Of course, I'd left a few times before this one, but that was only me being brave. I didn't like the way she left me alone like that, but I would accept it because I'd done it to her, and- I wasn't really alone. I had him there with me, and... I wasn't alone. I wasn't alone.
I have to remind myself that.
After a little while of sitting and telling myself I wasn't alone, I heard her sweet voice, an echo in the woods, a soft murmur, a melodic call. "Mum" I whisper softly, my russet feathers ruffling.
A Gull? What was that? Wasn't it a bird? I shake my head. The Gull was a him...? Was I meeting a bird? All these thoughts confused me, so I just let them fade from my mind, I let her rose feathers take me away, her smile drew me close. I am touching flanks with her as we make our way to where we will be meeting this Gull. It is now that I realize Gull is a person.
When we finally reach him, I take the time to look him over for a little, my words staying hidden behind my gaze and my mouth, although there are plenty of things I need to say right now. When we stop in front of him, I snuggle closer to Mum.
I like her close.
A father.
Didn't I already had a father? Wasn't it the dark one that called himself Leliel? The one that was there when I came into the world? Why wasn't this father there? Could he make it? Did he want to be there? Why was I meeting him now? Questions spun in my head like a dreidel. I couldn't figure out which one to ask first, so I sputtered "a f-father?" And left it at that for a few moments before I followed up with a question. "Why weren't you there?" I ask, "why weren't you there when I came to the sun?" My voice is so innocent in this placing, my heart was skipping beats and I didn't even know that could happen.
"Father? Gull?" I try the name like its a question, like I get to say that. Like I get to call one father. Not just Leliel. I liked Leliel just fine, but he was only a guardian to me. I turn to look back up at Mum. "I wanted a father." I whisper softly so that Gull - father - doesn't hear me.
Maybe he does. How would I know what fathers can and can't hear?
~@[Gull], @[Muriel]