They call me bitter, they call me cruel, they call me so many things.. but what they don't understand is why I am this way. Life has never been something I understood well, for my whole childhood was filled with the knowledge I would be queen someday. Though inside I questioned my worth to this crown I grew into in time. Obviously I couldn't be handled, for the actions that were taken against my Gothinrail and I prove so.
But oh how I miss him. Miss his sweet murmurs in my ear, his velvet lips across my skin, his smell, his smile... his everything. He was the only one who stood by me, gave me everything I ever wanted. Spoiled me beyond belief. The only one I grew to love, or have any connection with at all.
I know he's gone, or he would have come after me by now. The massive man would have found me, swept me off my hooves, and created a new kingdom with me. Or better yet, a life to ourselves. In each others embrace.
I long for him.
The beat of my heart does not dance correctly without him.
It is their fault. The ungrateful, backstabbing, 'loyal' residents under my reign. Their fault that I was no longer at his side to coax him back to health, no longer there to fix his failing body, no longer there to heal his sickly being. Their fault that he was gone.
And it hurts that I couldn't fight back, that the wounds I was given amounted to more than the wounds I gave. It is pain to think I left him behind without a goodbye.
Although I waited for him at the borders for many days, he never came and I could no longer stay there safely. I had to go. I had no choice. Perhaps I could have chose to walk back to him, to his bed inside our land, but that would have resulted in my death as well.
So for two years I've wandered lands, searching place to place to find my perfect new home.
Here I cross the borders into a land I've traveled upon before. Waltzing in once again, on rage and sorrow deep within my chest.
OOC;; any and all welcome
TAG;; ---
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image credits
- table by Niki -
| Outcast |
| Mare :: Equine :: 14.3hh :: four years |
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Rathunax :: Common Red Dragon :: Shock Breath
cailyn |
02-16-2015, 10:51 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-16-2015, 10:52 PM by Nayati.)
despite everything I gave,
you walked away...</style>
It had been so long since she had lived in the Foothills.
Once upon a time, she had bee nothing but a skeleton wrapped in spotted hide, bleeding out in the Threshold. And from the heavens had come an angel, a storm dancer with wicked words and infamy. And yet, Nayati had never seen her as such. No, she had never been blind to Svetlana's prowess, her beauty and brains. But when she was half dead and stumbling through chest deep snow, it had been Svetlana who had scooped her up and practically carried her the endless miles to the Foothills. Nayati had never known love or care, affection or kindness. Svetlana had shown her more in a single day than the spotted girl had ever experienced in her entire life. That day, the two had been irrevocably tied, and Nayati had begun to love Svetlana with the tentativity of a hand-shy babe.
There had been others, of course. Svetlana was a leader, a Queen, and all her time and attention could not be spared for Nayati's sake. Romani had been the first to step up to Svetlana's mantle, caring for her when Svetlana was away. It had been one rainy, muddy afternoon that Abdullah had waltzed into Nayati's life. She had been beautiful and charming, with words like honey and silk, and like Svetlana and Romani, Abby had become someone very precious to Nayati.
But time tore away all those close to her, in the end.
The Foothills had been taken over. Archibald had killed Svetlana in battle. Romani had received a quest to forget those she loved, and had left Nayati standing there with a heart too broken to function any longer. And somewhere in the midst of all of that, so too had Abdullah faded into nothing but a memory.
Lingering after the trials of the Earth God, Nayati had taken the long way home through the Threshold, telling herself there was no reason why she could not do her home a favor by looking for new members. Nayati had never understood the appeal of numbers, of ranks. She offered only a home, a family, someplace warm and safe and mostly open minded. It was all she could ever truly offer, the only way her brain really worked.
So when she turned the corner, and came face to face with a ghost from her past, she gave a short shriek.
Staggering backwards she stared wide-eyed at the mare, knees inverted just to keep herself standing. And the first word that she managed to spit out of her mouth was a name she hadn't said in a very long time.
"Abdullah?"
Nayati and Abby used to be really close, but I'm not sure if you adopted her? It says she's never been in Helovia before, but the names and appearances and manips are the same and GUH I'M LOST! Sorry to steal another of your threads lololol. If I'm wrong just have Nayati get the wrong person right name?
@[Abdullah]
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the rose shadows said that they loved the sun, but they also loved the dark,
where their roots grew through the lightless mystery of the earth. the roses said: you do not have to choose.
For a while I was alone. Slithering through the trees in my grief and anger. Searching for something familiar other than the smell. There were new trails, old trails, beaten trails... but none of them were the same as when I first stepped foot here. My mind wandered back to the days I left home. Carelessly stumbling upon Helovia and it's inhabitants. Though I made friendships, some forever buried deep within my beating heart, I moved on home. Taking my crown, only to get it torn from me.
So on and on I moved at a leisurely pace through the canopy until some god awful shriek that pierced my ears had me slamming on the breaks. My audits flattened against a muscular neck. Cold and irritated, I turned. Staring at a familiar coat that haunted my memory. Searching within myself, I came upon a name that seemed fit for the figure before me. Though this name carried a painful sting to my chest, just as the way she questioned my name did.
Annoyed blue eyes carefully turned over Nayati. Something about the girl had this grey face turning stone cold. I cared at one point in my life but do I now? Is there some way that I can feel something for her, other than the pain of not being able to move on from my past.
She was buried so deep within the organ that pumped blood through my veins, I had hopes of never seeing her face again. Hiding her behind closed doors so that I would never have to face my faults or hear of the pain I surely brought her.
"Yes?" is all that rolled from my tongue. Rather plain and emotionless. My eyes plunged into hers, a hard stare that could have been as if I was trying to intimidate her... but really it was the fault of having less emotions to show signs of caring.
OOC;; Fixed because I'm a derp lol. Also tweaked her history. Like said in PM couldn't remember if I had her here or not but must have xD lol. Anyways, I believe at the time I played her I went by tay/taylor/nicole/taylor nicole/tay-studios or some crap (I've had too many names on dA/RPs lol.
TAG;; @[Nayati]
|
image credits
- table by Niki -
| Outcast |
| Mare :: Equine :: 14.3hh :: four years |
|
Rathunax :: Common Red Dragon :: Shock Breath
cailyn |
despite everything I gave,
you walked away...</style>
There is something cold and unforgiving in the new granite set of her old friend's face, something that shoves her compass heart from hopeless relief to wary consideration. Rathunax hummed unhappily from the skies, molten eyes staring down at the mare. He had never known the mare she used to be, saw her plainly as Nayati did not, as someone who could not necessarily be trusted. Nayati sensed this from him, in a thousand wordless ways, and her heart felt as if it was melting through her ribcage with the pain of a loss she never could have prevented. For though she'd lost Abdullah, had mourned her, she still stood before Nayati. Alive, but untouchable. Broken in some valuable, intimate way that Nayati doubted she could ever fix. It hurt the beautiful maiden so much, and she wondered if she fled whether anyone else would happen across the mare.
Regardless of how she felt, it was still her duty to lead the strays from the threshold into the relative safety of Helovia.
Even when they ripped her heart apart with singular words, it seemed. Nayati's tiny shoulders tensed, head dropping to stare at the earth somewhere between the two of them. She simply couldn't take that harsh, penetrating stare. It was so impossibly different from how she used to be, how she used to gaze upon Nayati way back then. Still, she flicked her rose eyes up to the dappled lady when she spoke, tentative as her trembling hands offered out her heart to the maiden before her. The pair knew it would only end in pain and suffering, but Nayati had to at least try.
"Do...do you remember me?" It was almost as bad as she used to be, her speech. Back when her stutter was so pronounced that she could hardly be understood. And yet Abdullah had still been kind to her, patient and loving...the possibility that she'd never see that side of her again, that she'd have to suffer through knowing she was alive but still so far away metaphorically, was agonizing for the spotted girl.
@[Abdullah]
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the rose shadows said that they loved the sun, but they also loved the dark,
where their roots grew through the lightless mystery of the earth. the roses said: you do not have to choose.
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