She talks a lot. The red speckled woman is all words, but she doesn't listen very much. I guess she did take the option of running away now rather than later. At first, she tries to talk things through, but I tell her my ugly backstory, and then she no more asks to talk things through. I love (loved) her without knowing how, or when, or from where. I was getting better, I was trying, but know I've remembered the things that tear me apart, what breaks me down, and those things have taken hold once again and I'm back at the start. Now, I'm left wondering if any of this was worth it. Sometimes when things are falling apart they are falling into place. Maybe this was doomed to happen from the beginning.

After I finish, I stare into the vast steppe of red clay-like sand, finally understanding that this was not the place for me, and that I didn't belong. In fact, I never beloved anywhere. How horribly it went when I did join any herd. I'm a solitary, desolate creature. I've harmed many physically and mentally, and I don't know how I can ever repay them, so I've just settled for not working on rebuilding the bond that I once shared with them. And in the climax of all of this, I'm sure the boy is overwhelmed, possibly frightened. I'd never witnessed two lovers break up, but I'm sure it looked something like two magnets being forced together, south on south. South and south repel each other, as do north and north. Destroy and I, we are north and south, but someone (presumably the god that has given us this quest) had forced us to both hold up our south ends, and it is why we repel each other so strongly.

I stood, frozen. My gaze was still fixated on the nothingness of the endless miles of red sand. She apologized, but not for saying she didn't believe we'd last, but for putting me through this- her love and company. I wonder if I am truly the one with warped views of the world. I was not telling her that... Actually, I'm not really sure what I was saying. I thought I was warning her that I was the burden, and that I would grow attached to her in the future and if she left that I wouldn't live any longer, but she skinned my words, misinterpreted them. Did she think I didn't love her enough to want her to say? In a wayward act, she did the most Aurelia thing possible. She left. that had always been my role, my thing. We had switched roles, just as I had feared. Now I was meant to be the brave one, but everyone knew me not to be brave, but cowardly.

She begins galloping away, ebony wings unfolding at her sides and carrying her away swiftly. I turned the direction she left, eyes wide with astonishment. From my lips drew forth a forlorn neigh that echoed across the desolate land. I held this neigh out for as long as I could, the usually vibrant and fiery chords were suddenly lifeless and tired. It was the sound a mare might make when her foal is taken from her. When the pitiful neigh finally ended, my eyelids were sent a flutter, and a variety of emotions flooded within me. I watched her fly away, watched like a hawk. I watched with all the focus of a lover making sure her mate flew with safety. I wanted to know where she went, if she landed safely, if was safe. I wanted to know so bad, but she was just a dark spec in the sky now, and eventually her dark figure vanished, and I wasn't too sure if I would ever see her again.

Suddenly, in a quick swivel of a gold-marked cranium, my full and undivided attention was on the colt. Though my mind raced with what just happened, she left for a reason. I had told myself I wouldn't follow if she left, I would let her leave and not chain her to me, and she left. It's as simple as that, and though it seemed there were layers upon layers of complexity, there were none at all. This was it. This was the end of Destry and Aurelia, and if by chance it wasn't, I knew there would always be a scar of this argument, a remembrance of this, marring our relationship for eternity.

My voice was suddenly soft and kind, something that was a rarity for me, but just because Destry gave up, didn't mean I would. I wouldn't give up on this foal, nor anything else. "I think I missed your name, lad," and after a short pause, I began again. "Many things have happened, I do not recall if I've given you my name. I am Aurelia." All my attention was for him as I tried to push Destry out of my mind, repeating to myself I gave her the option to leave, and she took it. I can't follow her. She left me, which appears what she wanted to do. "I assume you are around two. Imagine having to look after not one, but two children all while no one really likes you because you have fire magic and a tendency to get in fights. You are alone, helpless, in a herd you feel no connection to." That herd was the World's Edge, and I believed myself to be the outcast. No one really likes me, no one really cares for me. It didn't matter that I was highly ranked or not, I was as replaceable as a worn out toothbrush. "I was scared and alone, and young. I made plenty of wrong decisions, I realize that, yet I'm trying hard to be better, I am. And I truly do hope you don't hold a grudge on me for it. I meant no wrongdoing, I meant not go get pregnant. I tried my best, I did. In the end, I was not enough for them. They both had health defects, and I couldn't fix them. In the end, I figured I was hurting them more than helping them, that no matter what I did it wasn't enough. I couldn't ask for help, I knew no one. When I looked for the stallion in the Hidden Falls, his herd battled me, as if I was a viscous disease." I vividly remember some sort of companion attacking me, lots of lightning cracking my ways, rain, blood, and unconsciousness, all for attempting to find the father of my children, my children that desperately needed something more than a single mother. "I was imprisoned by them, kept away from my already feeble children. I tried to escape, but a dark mare with red and white tipped wings stopped me, kept me away from my children. When I was finally allowed to leave, I had no clue where my son was, and I gave Faeanne to kind horses. I thought that they would be better without me... Because I am undoubtedly the worst mare in the world, and I shouldn't have had two kids, and maybe I shouldn't be having more. I'm not sure. I've tried and tried to make Destry happy, but this is rushed, I feel it, but there is nothing I want more." Yet my dream of finally having a happy family with a big yard and a white picket fence had vanished. No families white picket fence stay white, no large lawn stays green, no family can be happy all the time. My 'perfect' dream vanished, forever shattered.

ooc: I'm up to continue it a bit if you are. :3