magic would be the following:
"Tree ignites in harmless flames that burn red if enemies approach the boarder or blue if friends approach the border"

He was gentle, even through all of the trials and tribulations that he had faced; surely, those trials had been worse than the one that she was faced with. In some ways, this helped to ease her troubled mind. He was kind when he could be forceful, he was gentle when he could be rough- he was water, when he could be earth. Would it make this experience any easier for her, when this moment was over? Maybe not, but then… maybe she would be able to look back at this time and draw strength from the memory. Would she find love? Not the kind that she felt for Kaj- not the kind that warmed her heart and made her soul tingle in excitement- but she would find a different sort of love. The love of a god for his devotee, and the love that she returned to him. Would it be enough? That remained to be seen.

As he denied her any help at this trying time, she tried to make herself understand. The Edge was the domain of his sister, it was true. Indeed, the Lady Moon had given the Sunshower her powers and raised her out of the depths of despair many times before, but the painted woman couldn’t help but have thoughts against her right now. Would the Edge be better under the rule of a different god? Or… would her herd be better living somewhere… Her eyes traced across Father Earth’s massive frame. He was gentle, he loved the land deeply and thoroughly, if only… But no. There was no way. Not without breaking hearts, breaking bodies, breaking the very vow she had made to bring peace to Helovia. She had made her bed, now she had to sleep in it, with the Lady Moon hiding in the closet or not.

“I understand,” she said at last, thankful that he had not taken her audacity as a reason to smite her where she stood. “I would hope so as well, there is just so much… death to be angry about.” Kahlua had not been touched personally by any of the losses, she had not known any of them, but her herd was affected. Ktulu, Archibald, Lakota, Apollo, and there were more, she was certain. Would bringing new life into the world make up for their hurt? She did not think so, but perhaps it would start to heal the wounds. If she was giving up her life for this, she only hoped it would do some good.