i won't be saved

a puzzled, confused look slips across my face as i watch sia start talking to the octopus. a brow rises in confusion as i'm still twitchy and panicked from the fact that a small sea dwelling creature chose me to cling to. i was thoroughly tempted to kick it off until sia started asking it to let go. i watch, bewildered, as its eight slippery tentacles conform, replaced by a snake tail as it slithers its way off, hissing during the transition. "um sia... what is.. it?" i ask, watching the reptile slither off somewhere in the sand, illuminated by the moon's pale light.

at the mention of the falls being invaded, my heart sinks, stomach winding up and i look past sia, instead seeing a distant plume of smoke billowing from my former home, blood running through the falls, a river of ruby red spilling out and turning the herd into a disastrous war zone. metallic amber sheathed beneath chestnut lids, revealing that everything was just a figment of my nightmares. just a daydream, one that sent shivers down my spine as i stood and watched the dark horizon, still expecting the plumes of smoke rising from the falls. seele had worked so hard to establish something there, she'd done everything in her power to keep us safe and make sure we were all well, to make sure that every asylum member was safely kept within the borders of the falls.

our family was scattered and broken now, fragmented and strewn over helovia. but had there really been anyone from the asylum left in the falls? had we all been slowly washed out by each new herd member that pushed us closer and closer away? i feel that by the end, we were forgotten, some of us not even remembering our duties to the asylum. i still remembered, i had never let those memories go. i'd fastened them, keeping them close and watching as everyone else gradually forgot about what we once had, the days spent gathered in the marsh sharing laughs and discussing important things, precious memories everyone let slip from between their fingers as this new found 'hidden falls' replaced everything. we'd been run out of our home by the gods themselves, outcasted into a world that wouldn't accept us. "how pitiful," a tsk tsk can be heard as a sarcastic sentence slips from the Skinwalkers pale lips. golden eyes, wicked and dark as it steps forward, dancing behind sia in the skin of seele, my body beginning to shake as a sickening laugh rings from its throat, echoing in my head.

sammie's hysterical bark sends me slamming back into the wall that is reality, fixating me in place as i stand before sia. she's jumping madly around the small black pup that sia called hobgoblin, her paws ablaze. hobgoblin— how odd a name, suitable for such an odd little beast. sammie seems to be mocking the tiny pup, her long, bushy tail sweeping just above the small dog's reach as she bounds up and down in the sand gleefully, running and leaping in circles around sia's new companion. my normally solemn attitude shrinks as sammie's emotions win dominance over mine, a bleak smile finding its way to my lips as the Skinwalker's mad laugh is forgotten, pushed to the back of my mind where i'm sure it'll soon find its way back to the front.

for now i enjoy this seemingly odd, blissful moment, feeling sia tug at a portion of my mane, dragging me into the sand with her. "i've been.. um—" what had i been doing recently? i couldn't tell her that i'd just been tucked away in various nooks and crannies in helovia, no. i couldn't tell her i was sleepless, becoming some odd, nocturnal beast that roamed the world at night, half-minded and solemn. i wasn't going to mention the fact that recently i'd begun to lose myself, waking up caked with blood and sweat, laying somewhere far from where i'd last remembered being. it's happened more and more ever since seele's death, bits and pieces of my nights awake blank, my mind completely skipping over the holes in my memory. i'd started to fear going to sleep, thinking that i've been sleep.. murdering?

i give a small laugh towards sia, still trying to form a response. "ah nowhere in particular really.. i don't have anywhere to go or much to do, and you're always busy so.." i shift my wings in a shrugging motion, left wing protesting, not budging so instead i only shrug with one wing. "just wandering i guess." i give a yawn, my sleepless days catching up with me as i lay beside sia, basking beneath a mix of her faint glow and the moon's radiance, my pale spots bright against all the different light sources. despite how much i'd like to rest my head against sia and sleep, my fears prevent me from doing so. instead i tremble anxiously as i watch the darkness, moving closer to sia and her source of light as if it will aid in banishing the shadows. i smile, pushing my forehead towards her neck, whispering to her in an almost dreamy, elated tone. "i've missed you."

@[Sikeax] • <3