In the weeks that passed since I watched my dad die I'd tried to figure out why. Why the invasion? Why the hate? Why the pain? I wondered what my dad had done that had made my Momma turn against him. Hadn't they loved one another at one point? I mean ... they had or I wouldn't be here, right? Was love really that fickle? Did it fall apart that easily? And hadn't your Ma and my Dad been friends? What changed? All of my wondering lead me nowhere. I was no closer to getting an answer to all of my questions than I was when it all happened. Maybe if I had asked questions I would know, but I hadn't wanted to be around anyone, I'd just wanted to be alone. I think being alone only made it hurt more.

I waited for you to say something. Anything. I wanted you to lie to me and tell me that it would be okay. That I would be okay, but you didn't say anything so I spoke again. "I don't understand," My voice was little more than a whisper. "What did he do? Why...?" 'Why my dad? Why not someone else? It was horrible of me to think that way and so I stopped myself from voicing it. I just couldn't stop thinking that first Hototo was taken then my dad. It made me wonder who was gonna be next. Momma? Cera? You?

I don't know how much time passed with me standing there staring at the ground and you ... I guess trying to figure out what to say, but when I finally felt the weight of your neck pressing down on me ... well, it was better than any lie you could have told me. I hadn't been held by anyone since I'd told Gaucho in the Basin about my dad's death and he'd let me cry into his shoulder. He'd given me shelter so I could cry in privacy (and I had cried so much) without your Ma looking at me or anyone else, and it had made me feel better, but I guess what I had really wanted was you.

The nip against my neck spurred me into motion, woke me from the stupor I was in as I tried to figure out why, and I pushed myself closer to you, pressed my cheek against your neck .. or maybe it was your shoulder. I wasn't sure because my vision was suddenly blurry with unshed tears and I was just trying to get closer. I needed to be closer. "Thank you." I whispered, because you were there for me when I needed you the most. I might have taken you some time, but you were there.

But I wasn't the only one that was suffering, it seemed. Being so close to you I could feel the change in your body. You didn't feel as bulky as you were the last time we were together. I was positive that you were thinner. "Why are you so skinny?"

"."

@[Roskuld]

ooc://
hope you don't mind me saying Ros is thin, in her little update thing it says she is