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03-12-2015, 11:21 PM
 give me strength when i am standing and faith when i fall I had been avoiding Cera because I knew that I was wrong for what I had done to him. I knew I overreacted, I treated him terribly, and I felt horribly guilty about the whole thing. When it finally hit me just what I had done I should have gone looking for him right away to apologize and beg him to forgive me, but I thought that he wouldn't want to see me. If our positions were reversed I can't say that I would want to see him. I guess that's why I hadn't even been back to the tree that we used to sleep under out of the fear that he would be there and I would have to face him when I wasn't prepared. Add to that trauma of witnessing Hototo's murder ... I really didn't want to be around anyone except for Ryuu. I knew what I had to do, though, and as I made the long walk back to the tree I could feel my heart pounding furiously in my chest. What if he didn't forgive me? What if I lost my other brother? What would I do? Who would I go to? The worry and doubt made me feel sick to my stomach and it would have been so easy for me to turn and run away than have to take responsibility and fix what I had broken. Besides Ryuu, Cera was the only constant in my life. He was always there when I needed him and it made me feel immeasurably stupid for being so mean and hateful to him. That sick feeling in my stomach only got worse when I could finally see the tree looming like some hulking monster, waiting to tear my heart out and devour it. My steps slowed and I hesitated, thinking again that I could more easily turn and run away, but he was there. I could see Cera ... waiting? I thought that he couldn't possibly be waiting for me, but I had to be wrong. Why would he wait for such a horrible sister? He was probably just resting between jobs because he was important. He had a purpose, which was more than I could say for myself. I was still several feet away when I stopped and stood staring. I don't know if he noticed me but it took me several minutes to calm myself enough so that I didn't turn and run away. "I... Cera." My voice was tight, nearly strangled as I struggled with myself, trying to figure out what to say and how to explain myself. I took a deep breath and sighed, my eyes falling from my brother's painted body to the ground. "I'm sorry." I whispered, unsure if he heard the words of it he would even care. "."  |
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