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As euphoria fades a certain dread awaken, prompted by the return of reality. Sweet bliss, the aftermath of oblivion and prompted by heedless lust, leaves a bitter aftertaste when memories of pain and loss once again lay claim to her heart, her mind, her soul. The memory of his touch linger on her skin and if she allows herself to savor it a shudder of pleasure still wreck her like waves would a ship at sea... But her sails are tattered and the rudder disconnected, and the captain has long since fallen overboard.
Contempt filled her as she glance at the stallion, rash abandon replaced by a new shyness. Not because she so willingly accepted him, or because there was anything wrong with her choice of bedmate. In fact, he was even more handsome now that she took the time to actually look at him objectively. No, it was the whole reason why they now were there, together, awkwardly gawking at one another - or maybe she was the only one feeling shy? - that caused it.
Old woman, yet still no control over her own urges. She should have been more restrained, more ashamed over bedding someone half her age, should have thought twice before repeating the same mistake...
But had Kari really been a mistake? At the time she would have wanted nothing more than to be rid of her son, but now that he was no longer by her side the mare felt only empty and sad. Was it a mistake to risk the arrival of another child? Was she allowed to hope for one, when she had failed so horribly at raising her firstborn?
"Am I even allowed to be happy?"
The sound of her own voice made the little mare flinch, and her eyes went in the direction of the silver stallion, wondering - dreading - if he had heard.
@[Vadim]
HP: 42Healed
| Outcast atk: 4.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 6 |
| Stallion :: Hybrid :: 17.1 :: 5 HP: 64.5 | Buff: NOVICE |
| Vlasi :: Common Rougarou :: Water ali |
 Vadim hello teacher tell me whats my lesson look right through me look right through me Vadim stands near shadow, but he doesn't look at her. One ear is tilted in her direction and he listens to the sound of her breath while he stares out into the distance. He can feel her looking at him, but he gaze remains steady and fixed on the treeline. He is unsure of what drove him to bed the pegasus mare, the feelings that had surged within him are completely foreign. Try as he might he is unable to understand, but he cannot help but wish that she had been a different mare. Pale and graceful, her long hair nearly kissing the ground, and her sweet voice making his heart beat just a little bit faster. Nayati. He yearns for her, but she's disappeared from his life like so many before her. "Am I even allowed to be happy?" He hears her voice and this makes him finally turn his head toward her. It is ironic, he thinks, that her question would mimic what he's felt for most of his life. "Of course." He rumbles and he steps toward her. He stretches his neck toward her, his goal being to drape his neck across her back and pull her to his chest and just stand with her for a while. As he does this he wonders what might come from their encounter. He wonders if she'll bear a child and if she does if he'll know or if he'll be left in the dark. "You deserve to be happy." As he says this he brushes his muzzle against her feathers and sighs. Everyone deserves some form of happiness, he thinks, but the world is cruel and cold and completely unforgiving. Nayati walking out of his life, just disappearing without a word or a trace, is proof enough of that for him. "Will you disappear, too?" He asks. "." @[Shadow] |
Icon by Tay
| Deceased atk: 6.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5 |
| Filly :: Hybrid :: 14.2 :: 8 HP: 63 | Buff: ENDURE |
| Chan |
The guarded expression softened at his calm reply, matter of fact and reasonable. Shadow wasn't sure what she had expected, what she had wanted him to say, but this must be close enough. A soft breath rose in a cloud of glittering frost as she leaned into the embrace, relaxing despite the inner voice that told her it was madness to do so. What did she know about this stallion, this pale stranger whom she had never crossed path or word with before? Who was he, where did he come from, where was he headed?
Maybe he was as lonely as she, adrift in the world.
"I don't know" she replied slowly, watching as her breath twirled and coiled in on itself, a wisp of smoke turning from a snake to a dragon into a flock of restless birds before dissolving in the cold air. Who was it that left him behind? "Where would I go? I'm bound to this land, Vadim, I couldn't leave if I wanted to."
This was the place her son was born. Not the exact spot, mind, but the region, the realm. Helovia. If she had any chance of finding him, it would be here.
If...
But the thought of never again laying eyes on the child she so reluctantly had come to love was painful and with a shudder she buried it, pressing her face against the warm neck of her lover to erase the chill left in its wake.
When she had met Kari once more, knew that he was alive and well, maybe then she would be able to leave. Travel, visit foreign lands and old trekking paths, maybe find friends and family of old.
"If I did... would you come with me?"
Shadow smiled at the thought of introducing Vadim to her father. The old stallion would have been horrified at the lack of wings, the horn, the fact that someone had touched his daughter... The scene would be thoroughly amusing, but even as she mulled it over the blackbird didn't think it would actually happen. She might be a fool but she was not naive. This, whatever this was - happiness, self-indulgence, deceit of heart and mind - couldn't possibly be expected to last. For being a total stranger Vadim was pleasant, charming, comforting and she enjoyed his presence, but how long would he stand her, old and wild and burdened with the years? How long until she herself began to long for freedom, for wind under her wings and a new horizon? It wasn't like he could truly follow her, not without wings of his own...
Come to think of it, this was the second time she had chosen a unicorn to bed. Was it a sign, an omen, a premonition of times to come? Last time there had been an invasion followed by pregnancy. If she became with child this time... Shadow peered up at his face, allowing herself a moment to dream; of companionship and company, of friendship, of love...
"If you want me to, I can stay."
@[Vadim]
HP: 42Healed
| Outcast atk: 4.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 6 |
| Stallion :: Hybrid :: 17.1 :: 5 HP: 64.5 | Buff: NOVICE |
| Vlasi :: Common Rougarou :: Water ali |
Vadim hello teacher tell me whats my lesson look right through me look right through me "I don't know. Where would I go? I'm bound to this land, Vadim, I couldn't leave if I wanted to." For a moment he stands there and wonders how she knows his name but then her realizes that he must have told her sometime between finding her and bedding her. His ears flick back as he tries to remember, but it is little more than a blur; a mixture of lust, loneliness, the desire to lose himself in the flesh of a strange mare in an attempt to forget the one that he wanted by his side. The one that disappeared. His mind drifts away from thoughts of Nayati and what drove him and Shadow together and he begins to wonder what she means by bound to this land. He doesn't understand because land is land, is it not? No matter where you go there will be land, isn't it all the same? He blinks when she asks if he would go with her and he assumes that she means if she left Helovia. His head drops a little more and he lips gently at the feathers attached to her wing as he wonders over her question. Could he leave? Would he leave? If he did what would happen to Vlasi? Would she be able to leave Helovia? It is in that moment that he realizes what she means by bound to this land. He supposes in a way he is bound to Helovia because of Vlasi. "I don't know." He finally answers. He thinks that he should say more, but he doesn't know what to say. She begins to move and he lifts his neck to allow her to move freely, thinking that she wanted to step away, but all she does is look at him. He turns his head toward her and blinks in surprise when she says that she could stay if he wanted her to. But why? Why would she stay? Did he want her to stay? He barely knows her aside from her name, which he finally remembered was Shadow, and the feel of her body beneath him. "Why would you stay?" "." @[Shadow] |
Icon by Tay
| Deceased atk: 6.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5 |
| Filly :: Hybrid :: 14.2 :: 8 HP: 63 | Buff: ENDURE |
| Chan |
No, she didn't want to step away. Not right now, not yet. The fire he had lit within her still smoldered and cast a warm glow over the barren landscapes of her heart. She wanted to pretend, if only for a short while, that this brief connection had been more than simply a need of the flesh, that there was a deeper and more profound reason why they, of all the horses that roamed in Helovia, had crossed paths at this particular moment. Even if it meant fooling herself - because even now that little voice was whispering to her at the back of the mind, telling her not to be such a naive brat - Shadow wished to savor this instant for as long as it lasted. A new day would dawn whether she wished for it or not, and when that happened they would be forced to face reality and answer all these difficult questions one last time. Stay? Or leave? Together? Or... each to their own path once more?
For now, all she wanted to do was dream. And in a dream it didn't hurt to talk about the missing child, the lost mother, the hopes and dreams she had carried for so long without ever voicing, because the opportune moment had never arrived. Well, here she had it.
"Why not? You aren't bad company, and I have no herd to go back to" she replied with a slight smile, speaking easily yet with regret in the voice. "I used to stay with the Dragon's Throat, but that was many years ago and the horses I once knew are scattered with the wind. My son too..."
Something caught in her throat and forced her to stop and swallow. Okay, so maybe it still hurt. Some wounds just went too deep to be forgotten, even if she tried.
Still. His question seemed to be warranting more answer than what she had given, and as Shadow regarded the pale stallion she questioned herself again. Why would she stay? For him? For her? For the sake of a child that may or may not be growing within her?
She recalled how she had shivered as he came walking through the snow-capped landscape, like a ghost of silver and blue. Lust, surprise that anyone had answered her needy, shameless call, delight as he seemed to share the same longing for closeness. And the maddening, all consuming passion that followed.
Shadow smiled softly. The answer was quite simple, really.
"When I called, you were the one who came. I didn't want to be alone then, and I don't want to be alone now. I would rather stay together... At least for a while?"
She did not say please, she did not beg. He would never hear her plead for anything; the blackbird was too proud to ever do that, not for anything. But she could ask, and she did it graciously, quietly, shyly even, because she was still a mare too used to rejection and loss, and she knew that a refusal from this man would hurt. Yet it was better than to leave and regret; she had too many of those already, and it wouldn't be fair to decide for him what he ought to do.
A soft, black nose reached up towards his and paused halfway, quivering nostrils the only sign that she wasn't completely calm, the only hint to the flutter of inky butterflies in her belly.
This wasn't love, that much was clear. But she still wanted to stay with him, if only for a little longer. If he would let her.
@[Vadim] ahaha I keep hearing this song playing in my head (^~^)
HP: 42Healed
| Outcast atk: 4.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 6 |
| Stallion :: Hybrid :: 17.1 :: 5 HP: 64.5 | Buff: NOVICE |
| Vlasi :: Common Rougarou :: Water ali |
Vadim hello teacher tell me whats my lesson look right through me look right through me The only thing Vadim is able to do is stare as Shadow tells him that he's not bad company. He wonders why she thinks that, but years of refraining from speaking and asking questions makes the stallion hold his tongue. Thankfully she moves on and his thoughts are drawn away from the fact that she thinks he's good company to her revelation that she was part of the Dragon's Throat and that she has a son. He wants to question her about her child, what his name is, what he looks like, who his father is, but the hitch in her voice and his common sense keep him from doing so. He comes to the conclusion that if she wanted to talk about her child that she would do so of her own free will. And judging by the way her voice sounded, the way her breath seemed to hitch, and she forced herself to stop he concludes that her son would be a topic for another time. "When I called, you were the one who came. I didn't want to be alone then, and I don't want to be alone now. I would rather stay together... At least for a while?" He understands the pain of loneliness and that understanding, he feels, would make it difficult for him to tell her to leave even if he wanted her to. But he doesn't want her to leave. For so long he was alone with little more than his thoughts to keep him company. Vlasi is still a recent addition to his life, and while he loves her and cherishes her company she is not of his own species. Just as he cannot offer her everything she needs she cannot offer him everything he needs. "I would like for you to stay, Shadow." He says as he reaches to touch his muzzle to hers. "For a little while." He adds on, because he feels that she will not want to stay with him forever and he's not sure he would want her to stay forever either. He thinks that this mutual attraction between them, borne of lust, will fade and eventually they will drift apart and go their separate ways. "." @[Shadow] |
Icon by Tay
