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I HAVE BURNED MY TOMORROWS, AND I STAND INSIDE TODAY
At the edge of the future, and my dreams all fade away
Anger. The color of his mind was red, and she recoiled visibly, taking a step backward. Two, delicately shaped ears flattened against the curve of her neck as his bitter words echoed throughout his mind. She clenched her jaw tightly, confused and open heart aching from this new wound. Ophelia could not hold back her pained response, mistrust and pain glistening in her strange, dual colored eyes. “Never made a difference before! Hearts break hearts,” she snapped back, lashing out her only way of defending her heart from words that meant more to her than anyone else’s. Had a stranger spoken to her, had anyone else given her that bitter response, she could have let it roll off with a shrug and a sarcastic snort.
But not him. He had the unique and powerful ability to hurt her deeply.
Ophelia blinked hard, wondering if this was his way of telling her that he loved her, but…
But, you are difficult. But, this is the end. But, you need to change… Love was unconditional; didn’t he know that? Or was she the fool to think that she would be worthy of love as she was now? Broken and damaged.
Warily, she listened, breathing hard. Emotions made her heart run miles in her chest, and she heard him speak. Lies. How could that be true? Kings of kings had threatened to kill her. Famed warriors had softer lovers. All she wanted was stability, like he offered. She did not want fame and beauty. She had never desired rich trinkets or material relationships. What she desired was so simple and yet had eluded her time and time again: loyalty. Above all else, she wanted the same voice to rouse her in the morning that put her to sleep that evening. She wanted arguments that ended in a tight embrace and conversation that lasted a lifetime about nothing.
She wanted to be able to trust that when she was gone, he would not waver, and she wanted to prove that she would not either. What she wanted was pure and wholesome in a dark world of vengeance and lies, but she had waited, heartbreak after heartbreak, for what she knew she would never deserve. Because, she was one of the shadows. She was a creature of vengeance, and like all fallen angels, she wanted just one more taste of heaven’s glory.
Blue eyes left her as he stared at the ground, ice cracking beneath the weight of his hooves. Could he really do what he said? Did he have the patience to pick up so many pieces? Did he want to make her happy? Was this the ended that she always wanted? So many questions, and she felt as if she could barely breathe.
Silence settled between them as she stared dumbly, the hammering of her heart racing in her chest. The answer she wanted to give was such an easy choice, but here and now? Duty called her to the Edge, and he might leave. Was this is way of holding on to her regardless of his decision, even though he sounded so sincere? In the end, she had to trust.
One last time.
“If… If… you can do as you say,” she said quietly in his mind, her words dripping with emotion and hanging on all of her fears. “I deserve none of what you have to offer, and your words would be better spent on hearts less damaged than mine. But, I… I want to be selfish. I want this for myself, and I want you for myself. Tell me… Tell me that that is not wrong?” she said, taking a shaking step forward. “Tell me that wanting you is right and that I can learn to love as deeply and honorably as you do?” The words were a silent beg, two colored eyes sweeping his for answers.
“I will love you as I know how. I can… I do love you.”
Was that right? Was this enough?
“But I will fail you. I am sure of this. Days, months, years from now, I will. If you still want me, I want you.”
Please say yes.
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[O] Silent beauty, silent ending [Torleik]
