"No, that- that's not what I meant!" Panic. Panic. Panic. Breathe. Wait. Shit. "I do think we're going to last! I'm just- in the bigger picture— one of us will die first." I murmur, struggling to swallow. Fuck my wording choices were awful. "That's- that's not what I meant to say. I just mean, that- I'm a pessimist. I don't see the brighter side of things. Please, forgive me Aur, I-I'm so sorry." My eyes widen, my thoughts coming to a screaming halt as I try to handle all of this at once. "Please Aur, I'm just- I'm so certain we'll last just please, listen to me. I-" I don't continue because she begins telling me of her children, children named Ryuu and Faeanne. I listen to her talk, my eyes remaining on her, my love for her unwavering as her story unfolds before me. I wanted to help her through this, to tell her it will all be okay, that we'll make things right. A weak smile crawls across my face as I step forward, struggling to speak. "Aur..." My voice cuts out, suddenly stolen by an unfelt wind, carried away along with everything I'd ever loved. I didn't mean for this to happen, I didn't want it to happen.

My heart drops to the floor, my already poorly stitched and taped together heart, my weak, beating little heart— it shatters. It slams against the ground and is left spinning in all directions, shards beneath my feet as I'm left standing watching Aurelia turn away, my lip trembling and throat knotting. I wanted to call for her, to beg her not to go, that I'm such a fuck up and that isn't what I meant. The tears start flowing, staining my cheeks as I take a small step forward towards Aurelia. Please why can't I move? I can feel the thoughts piling up onto my shoulders, crushing me beneath the weight of my panic and anguish.

I turn to Rhoa, my face lacking any emotion aside from the streams of tears dribbling down my cheeks. "No, of course not. I'm not going to let her or our future child slip from my grasp. That'd make me stupid and pathetic. I'm not- I'm not stupid. I'm— I'm not pathetic am I?" I look towards Rhoa with a sick grin, gnarled and sad as I ask him, my grip on sanity slipping as I feel my feet grow heavier, my stomach sinking. "Someone can stop it- and- I have to stop it—" I mumble, body shaking as I look at my red hooves with bitter despair. "I have to try- but I'm weak. I'm pathetic. I'm stupid— oh so stupid." A terrible, sickening chuckle slides from between my lips as the realization that I may have just lost Aurelia settles in.

Fuck fuck FUCK.

And suddenly, panic. I am watching everything collapse before me, my lungs shrinking, forcing me to painfully inhale and hold my breath. Sweat beads on my neck, my body is shaking uncontrollably. I don't know what to do. What do I do. Aurelia, oh fuck Aurelia where are you going? I try to call after her but my voice fails me, my eyes wide and body stiff, knees buckling as I collapse into the red sand. The air in my lungs is being torn out forcefully, my throat burning as tears run down my face. I shut down, my wings flopping uselessly against my sides as panic courses through my veins. I can feel my body heaving, my world crumbling. Everything I held dear, destroyed. I gasp and choke, screaming on the exhale. I remain that way for several minutes, forgetting that Rhoa was even there. I can't move, I'm too weak, instead I just let myself get carried away into the folds of insanity, tucked away and trapped within the confines of my mind. I can't handle this. I can't. I struggle to breathe, trying to calm myself as I lay on the sand.

"I'm sorry, you don't deserve this— but I do, I'm such an asshole." I mumble, exhaling as I close my eyes and remain that way, forgetting about everything for a time as it all comes tumbling down to crush me beneath the weight of my worries.

I don't get up for a while, and when I do my mind is focused only on Aurelia, my wings spreading open as I race forward to get air, rising and heading in the direction she had gone.
"Talking"