"Where brilliance is good and madness is better..."
Helovia Info
Helovia opened in February 2012! We are an active fantasy equine RPG
Where once the world narrowed into naught but gray dust and desolation, the gods called for life. Wielding the elements of fire and light, dark and wind, earth and water, spark and time, they have created Helovia. The realm is set within the mythical globe of Loorien, a planet rich with all variety of creatures and blessed with all manner of magic. Originally populated by nomadic, tribal characters, they've since grown into massive empires saturated with culture and history. Separated into four distinct segments of Helovia, called "The Regions," each band of horse strong enough and capable enough, took up the power and responsibility of leadership. Unicorns, old, wise and mysterious, took to the north, hidden in forests of mists and shadows and rarely making themselves known beyond their cliffs of the World's Edge. Equines, vast, organized and militaristic, split into two, one group went north to the Windtossed Foothills and the other group went south to the Dragon's Throat. Pegasus remained nomadic, making their homes in various parts of The Wilds in a migratory manner. For many generations, the land was peaceful and calm, but peace was never the way of the gods. With a clash of argument, war and bloodshed massacred Helovia, and in the aftermath, the realm was eerily quiet. Now, as newcomers sweep into this land, they are met with the lingering bitterness of the gods and the struggle to reclaim what was lost. Nothing remains safe or certain while sorcerers and soldiers alike brood and bide their time for revenge, honor and glory.
Site Wide Plots
Kaos :: The Beginning of the End ☼ - 6/2017 - Kaos placed Helovia in a time-bubble for a short period of time, but the Helovian gods are fighting back. But Kaos is powerful- far more powerful than anyone thought. This may be the beginning of the end of Helovia as we know it.
Kisamoa :: A New Kind of Kaos ☼ - 3/2017 - Kisamoa asks Helovians to help him restore the Spectral Marsh. Which side will you choose?
Invasions :: All Out War ☼ - 5/2/16 - New layout and the brand new invasion rules are up! Thank you for your patience and we look forward to getting started with this new adventure.
The Rift :: Gods Do Die ☼ - 8/2015 - Helovia Gods are saving the Rift from corrupt gods! Can Helovians band together against these foreign deities?
The Literal Ship ☼ - 2/8/15 - Oh no! You have to pair up for Valentine's day!
Sky Island :: Murder ☼ - 10/25/14 - Vesta has been found dead on the island, and the gods have called to you to solve the murder!
Sky Island :: Peace ☼ - 7/7/14 - An island has appeared in the sky! Clouds carry Helovians from the Veins to the sky.
Restoration :: We Welcome the Dawn ☼ - 9/21/13 - The sun has finally risen on this day, giving the land new light, but the Time God and the Sun God have yet to be seen.
Endless Night :: Broken Magic Plot ☼ - 8/30/13 - The earth god has returned and is walking across Helovia to heal the land. Every area can now be considered lush and prosperous, but the sun has still not risen.
☼ - 7/19/13 - The moon has risen in the sky, heralding the return of the Goddess of the moon. Lamp trees which light the paths have grown brighter, moon flowers which grow in dark places have begun to grow and prosper and the world is brighter, filled with a new hope.
Endless Night :: Dead Magic Plot ☼ - 6/22/13 - The gods of Helovia, in order to protect the world, have disappeared into the rift, leaving the world sunless, moonless and magic-less in their absence. Only the herdlands have a source of light, but lamp-trees with glowing leaves and branches sporadically line the popular roads and paths from place to place.
Doppleganger Plot ☼ - 6/20/13 - The God of Time is still struggling to close the rift though which the dopplegangers have come. He has requested that his brothers and sister assist in closing this hole, but without knowing why it opened, the task is proving difficult. Magic still remains faulty and hard to control, but the herdlands continue to be places of refuge for those who are fortunate enough to call these lands home.
ORANGEMOON cools off the lands with a a viscious force. Colder than normal, a sign of things to come during Frostfall, Helovia is bathed in a rich tropical lushness - albiet a cold one. The coastlines of the Dragon's Throat are pelted constantly by tidal waves, and the desert climate is humid but chilly. Ice begins to form early in the Aurora Basin leaving the winding trails slick and dangerous. The mists of the World's Edge coat everything in a glistening crystalline shine which encourages mould to grow everywhere. The Spectral Marsh is the only area which remains fertile, blissfully temperature and lush.
Cotm
Character of the Month for
June, 2017
WEAVER, Corporal of the Aurora Basin, is a relatively recent addition to Helovia and has taken it by storm. Branded with the seal of Death on her chest, intrigue and interest follow both her past and present. Though she is assuredly beautiful, her sometimes sharp personality reveals that there is more to this uni-peg hybrid than meets the eye. Proving herself able on the battlefield in the Basin’s warrior ranks, we can’t wait to see her test her mettle against the looming Kaos happenings! Congratulations!
Helovia RPG was created by Tamme and Blu and coded by Tamme also known as Schwartze. All coding, palettes and imagery are copyrighted to the website and are not for use outside of Helovia. Thank you to our ServerMaster for hosting Helovia. A special thanks goes to Neo for all of her coding help and fixing Tamme's errors, Boom, for her loyal service and creation of the Time God, and to Ali for her consistent contributions and dedication.
The shrines were offensive. Cathun stared at them with something akin to loathing reflected upon his face, spine rigid and the tail aloft in defiance. He had come to the south in search of warmth, peace and quiet, and while all of that came aplenty, these structures practically screamed out that he, despite the lack of souls around, was not alone. It didn't matter that they were toppled and damaged, overgrown and withering beneath the sea and the sun and the gnawing teeth of time and wind. The fact that they stood there representing a power greater than him, was enough to set his teeth on edge and urge bile to rise in the throat.
"Just what I needed" he said to the rock piles, eyes lingering upon one that had been blackened and scorched, twisted and melted by fire hotter than any dragon's. "More higher-than-thou knowitall immortals to get in my way. Why can't you just keep to the clouds and leave me alone?"
The stone, stoic and silent as all its kin, didn't answer. A gust of wind swept down from the north, cold and dry air that searched its way in beneath his thick winter coat and whisked the heavy curls forth to obscure his eyes. Cathun shivered and let out a sharp snort, not sure whether he was disappointed or relieved. Last time any god answered a plea from him it had only made matters worse; best not draw undue attention to himself again, even if different gods ruled here.
"You're all the same anyway" he told the shrines, turned and began the precarious journey back to the mainland. Curiosity had driven him out among the glowing blue rivers to begin with, and it had been an exciting adventure to search his way forth among bubbling lava and treacherous islands of black rock. But now the whole venture just seemed stupid, a reckless endangering of a life lived on borrowed time. The enjoyment was all gone, and as he went Cathun seared the air around him with foul swears every time he tripped, slipped or lost his balance.
Who cared what language he used. There was no one around to hear him anyway.
@[Ranjiri]
Cathun
The firebrand
» Magic and Violence is permitted at all times
» Please tag me!
"Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
When I made it to the Veins there was no one else around that I could see. I had no idea that only a few moments before someone had stood, staring at the same shrines that I had come to visit. My wings were tucked tightly against my sides as I looked at the crumbling rocks. Sometimes I wondered why anyone worshipped the gods that had placed those shrines there... but I still went there and I still spoke to them. "You took my brother." I murmured as I stared at the Moon Goddess' shrine. I would never understand her reason, but I think that's because I have a heart and I can feel compassion for others.
"And you let her... then you took my father." I whispered as my gaze slid to the Earth God's shrine. I could stand there forever and wonder why but it wouldn't do me any good. I looked at the other two shrines, but I had nothing to say to them even though they, too, had let the Moon Goddess murder. I know that I had stayed tucked away in the Throat while the Goddess made a mockery of Gaucho and used his body to murder.
I sighed then flinched as a voice cut through the quietness. I turned away from the shrines, my ears tilted forward as I listened to the curses. I frowned and considered leaving, but then I walked toward the path that lead down toward the land below and I could see someone walking down it. He would trip or slip and every time he did another curse would fly from his lips. As I watched him I began to wonder if something was wrong, so I started down the path after him. "Hey!" I called, but then I started to worry that I might startle him and make him fall. "Sorry..." I said as I got closer. "I could hear you up there... are you okay?"
They should have crossed paths earlier. Met up before the shrines, recognized one another for the kindred spirits they were. Similarities overshadowed the differences, and yet so far they had failed to notice the other, too wrapped up in their own lives to spare time for strangers. But whatever patience Cathun might have had with socializing before was thoroughly drained by now and he firmly believed that it was vain, foolish and selfish of him to think that he could benefit from any more relations.
So when someone called out to him from behind he did not swallow annoyance, smile or feign pleasantries. The short fuse he had left lit up like fireworks and consumed everything he had ever been taught about politeness, manners and propriety. It wasn't so much that he shouted at her, but every uttered word oozed with burning barriers, a noli me tangere louder than any of the things he actually said.
"Okay? OKAY!? Of course I'm not okay! I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm stuck in this bloody volcano swamp forced to answer stupid questions when all I want is to be left alone."
He swerved on the spot and nearly lost his balance again as hooves slipped inelegantly on the icy rocks, flaming eyes ablaze against the dark backdrop of the face. The equine didn't appear to even properly see the mare before him as he ranted on, too swept up in his own indignation to pay attention.
"Is it too much to ask? All I wanted was a chance, one single chance to be like everyone else. But that's just not gonna happen, is is, not in this place crawling with fucking gods! Are you one of those too? Crawling, bowing, offering lip-service and then shouting in surprise and pain when they show what they're really like; cold, callous, self serving, as if you really believed that they cared?"
The tail whisked back and forth over the black stone like an agitated cat's, sweeping dangerously close to the edge where glowing blue lava eagerly waited to consume the silken curls. A soft tintinnabulation of bells filled the air as though to paint a pretty counterpoint to the ugliness of his seething rage as he stiffly stepped towards her, apologetically suggesting that this wasn't really what the kid was like. Not always, not all the time. So maybe have mercy and avoid laughing him in the face, because his troubles were real and his fear tangible beneath the flaming mask.
If only Cathun were able to realize the core of the issue himself... alas he just wasn't mature enough yet.
@[Ranjiri]
Cathun
The firebrand
» Magic and Violence is permitted at all times
» Please tag me!
"Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
All I had asked was one simple question. All I had asked was if he was okay because I could hear him cursing all the way up the path at the shrines. A simple 'yes' or 'no' would have sufficed, but he felt it was more appropriate to stand there and shout at me that he wasn't okay. My ears tilted back and I frowned at him as he ranted about being tired and hungry and wanting to be left alone and how he was forced to answer my question. "You were not forced to do anything!" I snapped back at him, because I didn't care for his attitude when all I had asked was a simple question. I didn't think I deserved the treatment that he was giving me. "I did not force you to answer my question, you answered of your own free will. If you hadn't wanted to answer you could have just walked away and ignored me."
He turned and his hooves slipped on the rocks, but I made no move to help him. At that point I felt that if he fell and bruised his body and his pride he deserved it for being a jerk. He caught himself then kept his rant going, apparently feeling like it was appropriate to insult me in the process. I snorted at him and stamped a golden hoof against the rocks that I stood on. "Ever think that you're not getting what you want from them because you already are like everyone else? Selfish, self-centered, demanding, and disrespectful?" I asked haughtily. I was no advocate for any of the gods, the only ties I had to them were severed with the death of my brother, but I still recognized how powerful they were. I still knew how easily they could snuff out a life just because they could. I wouldn't put it past the Moon Goddess to kill someone for disrespecting her.
"Crawling, bowing, offering lip-service and then shouting in surprise and pain when they show what they're really like; cold, callous, self serving, as if you really believed that they cared?"
"Is that what you were just doing?" I asked. "Cawling, bowing, offering lip-service to them... probably all of which were false because you just want to get your way like everyone else. Right?" My tail snapped against my hocks and I snorted again as he stepped forward. "Why don't you ask yourself a simple question. Would you be inclined to help you?"
A part of him was delighted that she took the bait and retorted with almost as much venom. He wasn't sure what he would have done if she'd been all stoic and patient with him, but this, this was brilliant. The other part, the one that was spitting with fury at being talked back to, pulled no punches as he drew breath and retorted. Oh, right now Cathun wanted to squash this obnoxious little bitch, trample her wise ass into the ground!
"I don't want anything from those withered old bats!" he protested vehemently, eyes flashing at the very thought of bowing his neck to a god - any god. "I owe them nothing, I just want to be left alone! Hell, if I'd been left alone from the start then I wouldn't be in this bloody fucking mess in the first place!"
He drew up close to her, invaded her space until his chest was all but pressed up at hers, and the voice vibrated with intensity as he glared down at her from his superior height.
"Let me tell you what a god did to me, girl" he hissed. "When my mother was dying I asked for their help, begged them to spare her life. I said I'd give them anything, do whatever they wanted. I bowed and cowed and trembled, and you know what they did? "
He took a breath, trembling now with pent up fury - and the agony of the memories that came flooding, visions he had worked all his life to suppress and forget.
"They invaded my mind, took over my body and used my powers to lay waste to the entire land. When I woke up there was nothing left. Nothing except ash and ruins and the stench of burned flesh. Oh, their temple was still standing alright, and their priests were alive, but everyone I ever cared for was gone. And mom? She lay dead before my feet."
They spared her, the wretched demon had laughed afterwards, flame spewing from his mouth. She hadn't had to die screaming, set ablaze from the inside out, now had she? Able to see her son destroy everything, big and strong and healthy too, like she had prayed for.
No, Cathun would never trust any god again, and he would never ask them for help.
"I would never believe them even if they said they could lift the bloody curse. Selfish? Of course I care about myself, who doesn't? Who should I care about other than myself, when everyone around me is a fucking stranger? And let me tell you, respect is something you earn, not something that's to be taken for granted just because someone happens to have lived long or carry a fancy title. So sorry if I'm not bowing my head, because I don't see anyone that's worth more than me."
He gave her a withering look and made to push himself past her, intending to find another way off the peninsula - one that wasn't littered with girls.
@[Ranjiri]
Cathun
The firebrand
» Magic and Violence is permitted at all times
» Please tag me!
"Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
"Then why are you here?" I asked when he said he wanted nothing from the withered old bats that were Helovia's Gods. "If you haven't come crawling and bowing and offering lip service, then what? Did you come to antagonize them?" I didn't understand why he was so hostile with me. Or why he felt it necessary to get right in my face and bark at me like an overconfident hound. It took a lot to get me angry, but I found more and more that I wanted to knock him down a few pegs.
"Let me tell you what a god did to me, girl"
And he proceeded to tell me that he begged a god to spare his mother's life. He told me how he told them he would do whatever they wanted him to do then he complained and whined to me about how they took everything from him and left is mother dead. Had he approached me in a different manner I would have felt sympathy for him. I would have offered my condolences and tried to figure out some kind of way to make him feel a little bit better because I like to think that I'm nice. I don't like to be mean to anyone, but he made me feel like I was backed into a corner. He invaded my personal space, yelled at me, and disrespected me.
"You got what you asked for." Came my cold response. It surprised even me, but I tried not to let it show. "You said you'd give them anything and they took everything. Don't blame me for what you did." I knew that I would only anger him further but at that point I really didn't care. I was tired of being yelled at and disrespected by someone I didn't know. Really, if I had known that the day was going to turn out as it had I would never have left the Throat.
"Who should I care about other than myself, when everyone around me is a fucking stranger? And let me tell you, respect is something you earn, not something that's to be taken for granted just because someone happens to have lived long or carry a fancy title."
When he tried to shove past me I stepped back and spread my wings to try and block his path. "I listened to you now you're going to listen to me." I said calmly. "You think you're the only one who's ever been wronged by a god? You're not. My brother was murdered by a god. My father was offered immortality and he was still taken away from me by a god, but I don't go around verbally attacking anyone. Grow up." I snorted and I glared at him because I still didnt' care if I offended him. "Everyone is a stranger because you make them strangers. You had every opportunity to make nice and be friendly with me when I came down this path. The only reason I even came down here was becuase I heard you and wanted to make sure you were okay, but all you did was verbally attack me. And as far as earning respect from anyone ... you have a very, very long way to go before you even have an ounce of it."
My wings folded back against my sides and I snorted my disgust at the jerk. This time I made to push past him and continue down the path because I had nothing left to say to him. But... I guess in a way I did feel a little bad for him and I wondered if I would be just as angry as he was if I didn't have others that I cared about in my life... and one in particular that I loved more than myself.
It would have been easy to push past the girl. Just barrel on, push the large but weakly muscled wings aside and continue on. But he didn't. Instead he let her block his path, that inner voice mumbling reluctant praise, impressed with her spunk and courage. What might it be like to fight her, not with words but tooth and hoof, horn and rage? A mad urge to find out willed him forward still, not to push past but to continue the invasion of her space, to aggravate and push her buttons. She was a stranger like everyone else in this magic-tainted world, but even in the midst of his roiling anger he found her interesting. The way she stood up to him, how she spoke her mind, how the red eyes blazed in the light of the lava and his own snapping, crackling embers. She was beautiful in her anger, and Cathun found himself mesmerized by her.
"What do you mean here?" he asked, ears pinned in irritation. "How am I supposed to know that there's a fucking temple here, I have never set foot here before in my life. If I'd known I wouldn't have come within ten miles of the place, I assure you."
Her response to his revelations had been cold and cruel and the words still stung him, had him sucking in air through gritted teeth as though he'd been physically injured by them. He howled inside with the injustice, quivered as he struggled with the desire to scream in her face. But he reined it in, with great difficulty keeping his voice level - laconic, almost dry despite the roiling emotion that emanated from his being - and as she turned to leave just as he had, he mirrored the girl's choice and blocked the path, stepping in her way so that she would either have to stop or go around him to leave.
"What makes you think I want to - how did you say it - 'make nice and be friendly'? All that means is to feed the illusion that the world is a pretty place, and I'm not having any part in that. I'm not going to lie and say everything is alright when it's not, I'm not going to play house or curry favor with people I don't care about. You asked me a question and I answered it with the truth, and you will keep listening until I have nothing more to say!"
His lips curled into a nasty smile, one that made him flinch on the inside. She was right, he really was being a jerk. But it felt good to take it out on someone else, to spew out everything he'd kept bottled up. Like a rotting corpse it was festering in his mind, helplessness and fear adding to the mildew and mold that infested his soul, turned him bitter and sour and reckless.
"Why are you being such a good little obedient girl?" he taunted, hating how the storming emotions made him sound. "They killed your brother. They took your father away from you. Why are you even here, when you should be cursing their names and reject everything that has anything to do with them? Just because they're gods doesn't mean they're invulnerable! Take away their worshipers, topple their shrines, rescind all gifts they have ever made - see what happens. Why do you think they meddle with mortals in the first place? They need us, can't exist without us, or they will fade into nothingness."
"Even gods can be killed. Someone should turn the table on them, for once."
Cathun
The firebrand
» Magic and Violence is permitted at all times
» Please tag me!
"Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
My attempt at leaving was cut short by the jerk blocking the path down from the shrines. If I really wanted to I could have turned and headed back up the other way, ran until I got to the edge then jumped and flew away because then he couldn't follow me. But I didn't. I stood and listened to him say that he didn't want to make nice and be friendly because it was only an illusion that the world wasn't a bad place. I thought it was that messed up thinking that made him as bitter and angry as he was. "You're wrong." I said bluntly. "Being nice and making friends doesn't mean that you're pretending the world isn't as terrible as it is." I shook my head at him because I couldn't beleive what I was hearing. "If I didn't have friends I would have never been able to cope with my brother or my dad." I would be just as angry and hateful as he was and I didn't want to be like that. "I think having friends makes it a little bit easier to deal with the world and everything that's wrong with it because you're not alone." I didn't expect him to understand. If anything I expected him to spit more venom at me.
My ears tilted back when he smiled and then he asked why I was being such an obedient little girl. I didn't understand at first but then that I should be cursing their names and rejecting anything and everything to do with them. "I can't do that!" My eyes were wide and I shook my head. How could I reject anything that came from the gods when the one I loved the most was here because her father was a god? If I rejected the gods I would be rejecting Roskuld ... I couldn't do that. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I loved her too much.
And Toto ...
"My brother was a demigod... born from my mother and the God of the Earth." I said. "And my best friend... the other half of my heart is a demigod born from my aunt and the God of Spark." I figured he would hold it against me, that I was related to demigods ... that I was intertwined with them because I loved the children that they'd had with my mortal family, but I didn't care. I would love who I wanted to love regardless of what he thought. "I may not care much for the gods and I might not agree with what they do, but I won't reject them."
"They need us, can't exist without us, or they will fade into nothingness. Even gods can be killed. Someone should turn the table on them, for once."
I stared at him as he spoke and I found myself shaking my head. "You're wasting your breath talking to me about that" I said. My voice had taken on the cold edge it had just a few minutes prior. I couldn't imagine trying to kill a god. Really, I didn't want to. I didn't want to think about Ros' reaction if her father was one that was killed by some lunatic with a score to settle because gods in some other land did him wrong. I didn't want her to experience the same pain that I did when my dad died. If I had to fight him to protect her then I would do it without hesitation. "You're talking about murdering a mother and fathers... wouldn't that make you as bad as the gods that hurt you? The gods from wherever the hell it is you came from..."
He recoiled as she recounted the relations she had with the spawn of the immortals, the features of the dark face twisting. Yet it wasn't in revulsion as she might have expected. Why would he hold it against her, who already was a victim? No, it was pity that reflected so glaringly, towards her and towards the poor bastards who had been corrupted even before birth.
Like himself.
It wasn't their fault, no more than it was the fault of anyone who had been born with or exposed to magic through no doing of their own. The ones he couldn't forgive were the gods that kept meddling, and the idiots who - like he once had - entrusted their fate to someone else rather than so something on their own.
"So you're already trapped" he said, and for the first time since she had called out to him his anger abated, flames quieting in the burning gaze. "You're right, there's no use talking to you; even if you understood or agreed there is nothing you can do anyway."
He blew thickly through the nostrils, a sigh that was both explosive and weary. In a few simple strides - suddenly both elegant and graceful once he stopped trying so hard - Cathun stepped aside and turned away his head, indicating he'd let her go if she still wanted to. And why wouldn't she?
"I don't care whether they are mothers or fathers" he muttered, not looking at the girl as he expected her to scurry away as fast as she could. "I don't care if they've done something to me or not. They're still gods, they still meddle, and they will continue to drag mortals into their schemes as long as they exist. I wish I could kill them. I wish I could erase every last trace of magic in the whole world. But I can't, I don't have enough time left... "
Sooty lips curled into a bitter smile.
"Go back to your friends, girl, you who can. I'm staying as far away as I can - maybe I'm a self-serving ass but at least I won't leave anyone to mourn when I die. That is what I call selfish."
He stared emptily into the oozing lava, kept watching it churn and flow even as the eyes began to hurt from the brightness. The pain felt good - made him feel real. Reminded him that he was still alive.
@[Ranjiri]
Cathun
The firebrand
» Magic and Violence is permitted at all times
» Please tag me!
"Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
"So you're already trapped."
"Trapped by what?" I asked, a confused frown pulling the corners of my mouth down. "By my brother? Roskuld? My love for them?" I watched him as I spoke my questions. I tried to study his expressions, wondered what it was he was thinking, and if his opinion even mattered. In the end I smiled. "If you think that I'm trapped because I love my brother and Ros so much you're probably right. I'll never stop loving them. Never. And if that means I'm trapped then I'm glad to be because I don't want to live a life where I don't have someone to love."
My ears tilted forward as he moved to the side to allow me to pass, but I remained standing where I was for the time being because he started to speak to me again, claiming that he didn't care if the gods were mothers and fathers, and that he didn't care if they hadn't done anything to him. "So you'll hate gods you know nothing about just because they're gods? Why?" I asked, my head tilting because I just didn't understand. "I mean ... I guess you're right that they do meddle, but doesn't everyone?" And then he said something else that only furthered my confusion. "What do you mean you don't have enough time left?"
"Go back to your friends, girl, you who can. I'm staying as far away as I can - maybe I'm a self-serving ass but at least I won't leave anyone to mourn when I die. That is what I call selfish."
I couldn't help it, my anger was melting away and I was beginning to feel pity for the stallion. I watched him for a little bit, debating on whether or not I should approach him or if I should hold my ground. "My name is Ranjiri." I murmured as I stood there debating with myself.
"Mourning is the price of love." I said as my mind drifted to what he'd said about leaving others to mourn his death being selfish. Was it? I supposed in a way it was. "No matter how we fight against it the end is inevitable, isn't it?" I asked. "Our lives pass by so quickly, why not have them be filled with love and happiness? Yeah, we'll leave behind others that mourn for us, but we also leave behind memories to make them smile, that can make them laugh, something they can draw strength off of when faced with challenges..." At some point I realized that I was rambling. "Is the desire to be unselfish really worth being bitter and angry and miserable until the day you die?"
Without love and friendship were we really living our lives to the fullest or were we just floating along waiting to die?
She had an answer to anything. He found it peculiar that she chose to stay there and talk rather than leave him to be, as she called it, "bitter, angry and miserable". Perhaps she just wanted to be right, or she felt some misguided need to cheer him up. Ha! As if he was interested in anything this half-pint girl had to say! At least she wasn't yelling. Her temper appeared to have simmered down in pace with his own, something Cathun was immensely grateful for. Alright, so it might have been his fault that things got out of hand in the first place, but how was he supposed to know she wouldn't run off crying when faced with a raised voice? The women in this land was apparently made of stronger materials than he was used to - not that he had much experience either way.
She dropped her name rather than slip past him to resume the climb up or down the treacherous path, but Cathun didn't return the favor. Instead he rolled his eyes and made a sour grimace as she started prattling on about love and happiness of those left behind - it was just the kind of naive nonsense he'd expect from someone who didn't feel the winds of oblivion whip around the fetlocks.
"Easy for you to say" he muttered under his breath, resentful of the measured span of years that separated their futures - in his eyes her time appeared nearly infinite, close to endless. "Alright, what about my pain then? What's the point in letting people close if you know the time is finite? What kind of 'love' or 'happiness' could possibly make up for the bitterness of knowing that everyone around you has a future that you won't be a part of?"
The tail drooped on the dock, aching pain lacing through the words even though he tried to retain the same haughty, indifferent tone as before. Cathun hated to hear himself. He felt childish, weak, incompetent as he couldn't even endure the road fate had laid out for him with calm and dignity. Instead of accepting the inevitable and struggle against it like... like his mother once had, he stood here whining his ass off to a stranger who had no basis at all to understand where he was coming from.
Again he turned to leave as something constricted around his chest, made him feel choked and breathless. So stupid, such a waste of time! Instead of standing here whining he should be out there looking for a solution, a clue, anything - even though in his heart he knew there might be nothing to find.
@Ranjiri
Cathun
The firebrand
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"Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
"Alright, what about my pain then? What's the point in letting people close if you know the time is finite?"
"Isn't everyone's time finite?" I asked softly. My head tilted as I watched him and I listened as he continued on, asking yet another loaded question.
"What kind of 'love' or 'happiness' could possibly make up for the bitterness of knowing that everyone around you has a future that you won't be a part of?"
"Who said tomorrow is something that's guaranteed to any of us? I could die on my way back home or I could die a week from now or in six seasons..." My voice drifted and I guess I was starting to realize that there was something wrong with him that made him so bitter about the future. For as upset as he'd made me just a few short minutes ago I was beginning to feel sad for him. I wanted to ask what was wrong with him, why he thought his time was running out, but then it wasn't really my place to ask.
I watched him, took note of the way his whole body seemed to droop from his head to his tail and it only made me feel sadder for him. There had to be something more than what he'd told me before, about how his gods from his land had used him to lay waste to his home. To murder (like the Moon Goddess had done). No, I was positive that there was something else wrong, but I still didn't want to ask because it still wasn't my place.
"Wait!" I called when he turned to leave and I took a few steps forward then stopped again. "I...is...?" I frowned at myself, suddenly frustrated that I stumbled over what I wanted to say. "Is there something I can help you with?" I forced the question out. "I don't... I don't know whats wrong but I want to fix it." Because didn't everyone deserve to be happy?
She got it, and yet she didn't. Her answer this time was a good one but still only left him feeling more frustrated than ever. Like an elephant telling a mayfly that there was no need to worry, that they were in the same boat. Easy for the elephant to say, who had the potential of years.
Cathun just shook his head as he made to leave. He felt like he couldn't stand to be in the presence of such unyielding optimism any longer, and after spewing so much frustration over the girl she had to be glad to be rid of him. And good riddance too!
So when she called him back the colt stopped dead with an expression of the utmost surprise as he glanced back, an ear pricking in reluctant interest for the first time since their paths crossed.
"Help?" he said, incredulous once the stuttering words reached him. "Why?"
If he hadn't been so surprised he might have been amused, triumphant even that her tone had grown uncertain at last. He couldn't believe his ears though, let alone feel any amount of glee. Was she a do-gooder too, not just a know-it-all? Why on earth would she be interested in anything that had to do with him? Hadn't he shouted at her? Hadn't he spewed foul words, accusations and derision at her?
If Cathun had known it was pity that made her extend her offer he might have turned on the spot, because that would have been far too insulting, an humiliation too much to stomach. As it was he hovered there on the trail, hesitant and disbelieving, suspicion glowing like embers in the eyes, actually prepared to listen for once.
________________________
@Ranjiri
Cathun
The firebrand
» Magic and Violence is permitted at all times
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"Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
I guess I was a little surprised when he turned and looked at me because I expected him to keep walking. I knew I had gotten on his nerves because I'd had an answer to everything he'd spewed at me. But wasn't that how a conversation (or maybe it was an argument) worked?
"Help? Why?"
"Why?" I echoed his question and I guess I wasn't really surprised that he'd question why I wanted to help. I kind of figured if I was in his position and a perfect stranger offered to help me with some issue I was having that I would be curious about why. "...because I want to." I said, still watching him. I didn't want to tell him it was because I felt so bad for him because I had no idea what it was I felt bad about. I just knew the feeling and .... well ... I'd been subjected to his temper and words long enough to know that he wouldn't take well to pity.
I drifted a little bit closer then stopped because I still was unsure about how he would react to me saying 'just because' when he asked why I wanted to help him. "I mean..." And I hesitated again because if I could make any assumption about him from our brief encounter it was that he was volatile and prone to emotional outbursts. I wasn't too keen on being shouted at again. "I just want to help." I said, hopeful that it would be a good enough answer for him. "What's your name?"
He blinked slowly, staring at the girl for a long while as if he hadn't seen anything quite like her before.
"You 'just want to help'?" The words were slow, doubtful, considering. Something twitched at the corners of his mouth, a new kind of light danced past the gleaming eyes. But then he turned away and started walking again. The curly tail swayed as ashen hooves picked out the safest route amidst the lava streams, held carefully away from the flickering blue pools, and in the stern silence the scraping of chitin against rock was almost deafening.
Then; "Cathun" he answered, quite abruptly while throwing a glance over the shoulder. An ear flicked - not quite an invitation to follow, but not entirely a spiteful jab to leave him alone either. It wasn't as if he could stop her from coming after him, if she really wanted to, but he wasn't going to just stand there and idly chat along either. Cathun was sick of the place, allergic to the presence of whatever gods that might be lurking near the ruins of the shrines, and the heat and the glowing darkness was getting on his nerves. It felt magical, alive almost, and it made the amulets around his neck hum in annoyance.
He still doubted her intentions, was sure she wouldn't come. How could she help, a small girl no older than he was, naive and trusting and too optimistic for her own good. What could anyone do, really?
"You don't even know if there's a problem - don't bite off more than you can chew. Ranjiri."
His lips definitely curled this time, but whether from amusement or spite was impossible to tell.
Cathun
The firebrand
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"Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
"You just want to help?"
"Yes." I said with a nod because, to me, it was simple enough. He sounded doubtful and I guess I wasn't really all that surprised, considering how just a few minutes ago we'd been arguing back and forth about the gods and friendship and love. My ears tilted forward and I watched as he turned and started to walk away from me. I took that as a sign that he didn't want my help and wanted me to go away, but then he said his name and glanced back at me over his shoulder.
So.... he wanted me to follow?
Honestly, I was pretty done with the mixed signals he was throwing everywhere.
"You don't even know if there is a problem..."
"No, I don't." I agreed as I trotted after him, because I took that glance back and the tilted ear as an invitation to follow along with him. "But I have a feeling and I trust my instinct." I fell in step beside him on the narrow path that winded down to the fields below.
He told me not to bite off more than I could chew and I smiled more to myself than anything, because it was a little too late for that bit of advice. "I'll keep that advice in mind, Cathun." I said anyway and I glanced over at him. "But there is something wrong, isn't there?" Because he didn't deny it when I told him that I wanted to help him and he'd said that his time was running out in the middle of one of his rants.
So, she decided to follow. He couldn't say whether he was annoyed or a bit relieved and made no comment about it, just turned his head onwards again - the path was difficult to traverse in the dark and didn't really allow for distractions. Gingerly, gradually, Cathun guided them both on towards the mainland, pausing to hesitate every once in a while as the path split, leading off to dead ends and treacherous lava pits, or to steeply sloping edges that ended in frothing, foaming sea.
It was one hell of a place to put a shrine.
As he walked, he considered Ranjiri and her naive offer. He didn't trust her, because he had no idea who she was. A name and a first impression was all he had to go on, and she was asking him to divulge his greatest weaknesses. But, when push came to shove, what choice did he have but to be reckless? It wasn't as though he was getting anywhere on his own, and lately he hadn't even talked to Amaris, the only one so far that knew even a bit about his secret.
Cathun sighed, hesitated, then nodded reluctantly. Yes, he had a problem. That was an understatement. But how was he to explain the situation, the issue at hand, without sounding like a greek tragedy?
"I have... well, a curse, I guess you can call it, placed on me. If I can't find a way to repair this necklace," he tried, gesturing quickly with the chin to the braided gold chains and glowing, pulsating beads around his neck, "I won't live to see my fifth birthday. And so far, nothing anyone have done has been able to repair it."
He paused, sidestepping as the path widened to allow her up by his side - it was easier to talk that way - and glanced at her with blank expression. Had she any idea what it had cost him to talk about the matter so casually? Would she have any inclination of what a burden it was, to walk around knowing his time was running out?
"I don't suppose you're familiar with ways of restoring charmed objects." It wasn't a question, and his smile was dry and humorless.
Cathun
The firebrand
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"Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
"I have... well, a curse, I guess you can call it, placed on me. If I can't find a way to repair this necklace."
"A curse...?" The words slipped past my lips before I even realized it and I was staring at the necklace hanging around his neck. I wanted to ask about the curse, about who had cursed him but then I thought about what he'd said about gods and.... I supposed it was logical enough to assume that it was the gods that had cursed him. When he said that he wouldn't live to see his fifth birthday if he didn't get the necklace repaired I frowned. "...how much time does that give you?" I asked and I looked from the necklace to his face as I waited for him to answer my question.
"I don't suppose you're familiar with ways of restoring charmed objects."
I shook my head at that question. "No..." I didn't even know of anyone that could charm or enchant objects. "I've never seen a charmed... anything before aside from amulets." And I'd never even used one of them before so I didn't even know how they worked.
I guess I had bitten off more than I could chew...
"Oh! I have an idea!" I said rather suddenly and excitedly. "Just hear me out." I said because I knew how he felt about gods, he'd made that much blatantly clear. "We could go to the Dragon's Throat, where I live, and ask the Diviner to ask the Sun God about restoring the necklace. Even if he can't do it he could point us in the direction of someone that can."
She seemed appropriately taken aback by this and Cathun stretched himself up a bit, encouraged despite himself that it really was something to be seriously troubled by. It just wasn't the same to complain before people who shrugged as if it was an every day matter to have a deadly curse placed on you, fixed in a cinch and nothing to whine about.
"Well, I had my second birthday this summer..." he said in a nonchalant way, trailing off to emphasize how time was running away from him. Just talking about it was enough to make him realize himself just how little there was left, however, and the haughty satisfaction slipped off him rather quickly as he mulled it over. Less than two years. That wasn't even the amount of time he had lived so far, and what had he accomplished in that time? Killed his mother and half the citizens of his homeland, been locked up in a temple for what should have been the rest of his miserable existence. He'd been saved from that fate by his father just in the nick of time, then sent here once the protective charm started to fail. But none of that was good or grand or glorious, nothing of it was worth remembering or passing on to generations after him. In all honesty, the likelihood that he himself would pass on anything at all was growing slimmer by the day, and he remained as clueless as ever when it came to stopping it.
He sighed, nodding wearily as the girl confirmed what he had suspected all along. She knew nothing either. It had been a feeble hope, but somehow it hurt to have even that taken away...
"Oh! I have an idea!"
"What?" he asked, chancing a sideways glance at the excited tone. The last glimmer of that fading hope remained, quivering like a note of music in his heart, but even as she began to explain Cathun felt the tone sour and disappear, ruined by his own hardening features and the ears that flattened back against the poll.
"I aint going nowhere near any hoof-licking know-it-all priests!" he hissed harshly, stopping dead in his tracks as he glared at Ranjiri. "Didn't you hear me? I won't ask any gods for anything! "
Cathun
The firebrand
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"Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
It was a little bit of a relief to know that he'd had his second birthday in summer because that meant that we had some time. It wasn't like he was four getting ready to turn five, where his time was down to months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes. He still had two or so years to figure out what to do to fix it. And I'd already had an idea that I felt could work, but the trick would be ... well, actually convincing him to ask a God for help. But what other option was there? I didn't know of anyone that could enchant anything let alone fix something that was enchanted.
"I aint going nowhere near any hoof-licking know-it-all priests!"
See, that was the problem.
"Didn't you hear me? I won't ask any gods for anything! "
And that.
I sighed, my exasperation growing as I looked at him. "Do you have any ideas?" I asked rather pointedly. "Do you want to die just so you don't have to ask a God for help?" I'll admit that my frustration with him flared again. "Do you even want to help yourself? Or are you ready to accept your fate and lay down and die?" If that were the case then there was no point in me even trying to help him and it was sad.
He was going to let his pride kill him.
I rolled my eyes and I kept walking down the path. "Fine, don't ask the Diviner for help. Keep asking everyone that knows nothing about enchanted items, I'm sure you'll get somewhere."
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