Essetia & Romul

I needed to calm down, you’re way too bold to love

Maren: a sensible name for a sensible creature. She seemed intelligent or sharp to be more precise and yet, somehow distant as if she were living far from the present… maybe in the past somewhere or even the future, but certainly not here. I couldn’t decipher which was more accurate and honestly had no motivation to know, even if the cryptic Diviner intrigued me at times. The way that she questioned and pushed me was enough to insure that Maren was always in search of knowledge or understanding. If a puzzle was set before her, she would solve it… which made me believe that it wouldn’t be long before she uncovered exactly where I’d come from. But did it truly matter what was behind me so much as what was before me? I hadn’t proven myself an ally just yet, but I hadn’t given her any reason to think I might be the enemy. In a way Maren and I were similar… we put reality before fantasy and our dreams before all the rest. I respected her for that- or at least I respected my own assumptions on the matter. Truth was what we told one another, but truth had a different meaning for everyone.

However, she seemed perplexed by my reluctance or my uncertainty rather. Hesitation? It was a single word that meant so many things, though only small things in my mind, and yet she focused on it as if I’d whispered secrets to her that no one else knew. Perhaps I’d done just that or perhaps I was hoping she’d catch the soft dipping of my voice and the sorrow that filled its hole. Either way, I couldn’t find the words to answer her question and instead let her curiosity –still unanswered- drift easily away upon the dry, desert breeze.

“A beautiful name,” I complimented instead, despite her unwillingness to let my complexities fall by the wayside. The Diviner was anything but dense and all the twists and turns I’d suffered to divert her did little to sway her determination. It seemed to her that kin was about trust and with trust came answers to questions of every depth. Yet, she didn’t know what images she was digging up and the bones she would find were everything but straightforward. “Family is a concept that I understand well,” I stated as we walked side by side. “But also something that is more than a word that stitches us together by law,” I continued with a slight grimace. “You stand beside me and call me kin, but what is it that compels you to say that? What have I done to earn such a bond?” I asked. I turned for a moment to study her as we talked and as we shared more about ourselves than we’d ever planned to do on such a bright and sunny, autumn day. “Forgive me, it is not my intent to offend, but I am truly curious. You say so much so easily… -I can only hope for it to be true,” I finished breathlessly.

For a time I let my words take shape in her mind and for what seemed to be an eternity we were both content to memorize the dunes and the sand and all of the land that made up the borders of our home. Was there another word for such a place? Would it be our refuge more aptly or just a prison in which we inhabited of our own free will…? Either way, its concept was anything but clear now… Maren had made sure of that.

I hadn’t been expecting her to know much of the Edge and from the way she said it, it was likely I was right. However, the topic of the invasion was another mountain entirely. Her knowledge was like standing at the peak and wondering if I could jump… It was like asking myself if I would rather fight to survive or freefall into something bigger than I was. Every word that passed her pale lips was like a barb –one that splintered deep inside- and opened a fresh wound across the surface of my heart. They could have saved the Hidden Falls… they could have stopped the war. But they didn’t and here I was, still estimating the distance between myself and the ground. “I suppose every great monument must fall at some time or another,” I stated grimly. Even stone could be eroded by water.

Before I could reconcile with my emotions and before I could pity myself for what I’d lost, the Diviner found a slip in the silence in which to insert her wisdom. It’s not that I hadn’t expected a sermon of sorts, but I’d wanted to grieve and to mourn and to wallow in my hurt. I guessed it was Maren’s way of bridging the gap between us and I was grateful, I was, but still sore and still silent as she regaled me with her past. She had come from a place called Deneb, a natural wanderer from what I could tell, and discovered the hardships of life in the wilds outside Helovia. It wasn’t so much the story as the lesson it embodied that was entirely relevant. Somewhere behind those burgundy-flecked eyes, I found a sense of understanding or a shaft of light that meant she knew more than she let on. I nodded slowly at the Diviner with her strange, outlandish wings and smiled.

“Thank you,” I whispered forlornly. Thank you for seeing what others could not. “I would still love to join you…”