In a way, it was all Gaucho’s fault. Not the wild gods, or the spread of sickness, or even the internal spats between herdmates. It was Gaucho’s fault that Meg felt so terribly responsible for all of it. He had made her Sultana and instead of attending a meeting she was calling it, instead of taking orders she was expected to give them. Now so many eyes looked to her for answers, for decisions, for justice, and where was Gaucho? She was trying. Couldn’t they see that she was trying to rule her herd as well as herself, trying to tame her temper and fix her faults, and for them….All for them. Oh to be just a soldier again, what a wonderful thing that would be.

Laedere spoke her piece and as the Sunspear sifted through her extravagant speech she became more and more confused. Then gaucho swanned in, and even his presence did not bring the comfortable sense of solidity and calm that her Sultan and mentor usually brought her. His only words were for Ampere, his only focus was Ampere. What the ever loving fuck is the deal with those two?! Meg’s ears went flat and she turned her head as Einarr spoke, and then again to the blue for her sulky rebuttal. They were quibbling over some misunderstanding over a dolphin? And what was Ampere’s issue with companions? This was the big matter? THIS is what had reduced Laedere to a quivering wreck and Einarr to call for Ampere’s very position in the herd? Ampere had misunderstood, and perhaps she could have been a bit gentler once it was clear there was no hame done, but she’d done no real harm that Meg could see, yet this other mare seemed to terrified, so childlike in her panic, of course Einarr would feel the need to protect her. Ampere was a shouty bitch, that’s what made her a sister-in-arms for Meg. Einarr was the solid defender, that’s what made him… well it made him something even if Meg could not say wha it is or what she wanted it to be. And Laedere was just frightened. She could fell the steam rising in her lungs, feel the shout build as her fiery glare swept the assembly. If they thought this so damn import--

Ice-water doused her fire in one gut wrenching pull. She’d caught sight of Cera, standing away from the rest looking worse than she had ever seen him. The past months had not been good to her friend but this was something new. With the same black tar seeping from his nose and eyes like so many others, he looked more defeated and broken than ever. He’d attacked the goddess, she suddenly remembered, his grief ad rage and pain had driven him to that extreme and after that battle she had just left him there. She’d been keyed up and angry and had just stormed off to comfort herself in prayer and had left him, left them all to make their own way home.

A feeling she was not wholly familiar with crashed over the Sunspear: disappointment. Disappointment in her herdmates, who had brought these petty arguments and misunderstandings to her feet when there were bigger problems to be faced, when some of their own were so broken standing out of sight just behind them. Disappointment in herself, that she had not had the wisdom or the strength to be a better Sultana. As Ranjiri spoke, as Badger raised his voice to be added, Meg’s eyes found both and she gave each a nod and solemn smile. Thank you, she thought, but did not voice. Thank you for being a voice of reason. Resolve, to be better, to make them better burned in Megaera’s heart and for once it was not a spark, quick and temperamental and out of control, but and ember the burned and glowed and endured. She glanced to her right, where the eagle sat, and the bird gave her a nod, approval and the courage to be calm.

When the bay mare took another step forward, she wasn’t Meg. This was The Sunspear, Sultana of Dragon’s Throat and defender of her realm and her people. She stood, a solid foundation of stone and spoke with a voice that could command the wind, deep and passionate and unwavering. If it had to be a persona, if it had to be a guise that she must don for the good of her people than so be it. Inside she could be angry and fearful but that had to be Meg, the Sunspear could not suffer from such faults. “My family, our brother and sister are right. Helovia is facing something strange and unknown. What two of our gods have brought us is battle and sickness and if somewhere in their divine plan is a purpose to it, I have not yet the sight to see it. All through the night I stood at this fire and I prayed for understanding. I asked the Sun God why these trials have been placed at out door and I asked how to combat the monsters we face… All night I pleaded that he might give me the answers so that when I called you here this morning I would have some weapon to offer, some gift. He did not give me the answers I sought.” She paused, dark eyes moving to find each and every pair present. “I do not doubt our God of Sun, for I see now before me what he had already granted: this Family.”

“We cannot let our fear or our faults pull us apart, and I say that as one who has been as guilty as any. This is the Dragon’s Throat. We are a strong people but if we cannot rely on each other, trust each other, love each other, then we have nothing. If we cannot be a herd united then we are only savages, and i would not expect that from any of you… I will not accept that from any of you.”

Black eyes met the golden gaze of the diviner, and the Sunspear regard her curiously. “As I said, they should be treated with caution until we know more about them and why they are here. But it seemed to me that some fought their ill gods along side us, if they are truly just refugees than I ask you to count from our number that was born here… I was a refugee once, and I think that you were too…”

Then started with the Blue, turning her head to regard the lightning mare. “Ampere, I do not doubt your passion or commitment to this family, and I have counted you a friend. In regards to what has passed today there are matters I would like to speak with you about, but this is not the time. If we are right in thinking the east is where we might see more of these events if they occur then that is where we should turn our eyes; I will leave the patrols on your capable shoulders.”

She turned her eyes to the inky stallion who seemed determined to tear her apart, and wondered why he suddenly had such a horrid effect on her, whether he knew that’s what he was doing. She had never wanted to be weak, never wanted to be afraid or small or useless like her father had always said she was, but if she was, would Einarr defend her like he did Laedere? Why does that matter to you Megaera? Why does that matter? “Einarr. If you are troubled by Gaucho’s choice of Gladiator, by my choice, then it is your right to challenge it. None of the three of us would not shrink if you called for us at the arena, and the other two would not interfere but i ask you to think very carefully before you risk weakening our herd when we do not know when he may face next.”

Slowly she stepped around Einarr, casting a quick glance at the stallion and from the eyes of the Sunspear peeked Megaera. Please don’t hate me for that. I am not against you… I am never against you  She turned then to Laedere and drew upon the gentleness that thus far only Mordecai had ever drawn out of her. “Affa… Affa…” She soothed and reached out a wing to rest gently upon the mare’s shoulder. “Laedere, I am sorry that you felt yourself afraid and an outcast here, that should not have happened. I fear we may be as rough a people as the desert we live in but you may trust our hearts are in the right place. Do not fear that raised voices among this bunch spells your end…” She gave a small smile. “You are free to shout back just as loud.”

“Mesec…” As much as she the Sunspear talked of unity, Megaera was not a perfect being. She turned again and fixed her eyes on Mesec and had an edge in her voice no matter how she tried to hold it back. Mother, he called the Goddess…Darling, she called him. But she had known him briefly during the investigation of the Moon’s murders… had he known then? Had he played them all for fools. ”Dark wolf.” Gwaihir hissed in her mind and flapped from his perch on the wolf-god’s skull to Megaera’s back and matched her dark stare with his golden one. “I would ask you remain for a few moments when this meeting is adjourned”


"."
The Basics:
- For once Meg doesn't see Gaucho as a stand-in for perfection (I think this is a healthy comedown >.>)
- Meg has a minor internal crisis and compartmentalizes her life
- Gives a nod to Ranjiri and Badger for not being drama llamas
- Speechifies about DT being totally BOSS
- "Maren, slow down a bit on that xenophobia"
- "Amp, we're still bros, right? <3 (but maybe lets talk later about appropriate shouting venues)"
- "Einarr...... IF YOU WANNABE MY LOVER YA GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS! Please, for my sake don't start shit right now."
- "Laedere baby, we scare because be care."
- "Moonsnake, you better give me a reason to trust you......fast."

M E G A E R A
knock me out, knock me out
sayin that i want more, this is what i live for