What a beautiful thing to behold, this life, a beautiful thing indeed that appeared to be nothing in comparison to the things I’d seen. I’d seen vast forests with long hanging limbs and snow-capped mountains with narrow valleys. Everything around me was beautiful, but nothing quite struck me as much as-

Well what did matter?

I supposed I was waiting for the right thing or the right woman to ultimately strike my fancy. Of course I’d seen a million ladies with their bay coats and their braided manes. I’d seen blue eyes, green eyes, and brown eyes. I’d seen tattoos and scars, bangles and bracelets… I’d seen it all. But I wanted something more. Yah, yah, I was a man of divine tastes, but what did it matter? I was always looking for love. I didn’t care what woman wore it upon her breast or her sleeve, I only wanted more than I had.

Offer me sensation and I would give you my all. Offer me courtesy and I would make sure you were the Queen of the land I was spiriting. I was a man always looking for more than I had and I needed someone to cure the loneliness I’d been suffering from. I, Atlas of a land too far away to mention, had been missing the warmth of a woman. I had been missing the warmth of someone who cared for me. Call it weakness or deception- I didn’t care. If you wanted a night, then so be it. If you wanted a week, it was something I could provide. But everything else was off limits. Everything inside was guarded and cold.

The shadows of the forest were long and inviting, and for the first time since I’d arrived, I welcomed them and their mystery. Carry me away,I thought to myself. Take me to another place where this feeling would be destroyed. I didn’t want it anymore. I didn’t want any of this. But I was too weak, too battered by the clubs that were life to avoid it any longer.

Helovia was breaking me down.

I needed to not-

-dammit… I couldn’t be alone.

talk talk talk

The winter winds still managed to find their way into the forest like ghost of the past. They didn’t bluster about as they would across the open plains, but creeped between the tree trunks as if looking for prey. Perhaps they were truly hunters out to torture their next victim… I for one didn’t appreciate their tactics and knew that I was the last of many who would fall to the season’s cruel embrace. Fuck dying from hypothermia. Fuck the cold.

In the time I’d spent mourning an idea that went just as swiftly as it came, I’d succeeded in losing myself to the shadows that made up this dull and vacant land. With only the trees and the spattering of moonlight to keep my company I felt somehow invisible or just suspended in time until the day itself returned to light the way. There appeared no point of entry and no path toward certain departure which obviously meant that I was lost. However, I was content with the idea of having no road ahead and no road behind… I was comfortable with my wandering.

Even as I weaved between the thick trunks of the pines, some mottled and misshapen by the past, I was compelled by the evident beauty of such a place. A man could become nothing in this empty wood if he tried hard enough… and the only frightening thing I’d learned of the Deep Forest thus far was that this was most certainly a way for a man to disappear.

My musings had provided the perfect distraction for a fellow wanderer to sneak up behind me when I least expected. But, he wasn’t the deadly monster I’d been expecting and more of a jolly ole fool who clearly didn’t care what I was capable of. What if I’d been anyone else? What if I’d been looking for someone to kill? This idiot wouldn’t know and he would have approached me in the dead of night just asking to be murdered. It was also sad to say that my spirits were instantly lifted by the sight of him (and my humor consequently restored). It was a good thing that he’d stumbled upon me instead of some bear or wolf or whatever lurked in the dead wood. Surely he’d be dead by now after trying to start a conversation with them, but he was just as lost as I was and I guess I could forgive him his stupidity.

“Or a bad thing depending on who you ask,” I replied with a faint shadow of a smile. This one wasn’t a pretty lady I could lure to my bed in the middle of the night, but he was company enough for me. He also happened to be the very first stallion I’d met since arriving in Helovia. No wonder I’d encountered so many fascinated females, I thought. Perhaps they admired my skepticism or just me in general. Either way, it was of no interest to me just as long as I wasn’t rivalled.

"Are you lost, too?"

Well of course I was. Did I look like some regular Tom, Dick, or Harry just frolicking about in these creepy-ass woods waiting to be killed myself? Of course not. “I wouldn’t call it lost anymore. You’re never really found here in Helovia if you want to know the truth,” I replied casually, as if I hadn’t been wallowing in my own self-pity only moments before. I couldn’t make out the boy’s features as well as I would’ve liked, but I could see the soft traces of white in his coat and the knotted horn upon his brow. That would have to suffice for a time.

Or until it didn’t.

Just when I thought I’d happened upon some brotherly company, it was quickly interrupted by this wispy female greeting that grated my nerves and piqued my interest simultaneously. Again I was confused by their jovial introduction… I mean were we not in a forest that could probably swallow us whole, never to be seen again? Or was I simply too wary? I’d like to think it was the latter, but I was also rather new to Helovia so that may have played a role in my utter confusion about it inhabitants. “Yes, hello?” I countered cautiously. The mare was also concealed by the robes of night, but I could clearly see, or rather hear, the clinking of some kind of trinket or another. Perhaps she was adorned in jewels or what have you, but I assumed that she too didn’t care what kind of creatures lurked in the wood waiting to taste a bit of her-

Well now, that took a turn for the worst. “And I’m flattered,” I hedged smoothly. At least they were the kind of folk that one could tolerate for a time. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if we were all lost together if only because my weakness in solitude made me somewhat manic.

With nightfall liberating the dark wood of any heat or comfort, I fought the urge to shiver against the violent winter wind. It was a biting thing –like needles pricking the skin- and it was honestly a wonder I’d managed to find anyone out and about in such unbearable circumstances. Hell, it was a wonder that I was trudging about in the Deep Forest so late in the night… I guess a lonely heart can rob one of any personal preservation, hm? Yet, it appeared that I was the only lonely heart in these parts –perhaps it was of my own culpability, but that was neither here nor there- because the patchwork stallion with his giant, leonine tail was certainly not as lonely as I.

His little maiden, though fair, seemed to appreciate his guardianship over her and when he flung that enormous tail about in some symbol of invitation, she came to his side like some lovesick puppy desiring attention. Cocking my head in their direction, I watched her approach and press her curious –Aqua? Blue? Teal?- muzzle into his (though not before giggling like some innocent schoolgirl who wore pigtails for fun). Instead of gawking at the lovefest like the sleazy onlooker I was, I glanced down to study my hooves and the snow that gathered around them. The ground was frozen and hard, and as I rolled all of my weight into my shoulders, I tried to refrain from being the complete ass I was about to become. Sometimes a man just couldn’t resist. “So, what, are you all lovers? Or just courting… or whatever you monogamists call it?” I finally questioned while looking up at them again. “I mean if you were looking for privacy, then by all means,” I reassured heartily while motioning for them move on.

After all, who was I to deny the man a shot at such an incredible lady (schoolgirl or not)? I mean, they were standing close enough and she was all smiles like she was hiding a secret that I wasn’t privy to. I hoped they weren’t planning on asking me to join… But there was always some ulterior motive to meeting those that went bump in the night, or hump given the right situation. Besides, what else was this dude trying to get at? We could find ourselves? Honestly? “I’m not sure I understand… but I only have one direction if you know what I mean,” I answered while looking at each of my companions in turn. Even the fair lady seemed adamant about my company… I mean if she -not he- wanted a romp in the woods- dammit, I needed to learn to control myself. I certainly had no desire to be a third wheel, I knew that much, and I was about to reiterate that fact before they both starting spewing complements about the damn Aurora Basin. What did they do to their citizens up there- brainwash them? I mean, that frightening little demon named Jorogumo had also tried to get me to visit.

But she didn’t really have eyes… so I guess it was fair that I’d declined, right?

Shifting uncomfortably, I nodded at Ashamin –as he’d named himself- and considered what he’d said about heading to the north. Well at least he wasn’t asking me to… -that was a relief. “I hear it’s a fine place to be,” I commented of the Basin. Of course, it would only be a fine place to be if I’d had any interest in living there, but then again… why didn’t I? I’d wandered about for this long and done absolutely nothing. I’d encountered a few friendly faces, enjoyed a few others, and now I was left to ponder the idea of possibly asking to join them. I mean, what would it hurt? The lovers seemed like an awfully pleasant pair, if anything… “Sir Flattered certainly wouldn’t offend me, but in my downtime I go by Atlas,” I smiled in response to the darling-of-a-creature that was the lovely maiden. “Well, if you’re in a position for company, I’d be delighted to join you… to the north,” I suggested with a slight nod.

We’d be like the three amigos or three peas in a pod, or two peas in a pod plus me. Either way I’d be on my way toward a new and exciting adventure.

Simple is as simple does and I’d always considered myself a simple man. It didn’t take much thought to be simple and perhaps that’s why it was best I wasn’t complex. I didn’t need to fester over intricate relationships or the politics of anything other than my own wants and needs. I didn’t care about the semantics of conversation or ulterior motives… I just was and would be simple.

It didn’t matter that Ashamin thought me a pompous ass or that his companion was just as muddled about all the things I’d presumed of them. I was nothing more than a simple man and there was no need to decorate what I was thinking. I guess that’s just how I operated and some time ago I’d learned to cope with how the outside world disagreed with it. If I’d had time to grow up as anything other than simple, I would have taken more initiative in the colorful world around me. I would have made an effort to perfect the art of chivalry or perhaps I would have desired a family… Sometimes I wish I’d grown up more complex like the rest of my species and not so separated as it were.

Even there, in the depths of a forest far too vast and shrouded in darkness, I felt suddenly bereft by the faces that accosted me. Neither of them understood me nor would they ever… In fact, I didn’t care what excuses they cared to spew in order to bridge some sort of understanding within their own minds. I didn’t care about their formalities or their mock kindness. Didn’t they know we lived in a world of complexity? They’d been trained to act accordingly and I… well I’d climbed another mountain. Where they were still working toward the top, I was staring down at them with a gallant smile. I’d perched upon Mt. Simplicity and ended up its namesake. “Friends, lovers, or strangers… they’re all the same,” I answered easily while looking each in the eye, one right after the other. “But, I’d like to go North. If that’s where you’re headed then I suggest we get moving, unless you’d like to remain here in the dark forest waiting for light.”

At that, I turned away from them both, my ears pointed ahead as if I were the sole captain manning the helm. Neither of those plucky little twats was going to step up anyhow, no matter how complex they were.

Once, I turned to regard them with lost, emotionless eyes and I wondered… Were they really so complex and I so simple? Or was I just the opposite of what I’d always believed? They did as they were taught and nothing more and nothing less; maybe they were the simple ones… but where did that leave me?

“Let’s go then.”