As strong as the seas are stormy.</style>
Everything dissolves, falling apart into catastrophe, and all the young maiden can do is watch as everyone roars to the fore with words of venom and hatred. The love and pride that had bloomed in her chest to see Arya and Mirabella gazing up at her, idolizing her, wilts away into something tender and reticent. Words directed at her, at her successes, spitting on all the hard work Hotaru had put into achieving the title she couldn't even revel in for a bare moment. They hurt and slash at her, inspiring discomfort and hurt alongside a sudden well of anger. It was only a matter of time before something such as this occurred, the Basin had been on too linear a path to be believable for a very long time. Before she can so much as wrap her head around the issue around the words, there are already more. So many more. Unbidden, her gaze falls to her daughters, for Mirabella is as much hers lately as Arya. And everything falls into a momentary quiet.
Hotaru could respond with anger, with injustice. She could point out everything Arah didn't do, all her failings as both a mother and a herd member. It would be easy. If Phaedra had given her anything, it was her silver tongue, and that dagger in her mouth could cause more damage than the older mare could imagine. Oh, it would be sweet to see her bleed. That was undeniable. And it would be easy. But she looks into their faces, upturned and hopeful, dreaming of their futures, and Hotaru pauses. The world falls away from her, leaving those two little girls. Standing side by side, camaraderie and sisterhood, she what Ophelia was to herself. An idol, a mentor, a protector.
What kind of lesson would she be teaching them, by not accepting criticism? By not showing them that there was more to being a woman king than brutality?
Thranduil rushes to her defense, his fury as tangible as her own, and unexpectedly her heart warms and pulses as her eyes drift to caress his golden hide. He defends her, as he has from those who sought her body to cease her pillaging of the land. Though she hides it mostly well, her eyes widen subtly and her heart quivers in her chest. Hotaru had stood on her own, in perfect solitude and independence, since her birth. Nobody had ever cared for her, for her awkward coloration or her disturbing bicolored eyes. Hotaru had suffered, had broken. And in her defeat, her loneliness, she had looked at her own shattered self and found some diamond core of strength that she had never anticipated. But even as she rose through the years, clawing her way to the top - where she belonged damn it, no matter what Arah said - Hotaru had never been protected, defended. Perhaps it was why she'd always distrusted Thranduil a little too much, why she'd never known how to act or react around him. He was a threat to her, but maybe he was also a threat because the maiden didn't know how to handle his possessiveness, his claim on her.
Their Engineer awakens, and Deimos tries his best to keep a handle on things, and at last it is her turn to speak. She slides up to take her place at the forefront, to draw attention to herself. But as she does, her eyes flicker to Thranduil, evanescent and beautiful. There is a tiny gleam of gratitude, of a certain shyness, because she doesn't know how to react to his fervent defense of her - the almost pride of his lauding regarding her personal achievements. For how long had he watched her? It troubled the woman that she had not noticed, or perhaps not as much as she should have. But it was also...interesting. Something to be taken up later, as her gaze spoke quietly to him.
To Arah's retreating back she called, her voice clear and crystal, calm. "If you are going to attack me and my position, I will listen. But it is only fair you give me a chance for rebuttal, otherwise it is merely childish. And that's coming from the one who you just deigned too young for the crown." It is not fierce, she does not spit it as she very well could have, but a tiny wry grin does appear on her face nonetheless. She hopes it calms those angered, to see her being a little humorous - somewhat sarcastic though it was - in the face of her degradation. Her eyes turn to Deimos, but her words are for everyone. "No, there should be no concealing her thoughts before everyone. The Basin is supposed to be a family. I have no qualms with addressing her issues now, where everyone can see and hear." And so her face hardened into seriousness, more so than before, as it turned to regard Arah and those gathered - whether the ivory mare returned or not.
"Lena has spoken, and I appreciate your sentiments," she added, her eyes falling to the mare who was so often overlooked. The one who had saved her daughter's life just as surely as the immortal magic in her veins had. "I wasn't here for a lot of what occurred, but that makes me stronger does it not? Old wounds, bitterness, desires for revenge for ancient snubs, where has it gotten the Basin? Nowhere but failed invasions and distrust, forced isolation. You may look down upon my achievements, but I have helped us all gain allies, gain our own people in positions of power in the old Edge lands. With the help of Illynx, my mentor, whom you say I watched leave without feeling or loss. But I digress, I am trying to take this in with the proper respect that you deserve. For Ulrik is not wrong." Shaking her head, Hotaru sighed softly, tail flicking idly against her hocks. What would words even do? Did it even matter, or would they still simply regard her as a child and tune out her attempts at explanation, diplomacy?
It was both her children and Ophelia's ghost that lent her the strength and surety to go on. Ophelia had brought diplomacy and patience, words and wisdom. She had appointed Hotaru as the Lady in her stead, to be held equal against a perfect sneak and a perfect warrior. And she saw enlightenment. Was that why she had been encouraged, brought to the forefront of Deimos' thoughts on the election? Ophelia had seen something far before Hotaru had, but the rosen girl finally saw it in that moment, and she was never more sure of her words as they left her mouth. "I am young. But I am tempered by two older leads, if my potentially childish passion is what you fear. Illynx and Ophelia were my mentors, and they have shown me what I can do. If you cannot trust in me right now, trust in what they think of me. You claim you care so much for their memory, I ask why you therefore do not trust their judgement." Though she wished to curse the brat for bringing up Faelene - how dare she, she didn't know anything, didn't know a damn thing about Hotaru's godmother and how she felt about the woman - she did not. There was no use, it would only give Arah leverage and further prove her point.
"All I have to say is that yes, we were once feared. But we were also hated. We were cornered in this northern sphere, and we suffered because we had no allies. We had nothing but our own supposed strength, which we couldn't even utilize. The Throat has long reigned beneath powerful, successful rule. And alongside it? Allies. Always. Yes, you have been here longer than me, Arah. You have seen these seasons pass and watched the darkness that consumed us. But you are bitter with old glory that did not truly shine," it was said almost softly, as if gingerly touching a wound. "I don't expect your gratitude for stealing the one who hurt your children, or for securing the friendship of the titan that currently holds her. As Deimos said, I shouldn't expect it." A light shrug of her shoulder, her momentary bitterness displaying itself in her prior words rather than the latter explanation.
"But if you doubt me now, if you doubt my abilities and age, then either do something and do better or let me prove myself. Because I will." It was a vow, a promise. Hotaru would show them that she deserved her crown, age be damned.
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saints just swimming in our sins again
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