My weight was shed with him, my vulnerability exposed, and the layers of my defense completely disarmed. A soft sigh escaped me as I watched the walls around me crumble into ruin… How long had I been carrying my instabilities so close to heart? How long had I been trying to hide behind them? I was afraid to ask any more questions for fear that I’d discover answers I couldn’t yet face, but a single thought –one I tried so hard to repress- would not remain silent. It begged for light, pressed against my lips, and simmered deep inside until I was forced to wonder. Why? Why did this complete stranger move me to so much emotion? What about him allowed me to breathe after holding my breath for so long?
I could see myself in his eyes, my reflection being fragmented by shadows and secrets, but I was there nonetheless. It didn’t seem to be my fire that drew him to me like Ulrik, but my weakness- the only thing I was so ashamed to admit that I’d adopted an almost constant façade. I felt somehow relieved that he saw what I sought to conceal… I didn’t need words to explain myself. He was able to read everything I tried but couldn’t say. A certain calm reached across the water and I watched soundlessly as the stallion shifted to unseat his retriever before sending her back to shore. I turned to study her as she approached Romul and the wolf grunted softly as if to soothe my reservations. I’d never had to worry about the wolf, but my nerves were so fragile and careless that I needed something –anything- to distract me from the force of sheer will that was the warrior.
On the shore, Romul greeted the retriever with a muffled whine. However, he quickly paused when her fragmented communication splintered through his bond with Essetia. Never before had he experienced such a phenomenon and it took him a great while to understand what the retriever had asked of him. Slowly, his golden gaze was drawn to his companion and a subtle, wolfish frown parted his black lips. There was something in the sloping of the dog’s shoulders that told of possible sadness or perhaps it was just her reluctance to leave her “warrior” as Essetia called him. Either way, the wolf detected something… strange. Always…? he questioned. Always what? Was Essetia always so distant? Was she always so unpredictable?
Those were all questions the wolf had answers to, but answers that he was unwilling to share. Their sacred bond was something that could not be tarnished… it was the only thing that made the young wolf mindful. With thoughts of his mare coloring his mood, Romul glanced out at the bay with admiration and love. It had been so long since she’d been able to forsake her strength and recognize her weakness. It had been far too long.
I felt his heavy stare long before the wolf confirmed it, but I was glad to know he was watching. His protection was like a blanket to me, a sense of security that wrapped itself around me until I was no longer cold with doubt. Even when the warrior approached, his muscular neck extended –inviting- I was not afraid of what he would do or say. I was only curious. The sweet scent of his moist skin and the tickling of his breath against my ear- it was all so new. Had Ulrik ever been that gentle or concerned? Even if he hadn’t, what did all of it mean? I had so many questions and no reason to find answers because somehow my existence outside the cave was unimportant. Everything else was simply… gone.
Still embarrassed by his closeness, I nodded my consent to the stallion’s request and followed him further into the pool so that the water reached for my back and my hips. It lapped against my neck and I sighed, grateful for the coolness that tamed the sudden warmth the warrior lit within me. I imagined again what he’d been through as my eyes trailed the length of his back, wandering across old scars and old stories that I’d never hear. He was a vision of light where Ulrik was darkness… the two so different in my mind and yet both inspired more than my curiosity. I battled with my intentions for a moment, sussing out reasons and theories behind all of my complicated emotions. I didn’t know what any of it meant and at that moment I didn’t care…
That is, until I was forced to forget everything in the splashing of the soft waves, turned violent by the warrior himself. As he dove beneath the crystalline surface of the pool, I all but gasped. Ess?, Romul questioned from the shore at my back. I wasn’t sure what to do or how to answer the wolf and instead focused my gaze in all directions before jumping slightly when the stallion pressed his nose into me chest from below. When at last he resurfaced, his thrashing sprayed cold, glittering water across my face and for the first time since I’d arrived, I laughed. Truly laughed.
The wolf could barely believe his eyes, but did nothing to assist his companion because the retriever seems just as spellbound by the warrior as he. Again she attempted to question him about Essetia and again he struggled to comprehend. But, there was something about the pair that put Essetia at ease… something otherworldly. For a moment, he blinked and considered what the other wanted to know. Essetia was always there… just as she was here now, but Romul was hesitant to say as much. Did it matter either way what the retriever learned of his companion? Did it somehow threaten his bond with her? Yes, he finally replied. She’s never been anywhere but here, he stated while glancing down to his chest… to his heart. |
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