She doesn’t deserve his forgiveness, but of course he gave it anyway. Minimizing her sadistic plot and taking the burden onto himself. Alysanne felt like she knew what the guilt was that was churning in him - for it was the same in her. And then he was going further back into their history, apologizing for the very thing that had linked them in the first place. Who would they be now, if he hadn't had the compassion to take away her memories? “I do understand and I love you both all the more for the kindness you showed me. It was just…” She recalled the sick feeling of the betrayal, mingled so thoroughly by her love for both Iona and Miykael. “It wasn't so much that you had done it. Oh Mikey it was such a shock to remember what had happened. The things he did to us…” Clouded with time she couldn’t say for sure what had been an illusion and what had been real - but maybe she never knew and that was why they had done what they thought was right. Everything that had happened the past few years had been such a mess. Would they have been happier if they had stayed in Nocturne? If she hadn’t gotten lost in that snow storm and ended up here…

“She’s here, you know.” Alysanne didn’t want to think about the memories anymore so she brought up something else. “Iona. She found me.” A smile played on her lips at the thought of her sister - how it had felt to see Naerys lead her aunt into the Edge. At one time or another, everyone she had ever loved had been drawn to Helovia.

True to form, true to himself, when she started to fall apart Miykael was there to hold her together. She accepted his hug, burrowing her face into the familiar scent of his mane and letting his reassurances wash over her. “I hope you’re right.” She thought he was, thought he could be. Her green eyes swimming with tears that she continued to fight as he pulled back so they could look at each other. “She’s too much like us, you know. I’m afraid it’s going to get her into trouble.” A tentative, shaking smile tugged at the corners of her mouth with this joke. She had never realized how much her ability to give compassion freely might give those that looked after her something to worry about. Alysanne had always put others before herself but she rarely thought about the consequences her actions had on those that cared about her.

He was encouraging her to forgive herself but she was already shaking her head. “It’s so hard.” She could forgive everyone else but herself. Where would she even begin?

Even now her mind did not want to entertain the thoughts so it moved on to other things. “Do you think we can be friends, after all of this?” She pulled even away from him (her body instantly missing his heat) so that she could watch his face as she asked the question. What sort of friends would they be from this point forward? Could they move past this game of hot-potato with guilt, only they never wanted to pass it on - both she and Mikey would let themselves burn to save the other. Or that was how it had been, once. She didn’t even know what sort of friendship she could offer him now. But she would like the chance to try.