It’s a hard place to back to. Like…when you don’t even know what’s happening yourself, it all kinda sits funny in your head, and it’s too jilted and angled and crooked to really look at straight. And I’m talking about all the pieces of it; the emotions I felt, the ideas I had, the perception I had of that chick on the ground, getting madder and madder at me for standing there and looking down on her—all of it’s jumbled and every time I look back on it, the meaning behind my memories slips through my clutches and I’m stuck grabbing in thin air.

I guess…I don’t even know. There was this plot cooking in my head in that moment, that Ma had warned the citizens against me—or maybe the citizens themselves had decided to pin themselves against me for making their leader cry (still fucked me up, thinking about Ma as any kind of leader that didn’t stand for the Foothills). Or maybe it was just the fact that I was so destructive and I was just flinging this poor girl everywhere it seemed and I had no control over it—so obviously she was gonna fight back and she was launching herself at me to finally put the monster down.

Somewhere along those lines my mind screamed “fuck it” and I guess that was the sound of it snapping in two. Instinct would have to take over reservation eventually and I ain’t really all that reserved in the first place—I guess what I’m trying to say is that, when you boil away all the trimmings and the politics behind it, there was someone attacking me and I didn’t know who swung the first punch but my nerves weren’t about to let me take that shit lying down.

The lightning was out of me before I could change my mind; it was a white-hot burst out of me, right for the chick charging with her horn pointed at me, and maybe I screamed something (“Stay away from me!!”), I dunno, like I said it’s all a blur at this point. Nothing but the mechanics of survival kicking in, where my head and my heart was failing me.

After that I…well. I don’t really know what happened. You were clinging to my skull and I guess my actions were freaking you out super hard or whatever, but I don’t remember actually leaving the scene. You told me later I zapped the poor kid and then high-tailed it out of here—subconsciously getting the fuck out of the dodge before the mob descended, I guess. The next thing I remember was waking up somewhere damp much, much more south than where I had been, and it was basically you who remembered that entire episode.

Like...whatever. Maybe I’ll apologize to that girl one day. (For what, I’m still not sure).





@Zünden -- I hope this works! Sorry for the wait!
"talk"