Where is Gull?

The thought pulls on her heartstrings, makes her ache with wonder and an entire host of feelings that she has yet to figure out. She had stayed with him for endless rises of the sun, reveling in his odd persona and the shy hesitancy that had drawn her in so far, so deep, when they'd first met. They had grown ever closer, trading little threads that made them whole and distinguished and interweaving them until she could no longer tell where he began and she ended. It was a pleasant feeling, and her loneliness had ebbed away beneath the weight of his stare, the boyish curl of his smile. Part of her still longed for Leliel, for the familiarity of him. After all, he had been the only real constant in her life. There was nothing that Muriel did not know about the sapphire stallion, and that alone was a comfort. But she had begun to truly believe that he was not coming back. That she was left in solitude, the memory of her feelings, of him, the only cold comfort given.

Gull had begun to heal the raw edges of her heart with his sweetness, and even his gruffness. He made her laugh, made her cry, made her forget about all the times Leliel had let her down and left her broken. Whether he had this last time was still to be seen, though Muriel had finally come to the conclusion that he was lost to her. Wholly, eternally. When she had finally let herself believe that, she had broken down, sobbing until her body ached and her eyes were sore. It was the hardest thing she had ever done, accepting that Leliel was either gone and rid of her or dead. Gull had held her up all throughout, never really asking questions, and yet she had freely shared regardless. As was her nature.

Then Helovia turned itself on its head, the murders that Muriel only faintly knew about coming to a dramatic head. In the chaos on the island, Muriel had been taken by the clouds and placed back in the Veins, hours flight from wherever Gull had been removed. She had been unable to find him despite days of searching, and her heart broke a little more with each evening that she could not find him. Muriel had been abandoned so many times, she didn't want it to happen again.

Especially when she began to notice some rather...peculiar changes.

Muriel was far from an idiot. Naive, perhaps, but not genuinely unintelligent. She also wasn't a young filly anymore, but rather in her prime. It was clear to her that she was pregnant. It had taken her by surprise, probably because after nothing coming to fruition with Argen, she had not anticipated a different result with Gull. At first she was hysterical, absolutely consumed with fear. How could she raise a foal alone? It was preposterous! Then she thought of Gull. What if he hated her, because she was with child? Did he desire progeny? Or would he run the moment he was faced with the responsibility? And last but not least, Leliel. What if he really did come back? Not that she expected it, after coming to terms with his death. But was his spirit disappointed? Did he think she'd moved on too fast, that her feelings were not genuine?

With a pathetic sniffle, she dropped down onto a bed of clover, all four wings spread wide and large belly positioned just so. "Oh Leliel, what am I supposed to do?" she called out, perhaps a tad too loud, but she was certain that nobody else was around. If only he could guide her, give her advice. Snorting to herself, she shook her head. No, he likely would be horrified by her actions, feel betrayed by her moving on even when it had always been Muriel who vied for his attention over the years. Laying her cheek against the soft clover, she stared listlessly across the earth. Where was Gull?

@[Leliel]

Be careful what you wish for.

Muriel had always been headstrong, in perhaps the most naive of ways. Why should she ever be careful for what she wished for, anyways? Clearly if she wished for it she would want it, no strings attached. Idioms had no place in Muriel's life, as a stubborn filly. Even as she grew, older and no wiser than before, she'd never really figured out that particular saying. What it meant, why it was that so many had warned her against it, against wishful thinking and errant prayers.

It wasn't until that early summer evening that she realized exactly why.

Whatever hope she'd worded, there was a part of her that truly did not want Leliel to return. She'd finally found something akin to happiness, fleeting though it was, and shallow as she suspected it to be. Gull made her happy, had given her a gift that, though she was terrified by it, was also a way to start anew. Wipe the slate clean. Be a better person than what she'd once been. Have someone who would love her unconditionally, and she them. A child.

But as her name ricocheted like a bullet through the woods, she felt the kill shot strike deep into her chest. A sort of liquid horror injected itself into her veins, warring with the delirious little mare that had loved Leliel eternally, shamelessly. Be careful what you wish for, Muriel. What had she done? How could she face him, pregnant with another stallion's foal, another stallion whom she undoubtedly held a deep affection for, even if perhaps not love? How could she tell him of her betrayal?

But...she had thought him dead. Or at least to have abandoned her. Were they both to blame? Or was she the one with dirtied hands, again?

"Leliel?" it was a disbelieving call as it left her lips, and she struggled to her hooves over the round bulge of her belly. She moved awkwardly towards the sound, growing steadily faster until she was racing towards the sound of his voice. It couldn't be. Could it? "Leliel!" And then there he was, emaciated but alive. And he slowed in tandem with her, until they were staring at one another. Or at least, she was. Taking in his face like a drowning man did land. And he was apologizing. But all that could come out of her mouth was "You're alive?" A broken whisper.

And she stepped forward, moving to touch his muzzle with her own. And then the tears fell, and she started to cry in earnest as she staggered towards him and threw her neck around his withers. "I thought you were dead," she sobbed into his skin, trembling with the force of her own emotions.

Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.