"Where brilliance is good and madness is better..."
Helovia Info
Helovia opened in February 2012! We are an active fantasy equine RPG
Where once the world narrowed into naught but gray dust and desolation, the gods called for life. Wielding the elements of fire and light, dark and wind, earth and water, spark and time, they have created Helovia. The realm is set within the mythical globe of Loorien, a planet rich with all variety of creatures and blessed with all manner of magic. Originally populated by nomadic, tribal characters, they've since grown into massive empires saturated with culture and history. Separated into four distinct segments of Helovia, called "The Regions," each band of horse strong enough and capable enough, took up the power and responsibility of leadership. Unicorns, old, wise and mysterious, took to the north, hidden in forests of mists and shadows and rarely making themselves known beyond their cliffs of the World's Edge. Equines, vast, organized and militaristic, split into two, one group went north to the Windtossed Foothills and the other group went south to the Dragon's Throat. Pegasus remained nomadic, making their homes in various parts of The Wilds in a migratory manner. For many generations, the land was peaceful and calm, but peace was never the way of the gods. With a clash of argument, war and bloodshed massacred Helovia, and in the aftermath, the realm was eerily quiet. Now, as newcomers sweep into this land, they are met with the lingering bitterness of the gods and the struggle to reclaim what was lost. Nothing remains safe or certain while sorcerers and soldiers alike brood and bide their time for revenge, honor and glory.
Site Wide Plots
Kaos :: The Beginning of the End ☼ - 6/2017 - Kaos placed Helovia in a time-bubble for a short period of time, but the Helovian gods are fighting back. But Kaos is powerful- far more powerful than anyone thought. This may be the beginning of the end of Helovia as we know it.
Kisamoa :: A New Kind of Kaos ☼ - 3/2017 - Kisamoa asks Helovians to help him restore the Spectral Marsh. Which side will you choose?
Invasions :: All Out War ☼ - 5/2/16 - New layout and the brand new invasion rules are up! Thank you for your patience and we look forward to getting started with this new adventure.
The Rift :: Gods Do Die ☼ - 8/2015 - Helovia Gods are saving the Rift from corrupt gods! Can Helovians band together against these foreign deities?
The Literal Ship ☼ - 2/8/15 - Oh no! You have to pair up for Valentine's day!
Sky Island :: Murder ☼ - 10/25/14 - Vesta has been found dead on the island, and the gods have called to you to solve the murder!
Sky Island :: Peace ☼ - 7/7/14 - An island has appeared in the sky! Clouds carry Helovians from the Veins to the sky.
Restoration :: We Welcome the Dawn ☼ - 9/21/13 - The sun has finally risen on this day, giving the land new light, but the Time God and the Sun God have yet to be seen.
Endless Night :: Broken Magic Plot ☼ - 8/30/13 - The earth god has returned and is walking across Helovia to heal the land. Every area can now be considered lush and prosperous, but the sun has still not risen.
☼ - 7/19/13 - The moon has risen in the sky, heralding the return of the Goddess of the moon. Lamp trees which light the paths have grown brighter, moon flowers which grow in dark places have begun to grow and prosper and the world is brighter, filled with a new hope.
Endless Night :: Dead Magic Plot ☼ - 6/22/13 - The gods of Helovia, in order to protect the world, have disappeared into the rift, leaving the world sunless, moonless and magic-less in their absence. Only the herdlands have a source of light, but lamp-trees with glowing leaves and branches sporadically line the popular roads and paths from place to place.
Doppleganger Plot ☼ - 6/20/13 - The God of Time is still struggling to close the rift though which the dopplegangers have come. He has requested that his brothers and sister assist in closing this hole, but without knowing why it opened, the task is proving difficult. Magic still remains faulty and hard to control, but the herdlands continue to be places of refuge for those who are fortunate enough to call these lands home.
ORANGEMOON cools off the lands with a a viscious force. Colder than normal, a sign of things to come during Frostfall, Helovia is bathed in a rich tropical lushness - albiet a cold one. The coastlines of the Dragon's Throat are pelted constantly by tidal waves, and the desert climate is humid but chilly. Ice begins to form early in the Aurora Basin leaving the winding trails slick and dangerous. The mists of the World's Edge coat everything in a glistening crystalline shine which encourages mould to grow everywhere. The Spectral Marsh is the only area which remains fertile, blissfully temperature and lush.
Cotm
Character of the Month for
June, 2017
WEAVER, Corporal of the Aurora Basin, is a relatively recent addition to Helovia and has taken it by storm. Branded with the seal of Death on her chest, intrigue and interest follow both her past and present. Though she is assuredly beautiful, her sometimes sharp personality reveals that there is more to this uni-peg hybrid than meets the eye. Proving herself able on the battlefield in the Basin’s warrior ranks, we can’t wait to see her test her mettle against the looming Kaos happenings! Congratulations!
Helovia RPG was created by Tamme and Blu and coded by Tamme also known as Schwartze. All coding, palettes and imagery are copyrighted to the website and are not for use outside of Helovia. Thank you to our ServerMaster for hosting Helovia. A special thanks goes to Neo for all of her coding help and fixing Tamme's errors, Boom, for her loyal service and creation of the Time God, and to Ali for her consistent contributions and dedication.
Where Did I go Wrong? I lost a Friend... Somewhere along in the Bitterness...
It was so close to time for her to foal. While in the Threshold her contractions had started and progressively gotten worse over the next few days. What once was mild and easy waves now slammed into her body in painful and sharp jagged lunges. She couldn’t wait anymore. She had held off the inevitable for too long due to stress as it was and in her fragile condition, she might have made it worse by flying but that was no option to her today. No. She was in far too much pain.
Please wait baby. She begged softly. She had slipped from Temps gaze to try to find a place of quit to birth as she didn’t know the stud well enough although he seemed kind, it was like most mares to step away from the herd to deliver. Grunting with heavy breaths she pushed on. She felt like her heart was going to explode but she made it to a small, semi secluded area where she dropped to her knees and softly positioned her wings in a way that let her lay on her side. She felt so vulnerable and alone. Immediately she felt like she had made a mistake by not alerting somewhere to where she was going... but it was far too late for that.
Pain shot through her body in ragged waves that were as unforgiving as the ocean beating the coast. She let out a soft, painful cry as she pushed for the first time. Her thick nape was stretched out towards the small pond in front of her as she pushed in the shade of the towering tree. Breathing hard was an understatement at this time, she was panting furiously and bearing down with all her strength... but she felt something wasn’t right. She was getting too tired, too fast. Maybe it was the combination of running from her recent abuse, not eating enough and just the overall stress of not getting a good night’s sleep from the reoccurring night terrors that she had yet to work out. She pushed again, crying out louder as she felt the foal move further down and poke from her lady parts. Was he breach?! This was her first time giving birth, aside from the small foal that slid out without much pain earlier in this pregnancy (his twin). She had never experienced this level of pain in her life....
Deep down however, she knew she was in trouble. She knew she didn’t have the energy to continue this. She had tried so hard to make sure her body was well taken care of despite the circumstances and she cherished the little being in her gut so much. She prayed to the gods here that somehow she would find the strength to continue on and deliver this little thing. She lay there, still as her uterus contracted and she felt herself bleeding freely. She had ruptured something, deep down or split one. She wasn’t sure but she was dizzy. Her voice seemed so small, even to her "I’m so sorry". She felt tears streaming down her face as she started to lose consciousness.
Words: 570
OCC: Daww
Tags: open @tembovu will join after the baby is born to take her home
09-15-2015, 11:55 PM (This post was last modified: 09-15-2015, 11:56 PM by Brisa.)
It had been a long day so far but as darkness started to roll around she found herself unable to sleep. Laying down she had managed to doze off for only a couple of minutes before she woke to the same damn nightmare she had been having for years. The last year or so had been pretty good as the nightmares had seemed to go away but she had celebrated too soon it appeared. Pulling her thin frame back to her feet she headed out to try and clear her mind in the hopes of ridding herself of this anxiety. Aeolus was thankfully asleep by this time so slipping out unnoticed was fairly easy. She really had no idea where she was going but she just needed to walk so she wouldn't let this consume her like it had been for the first couple years of her life. There needed to be an end didn't there?
Passing thorough the meadow she lifted her head as an odd smell wafted along with the faint breeze. Not thinking too much of it she continued on until she heard a faint cry. Stopping dead she could sense that something wasn't quite right but what was the question. Pushing through the grasses off the main path the mare walked along with hesitation unsure of what might be awaiting her if she should find it. Another cry sounded from nearby giving her a better sense of where she was heading. Sniffing the odors that lingered around found her stomach clenching tightly as she recognized the scent to be a mare foaling. It had been a similar smell when she had come across Aly and her daughter as well as when her sons were born. Should she approach or let them be? As another cry sounded this time fainter than the last she was more confident with her decision to see what was going on.
Spotting the mare's figure laying in the grass she wickered softly hoping not to scare the girl too much. As she got closer he blue eyes scanned over the pegasus's swollen belly cringing slightly as a visible contraction rippled through her. That pain was something that she could not describe so she felt for the mare, if only there was something she could do to help it. Sadly the only way to stop it was to get the baby out if you had any chance of relief. Her eyes swept down to the foal who was just starting its journey, she had a little ways to go yet before she entered this world. "Its ok, I'm not going to hurt you or your baby."She said softly coming up alongside the pained mare. "My name is Brisa, you can do this you just have to be strong. I know the pain seems overwhelming and I am sure it is but you need to push."She instructed gently casting a glance back to the baby. Reaching out she attempted to touch her muzzle to the mare's shoulder to try and comfort her in whatever way possible. "I won't leave you if you do not want me to. You are doing just fine just breathe."
Where Did I go Wrong? I lost a Friend... Somewhere along in the Bitterness...
Breaths were ragged and harsh as she heaved again with her contraction. Her mind wondered off to Tembovu who had graciously offered her a home and somehow, she had froze in the threshold and waited too long and gotten lost and was now alone and exhausted. Her nares expanded and the pink inside shown up red as she groaned again, pain seering though her body. How the fuck did mares do this every year or two and happily? She couldn't understand why at this moment anyone would want this pain. Rolling upright, her nubby tail moving to the side she paused and she inhaled and caught a scent of another. Immanently her ears flicked forward and her voice, shaking spoke into the darkness "Tembovu?!". She was hopeful it was he, delirious she only really knew his face and somehow, he seemed to be trustworthy.
But from the tall grasses stepped a stranger and her auds flicked back as she was too vulnerable to even consider defending herself. Immediately her wings shot into the air to and hovered over her body and her rear as if somehow her feathers would protect her or hide the state she was in, but in just a mere second she succumbed to another rolling contraction and was laying on the ground on her side, wings withdrawn and this time, fluid - and lots of blood- expelling from her and two fores jutting out of her, following by a tiny little nose.
Her nape turned to see there was progress and watching the beautiful white mare approach, she could make out her words now. They were soft and a look of concern and empathy played across her features. She wasn't here to hurt her. She had heard the commotion and had come to help her. "Brisa" she uttered between breaths and smiled slightly. "Pain?" she paused and heaved again, this time moving the foal and actually making some progress. "No. Pain... Pain is tolerable this is..." Just then she felt a seering pain followed by trickling of hot blood. She had tore. The father to this foal had been much larger than her and she was now enduring this while the shoulders were being expelled. Screaming in pain and trashing, she tried to stand but was far to nauseated by pain and fell back on her side. Rape. She wasn't carrying this innocent life by choice. No, she had been forced. Hatred played on her face for a few seconds before she turned to meet the beautiful face that was hanging out of her.
She couldn't hate her baby. It wasn't the fault of the foal who was coming into this world. She couldn't blame the foal for the actions that had taken place. Bearing down again she looked up at the mare, her blue optics pleading to the white ess as she spoke "Please don't go. ". Tears streaming down her face, she pushed again and felt the babe move more. If only she had it in her to push just a few more times, maybe - maybe she could do this.
No one could ever imagine how much childbirth hurt not unless you had been there. Stallions always thought that they were so tough and could take anything life threw at them but truth was they would be whimpering on the ground like babies should they have to do this. Anyone who said otherwise was just to afraid to admit that they would fail. At the mare's anxiety of her approach she stopped briefly backing off a step with her head low and ears to the side wanting to show her that she was no threat. She knew what this girl was going through and being all alone must be terrifying even if this wasn't her first child. Her twins had been born far from home surrounded by danger but by some saving grace Torleik had been there to help her through it. Yes it turned horrible when he discovered he was not the father as her boys both had wings but they both knew there was always that chance. It still didn't stop it from hurting considering the only other option was long gone by now. Emotion clawed at her throat as the memories cut into her painfully knowing that she had been used yet again for another's pleasure. The first two years of her life had been absolute hell but to finally believe you had found somewhere safe and have that happen, it very well nearly destroyed her. Her heart sure would never be whole not with everything she had already lost.
Shaking her head she cursed herself for letting those memories surface when she had other things to focus on that were much more important. Leaning her head down she tried to prevent the girl from getting up so as not to hurt her baby. She couldn't help the small laugh that bubbled up as the mare made a joke about the pain. "Trust me I know exactly what you mean."She replied with a gentle smile. Once again turning to check on the foal she was pleased to see that some progress was being made but was a little worried about the blood also present. From what she could see the babe was on the larger side likely tearing the delicate walls as it struggled to pass through the smaller opening. If that's all it was she knew from experience that it would heal but would take awhile. Again her mind flashed back to her first baby as she felt herself freeze and the air catch in her throat. Her beautiful little girl... like Whisper's babe she had been much too large for her small weakened body to handle...she had come too early thanks to the trauma that stallion had caused her only days previously. She was still unsure if it had been the stallion who had caused her daughter to die or by some chance her fault. No! She couldn't go back to that day, not now.
Shakily pulling herself back she tried to hide it behind a brave face so no one would see her pain. "You are almost there, just a little bit more."She encouraged praying for the shoulders to just slip through enough so the baby could pass. She couldn't let anything happen to this poor girl or her foal, she just couldn't. "Just breathe alright, I am not going anywhere. I promise you that."She could tell that Whisper was starting to lose her strength but she couldn't give up yet. "Another couple pushes and you will be in the homestretch"Moving to her side she knew something had to be done to help to minimize how much blood was lost. Once the baby was clear it should stop right? That's what had happened with her... watching as another contraction took hold she reached out ever so gently to clear away the mucus from the baby's face. Satisfied when the nose and mouth looked clear she grasped the foals front legs between her lips making sure to shield her teeth so as not to cause any harm. Watching for the next contraction she pulled back hoping to try and ease the baby along and help her mother. Come on.. please.. Pulling back with more effort this time she prayed for this to be over quickly.
Where Did I go Wrong? I lost a Friend... Somewhere along in the Bitterness...
The sun had set and the moon was starting to rise now, flooding the field with a silver light as she continued to push. Her heart was throbbing in her head and ears as she tried to focus. Whisper kept losing time now and the mare in front of her, kept fading into the night. Delirious she thought she seen a shadow. Her eyes opened wide as she stared into the night, swaying under the gravity of her own weight. Panting she watched the mares pained expression as she moved around her. "What..." she uttered before she lost her breathe again and pushed, losing steam. She couldn't find anymore words now, she just wanted Tembovu to come find her now and drag her withered corpse home, or maybe to just die and rot here. The poor mare in front of her was tiring to much to help but Whisper was at the end of herself. There wasn't much left to give. She turned her nape in time to watch the long maned mare move behind her, and lick at the babes maw and nares to keep it alive. Warmth filled her being as she watched. This mare must be a mom, she understood. She had to. Whisper was in no shape to focus on her thanks or sentimental thoughts because another contraction, the biggest one yet, threatened to send her unconscious as she pushed with it.
Screaming, she felt her body give up but the baby didn't stop like it had before. It kept going, it kept moving. Grunting she had little strength to turn her dial but she heard the mares hooves digging into the earth behind her. Was she... Whisper nickered softly as she felt the gush of fluid escape from her womb and the relaxing of her muscle as the mare helped pull the foal the remaining way from her uterus. Her sides seemed to deflate for the fist time, the contractions stopped and she relaxed almost completely. Her heart slowed and her breathing slowed - but she couldn't feel the energy coming back, she just felt it was draining into the earth. She shut her eyes as she inhaled deeply and tried to concentrate on the here and now. Then she heard the mare move again - shuffling and pulling. Weak and shaky, Whisper lifted her dial and straightened her body enough she could sit up as the mare pulled the baby around close enough to reach. Whisper looked down in awe and then back up at the mare, with tears in her eyes "The gods sent you, didn't they? you're an angel... you must be"... She looked up at the beautiful fae with appreciation. "I will repay you for this. Somehow..." She whispered.
A deep realization festered inside her heart and soul as she looked down as the baby, under the star and moon light drew her first long breath and twitched and shivered to life. This mare, saved them both. If she had not come to aid, Whsiper would have not been able to push the babe out and they may have both been to far gone when Tembovu came for them. Looking down, she began to lick and clean the foal. She nosed under her tail and her heart swelled with pride and happiness. Warmth returning to her face and body as she looked down at her filly. The oddest color she was. White with grey patches and just then, she opened her little eyes to take in the night around her. Whisper grinned as she seen the babe carried her own hued pools. Nickering she licked at her forelock and watched, beckoning the mare standing beside them to join. "Please, stay?" she smiled. "Thank you... so much" she whispered as tears once again, came from her eyes. Looking at her newborn she looked up at the night sky "Astra..." she whispered to the little filly. "Astra, welcome to Helovia". Looking up she scanned the grasses as she felt her body displace the placenta. Tembovu... she thought to herself... must be worried sick...
The elephant had left the threshold, assuming that the gravid mare had chosen to seek a home with the other pegai that had greeted her. Concern and apprehension settled in his barrel as he had walked away from the threshold— he hadn’t wanted to leave Whisper. He had at least wanted to provide some protection, or reassurance, to her.
Suddenly he freezes, his large head flying up. Had he heard his name? Ears perk as he searches the dusky light. Does he hear murmurings, or is it just the diurnal creatures preparing for bed and nocturnal creatures preparing to rise?
A piercing scream answers his question. A surprised and easy snort escapes him as he turns on heel and lopes back towards the source of such a pained noise.
Dread dropped out the bottom of his stomach as he saw the great, quiet mare laying on the earth. Another vaguely mare— Brisa?— was standing beside her. A slight bit of relief washed over him, at least she had not been alone. But was she okay?
He increased his gait, great mass thundering towards them. Though he slowed a little bit a away so as not to frighten the new mother and babe too much. Straining ears and eyes catch the thanks and naming Whisper says and sees that she is, in fact, alive and breathing. As is the foal, this little (or rather large) ‘Astra.’
“Whisper, had I know you were following me, I would have waited,” his deep voice rumbles gently as he approaches, dropping his head to her and the new foal. Since the time to give reassurance for labor is past, he simply gently touches the crest of her sweat-slicked neck, a calming and congratulatory gesture is all he can offer now. His warm breath clouding and mingling with the steam rising from Whisper.
He pulls away from the roany dam, deep blue eyes falling on the still wet newborn. His gut stirs, for indeed the little life is so fragile, so helpless, so astoundingly alive. A small grin lights his face, “Astra is a fine name,” his voice softly rolls. He is unable to help the draw he feels towards the small life.
Slowly he reaches his head—which is about the size of the babe— towards Astra, nuzzling it’s side, ensuring that it’s precious heart was beating and tiny ribs were moving with breaths.
But then he remembers himself, for Whisper might not want him nosing her child, “Sorry Whisper. I’ve a soft spot for foals,” he grins apologetically as he takes a step back away from the down mare. Raising his head he turns his attention to Brisa, whom he had woefully and rudely ignored until this point. He nods his head in greeting, face and words warm, “Hello, Brisa. Thank the gods you were here to help Whisper. I am in your debt.” He smiles as his deep gaze meets her own.
09-16-2015, 08:43 PM (This post was last modified: 09-16-2015, 08:45 PM by Brisa.)
After what seemed like hours of pain and suffering both for the poor pegasus and her own emotional health a wave of relief washed over her as the foal finally slipped into the world. Releasing her hold upon the babe's legs she instinctively moved back to cleaning off the foal's face to ensure that it would be able to breathe. It took a minute or so before all her annoyance seemed to be registered by the baby as it tried to shake its head completely unaware of where it was. Knowing first handedly how exhausted its mother would be after all that work she once again gently grasped a hold of the front legs sliding it away from majority of the mess and up alongside its rightful mother to make it much easier for her to see her lovely little girl. A pang of jealousy sparked as she watched the two interacting for the first time but she knew this was not her place or her baby for that matter. Her heart longed to experience the joy all over again but with the way things were going she doubted that another chance would arise much to her sadness. Losing Levex and her daughter had left deep wounds that still seemed to bleed and no matter what she did nothing seemed to help. Aeolus was her life yet she still felt horrible that even despite having him and loving him with all her heart that void still wept painfully.
Taking a step back from mom and babe to allow them this chance to bond she couldn't force herself to go very far for a piece of her was very attached to this pair already. Restraining herself with difficulty she managed to submit to just watching this incredible moment tears of joy brimming upon her eyes. Flicking her ears around in careful observation to ensure nothing snuck up on them she cocked an ear forward as the pegasus began to speak. Those words meant more to her than anything to hear but she was no hero. This had been made possible due to the filly's strong mother who refused to give up on her child. She had merely helped things along and given a few words of encouragement. "There is no need to repay me really, just seeing you both happy and healthy is more than enough."she said with a smile. "You did all the work, I really did nothing that impressive."Laughing softly at her own words she watched the filly with complete adoration. How could anyone not be in love with such a pretty little girl.
Being asked to stay was an honor and she sure wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon if she could help it. Hearing the name chosen for the girl she couldn't agree more for it seemed perfect and very fitting." A very good name for such a darling girl."Caught up in the scene before her it took a minute for her to clue into the crunching of feet until whatever it was was nearly on top of them. Pinning her ears to her skull she stepped between the intruder and mother and child, whoever dared try anything would have to go through her first. Feeling the warmth spread rapidly across her skin she knew that her blue flames had come to join the party. Ice coloured orbs snapped to the sounds only to find a familiar face approaching them. The stallion she had met not too long ago was the culprit but from what she knew he was no threat to them. Calming her frayed nerves she felt the flames die down as quickly as they had formed the grey let her ears return to a more natural state. What was he doing here?
Taking a few steps back to let the two talk she easily entertained herself watching Astra begin to discover the world piece by piece. Only when she heard her name did she look up to Tembovu. Smiling at his kind words she dipped her head in appreciation as she spoke."I was glad to be of some use for once. I'm sorry about almost snapping at you."A warm laugh followed trying to cover up her slight embarrassment. Something about witnessing this miracle must have brought out the protective mother side of her.
Where Did I go Wrong? I lost a Friend... Somewhere along in the Bitterness...
Whisper couldn't help but watch the brilliant white mare as she moved and looked at the new babe before her. She was so attentive, caring and alter to the new life. In any other setting, Whisper might freak out and go ape shit on the newcomer but she knew she was pure of heart and after everything she had just done to help to her and hew little Astra... No. Whisper wasn't going to let a single nasty thought play in her dial. She was far too grateful and in debt to this beautiful mare. Bri's mother instincts were amazing to watch, even as Whispers were taking over. She watched the Ess tend to the foal as if it were her own, before stepping back and letting Whisper take over -but staying well in reach so as if anything were to happen she was just a step away. Whisper watched as Astra grunted and flung her dial as both mares licked at and cleaned the white life. Astra was very large to be so new and Whisper knew in her heart, that Astra was going to be much taller than her on account of her massive father.
--- Floppily flicking her auds back she grunted as her eyes parted to look at the world around her. A giant white ball hung above her dial somehow floating around them all, illuminating them in a silver hue. She felt her legs quiver under her as she looked about helplessly. The one voice she knew and had heard for as long as she could remember hearing from the muffled walls of the womb but the other, was new. Grunting she tried to flick away the new sensations all over her. Warm, damp tongues and lips played with her white curly hair and all she wanted to do was sleep but someone deep inside told her to get up. Her belly gurgled to life as she opened her eyes wider to see something the same color as the ball floating and shining on them, standing in front of her. It wasn't the voice she knew but it sounded nice. She turned her neck awkwardly and looked at two giant blue eyes and a long nose coming right for her. These lips muttered noises she was use to. Imminently she took in the scent of this being and focused on every feature of her face. Her cool blue eyes, were somehow warm and tender. Her ashen lips were soft and loving. Her voice was lulled and hushed and soothed her soul. Astra nickered towards the being and knew deep down, this was someone who was going to mean a lot to her, from now on.
Awkwardly placing her legs in front of her, she shifted. She needed to find out why her guts were growling and rolling. Her lips smacked as she tried to focus on the task at hand. Inside mom, her legs weren't ever this long or at least they never seemed to be. Looking down she breathed in deeply and squared her back legs under her before pushing up - too hard. She flopped forward on her face and then suddenly, there were more white legs moving faster and standing over her. Squeaking she shifted as she felt her mothers warmth pull away from her. She was alone in the grass..
---
Whisper watched as Astra tried to stand, nickering encouragement but suddenly Bri's gaze hardened and Whispers heart froze. She looked at the mares ears as they pinned and without hesitation, the huge draft mare followed the ess's gaze and heard the leaves rustle and move. Quickly Whisper was on her feet, her wings spread over the new life on the ground and her own auds pinned flat on her skull. Warm and tender glance was turned cold and calculated in a moment notice and her heart lept in her chest surging some new found energy to her. Alarmed she stepped to the side as the white mare pushed in between the intruder and Whisper hiding Astra and then something odd happened. The white mare lit up with the most beautiful blue flames and pin pointed the intruder. Whispers mouth dropped in awe. This mare was magical! Not like a normal horse at all! Then it dawned on Whisper, she was far too beautiful to be just a horse - perhaps she had something else in her lines. Blinking she tried to focus on the new comer and then it flitted into her mind just as her eyes spotted him.
"Tembovu!" she exclaimed as she and the white mare relaxed. Bri must have known that he was no harm. From their exchange, she gathered they knew one another. Grinning she relaxed her wing and withdrew it to show the large stud what she, with the help of her new friend, had accomplished. His eyes lit up like nothing she had seen and her heart skipped in her chest. She loved to watch others dance with emotions but something about this strong and caring brute, she took a liking to. She didn't know exactly how but she knew he was a friend and she wanted to stay close to him - and Bri. Grinning she touched her nares to his shoulder as he nudged around on the new life, who was still trying to figure out her legs. Watching Bri and Tembovu both, she smiled. "I have made some beautiful new friends today... I am in debt to you both!" she said softly, in her usual tones. Shifting her gaze she nudged Astra in the haunches as the foal pushed forward once more and this time, stood splay legged looking at everyone with a rather curious glare. Carefully Whisper folder her large wing around her and carefully shuffled her to her belly where Astra quickly found and quenched her thirst. Standing there she signed in contentment and looked at Bri "So, I don't think I have even had the chance to properly introduce myself.. I am Whisper... I was on my way to Tembovu when you found me. I waited too long to follow him from the Threshold and apparently got lost and well, you know the rest" she chuckled softly as she looked at Tembovu- delighted suckling sounds coming from Astra who was quite as mouse and still standing splay legged behind her mothers wing. "I take it, you two know one another?" she questioned softly, looking at them both.
The elephant pulls back as the flames leapt along Brisa’s body. He had no idea she had magic. He watches the little one toddle on her too long legs, all knees and hocks and ungainly movements. He glances up at Brisa as she speaks— helpful for once? A slight frown creases his brow at her self deprecating statement.
Though his gaze is drawn back to the foal once more, and the frown smooths. For who can resist the sight of a newborn? And who can remain unhappy while watching it stand to nurse? Certainly not the behemoth.
He speaks to Brisa, though his warm blue gaze stays on Astra, “No need to apologize, I’m glad you were here to help protect little Astra,” he pauses, weighing words, “And I’m am certain you are more useful than you know, Brisa,” blue gaze glances at her, a mixture of reproof and concern, before snapping back to the foal beneath Whisper’s wing.
Ears flick towards Whisper as she voices a question. He lowers his head once more, to Astra’s level, as he answers the new mother, “Yes, we briefly met in the very meadow when I was new to Helovia. Though I did not know of her magic— very nifty, Brisa,” he glances and smiles at her. Once again, his attention returns to the nursing filly, his eyes now at her level. Part of him wants her to end her first meal so that he might see her, though another part of him (a slowly awakening paternal part) wants her finish her first meal entirely.
Though he is immersed in the warmth and happiness of a new foal, there is a sadness weighing in his barrel. Similar to the sadness that clings to the back of Brisa’s blue eyes as she looks at Astra and Whisper. The loss of a child gives a weight to the soul— and one always recognizes that burden in another.
It was amazing how wondrous new life was and the happiness that it could bring to so many people. As the three of them stood around little Astra she couldn't help but watch as she took her tentative first steps only to fall multiple times before finally getting a handle on her new stilts. By now she was set on a mission to fulfill the problem of a grumbly belly and receive the first taste of her mother's milk. Her colts had done the same thing but with a little more delayed timing considering there were two of them. In the beginning the two of them would constantly trip over each other or just happen to wobble into the other starting a chain reaction. Her first born had been the first to stand and the first to accomplish many things with his brother trailing along behind him. She had known from the beginning that Aeolus was a little delayed but after a month or two you would never know there had been a problem. In a way she wondered if it had been caused by the lack of oxygen during the first minutes of his life when she had been literally too drained by the second labour to even lift her head. If not for Alysanne and the rest of those who had been present she would have lost him before his life even began.
Flicking an ear to the giant (well compared to her that was) she listened to both Whisper and Tembovu expressing their gratitude yet again. A small smile formed upon her face as she nodded much appreciative of the kind comments that were always few and far between with her. Turning her eyes to the stallion she regarded him with slight confusion as he continued say she was likely more useful than she thought she was. If only that were the case.. The only thing she had been useful for is a pawn for others to push her around and do as they wished to her. The first two years of hell had been like that and then arriving here only to have Note do just the same, was she good for anything else?"Mmm perhaps."She replied with a head bob hoping to hide the pain she was feeling deep down. Somehow she felt as if the stud had a greater meaning to his comment rather than the words he had actually spoken aloud. Studying him for a minutes she finally tore her eyes away only to turn them back to Astra and Whisper.
Returning the smile as a comment is made regarding her magical ability she feels heat rush to her face and pull her eyes to the dirt. She was so unused to compliments that each and everyone always caught her by surprise making this her normal reaction. Thankfully her face was unable to turn the shades of pink that would likely be there if she were any other species."It is rather neat and can be useful sometimes should I use it."She replied forgetting how good it felt to have the fire consume her to create almost a miniature barrier between herself and the world. It had been so long since she had felt it rise in her veins that she almost forgot what it felt like. Sometimes her magic didn't exactly give her a choice whether or not to use it but thankfully she had done a decent job of keeping it contained. s
Where Did I go Wrong? I lost a Friend... Somewhere along in the Bitterness...
Slurping at the teat under the giants large wing, she giggled out loud as a burp tickled her mouth and escaped. Stumbling backwards, she squinted her little blue eyes and looked up - at everything around her. Momma had giant things hanging at her side, that were warm and comforting around her little body and the other two beings - they did not. One had something twisting out of his head and the other was a brilliant color, like the thing hanging in the sky. She didn't know what anything really was and at this time in her very new life - it didn't really matter because she was full and warm. Nickering she wobbled out towards the biggest thing out of all in front of her. She stuck her little ashen nose right to his trunk like legs and sniffed deep. He didn't smell like mom. He didn't smell like anything but himself. She looked up at him and warmth filled her little body from his eyes. She saved that to her new memory. Looking at him made her feel like mommas wings. She sneezed and sat on her rump, tilting her dial back to look at the solid colored one that did smell kinda like momma. She ended up falling straight back, between her legs and she looked up at her face, comparing it to the giant white ball in the air and grinned a toothless grin and nickered again. She smelt like momma and made her face move (smile) and her heart dance. She saved her and her smell, deep inside her mind under 'things that mean something'.
Standing more easily she hopped straight up in the air and bumped her butt in the air. She felt so free. The womb was so restricting and cramped but here, now... she could move and hop and she stopped and looked down at her little grey hooves. She was standing in something and it made her feel unpleasant but at the same time, it was funny to watch. Reflections played on her chest as she stomped her front feet in it. Snorting as the water hit her in the face. It did NOT taste good. In fact, it didn't taste at all. It was cold and gross and she wanted more of mums warm, sweet milk but her belly was so... cramped feeling. She looked at everyone and in between the towering legs she flopped lazily down and yawed a big, pink toothless yawn and within a few moments - everything was fading away as she dream of bright blue eyes, rumbling kind voices and tender kisses from the solid colored mare that smelled like mom.
-----
Whisper watched as Astra moved around, innocently. Taking it all in she almost missed the words from the other two. She was exhausted, but the company was so good she didn't want to go to sleep just yet. Her smile turned into a half hearted one as she could hear a tone cross Tembovus voice and something else, pain and loss, flash in his eyes. It mirrored that of Brisa and Whisper stopped smiling all together. "I cant help but feel like somehow fate has brought all of us together... as if the gods played a hand in this" she paused and sucked in air as if something had hit her in the chest. "I am so thankful for Astra, but she almost never was..." she trailed off as hot tears started to creep into her eyes and she couldn't take it anymore. Violent shivers ran down her spine as her legs quivered under her as the memories played openly across her eyes and face. As if the ghost of the tiny body was laying in front of her she turned her dial and squeezed her eyes shut tight and willed the thoughts to stop- but they didn't. "Astra ... she is so special and so alive that I almost forget the hole in my chest from losing the one who shared the same womb as her" she shook her dial as the tears rolled down her face, her blue eyes glinting, reflecting her now sleeping daughter in them. "I wasn't far along, but he... He didn't know that I was carrying two and when he hurt...." she choked and stepped towards Tembovu and Brisa both "It was him who gifted me this daughter and that evil will not take away the love I have for her. Ever. She is to be cherished forever and her brother will never be forgotten because of the nameless demon that betrayed me". Her eyes stopped leaking and she sucked in a breath and reclaimed the moment - feeling guilty that this innocent time had been tainted by such a violent play of her past.
Regaining composure she leaned onto the large stallion and inhaled his smell as her daughter did. "Im sorry for speaking so... darkly. I had never told a soul and this was the first place I have been since it happened. You both are the first faces I have seen that cared enough to stay... My heart is hurt but I know Astra... oh she is so much more than I could have ever dreamed" she stopped and pressed her large dial into Tembovu "And you, I feel safe around you and at ease and I haven't felt that way in years. I feel like I have my brother back" she paused and looked away, locking that memory into her chest before it overflowed like the one before it. She looked at Brisa and smiled, throwing her wing over the beautiful white mare "Such a darling soul you are. A genuine being who I am afraid, has been hurt and damaged far too much... a diamond in the rough dear. A sister to me, if I ever had one" she smiled and looked at them both - letting Tembovu have some room after her emotional moment, taking her place on the earth by her daughter who was making Whisper grin with her sucking sounds in her dreams. Folding her legs , she fell softly on the earth and looked up at both the two before her, hoping they would both bed down here or at least stay a while longer and maybe keep her mind busy until it was relaxed enough to rest.
Deep blue eyes watch the little white filly approach him. At the feather-like touch against his thick columns of legs, he blinks slowly. The feeling is alien and familiar all at once. He is caught, stuck in memories. But these memories are not the usual hellhole that he finds himself spiraling down. There is no smoke, no burnt bodies, no stench of charred flesh.
No, instead there were small, bright green eyes- from his mother, not the elephant. A face without markings, unlike his parents. A band of black ran along his downy tan sides, and his knees were ashen- promising to turn black with age. His belly was grey- a promise of white to come. All slender legs, he was bound to have his father’s height but mother’s grace. Two cowlicks on his forehead hinted at two horns, not one. This had surprised the elephant, for two horns were rare in Dorobo.
Gently shaking the memory from his eyes, he reached out his broad muzzle to just catch the side of Astra as she left is legs and approached Brisa. Vaguely, through his visions of his dead son, he hears Whisper speak of ‘fate’ and ‘gods.’
The face of his son’s mother swirls behind the lids of his slow blinks. Large green eyes, an elegantly pale face masked with two slender, black lines from her eyes. Golden with cream, soft belly. A striking, mocha slash on her sides. She reaches her pale muzzle, urging the foal to nurse- “-when he hurt” these words shatter through his reverie. Gaze snaps open, aimed at Whisper.
His is still, so statuesque, as Whisper continues. From anger? Or fear of the darker memories that threaten? It is difficult for even the stallion to know. She speaks lovingly of her foal, as she should. She calls him a brother- pride? Happiness? Some warm emotion flashes through him, helping light the dark spiral which threatens to pull him. Turning her warm words to Brisa- the mare that deserved them so greatly for aiding Whisper in her foaling- she sank to her knees. Tembovu watched, still silent, as she lowered her great bulk to rest.
He knew this feeling, he could feel the fire roaring in the bottoms of his ears. It took so long to escape this hole, so much sweat and blood and effort to climb his way out. That is, until his unseeing eyes fell on Astra once more. Again, a that warm flash sparked through him- illuminating the shadows behind his eyes.
He grabbed onto the light, still watching Astra, willing it to warm him. He was so cold, despite the constant burn of rage. That fire, of revenge, burns by igniting the soul of a man, consuming it, leaving nothing but cold, blackened ash behind.
But this warmth, this heat from the beauty of new life, burned brightly and illuminated the spirit. It created more, it gave life, gave purpose. When the elephant had lost this light so long ago, he had tried to recreate it by igniting his revenge. But this had left him empty, alone.
Slowly, he was beginning to realize this.
Progress.
Finally (had it been seconds? minutes? hours?) he speaks, his voice rough from the tumultuous revelations alighting in his brain, “You are right to cherish the life you have created. For, though I know the loss of a foal-” he glances away, pain wanting him to close his eyes, but he didn’t dare for he had just resurface from memories, “-I know how- how devastating that is… But to still have a life to love, to nurture…” he trailed off uncertainly, bringing his over bright gaze back to the gathering of equines.
”Well, that’s an extraordinary treasure.” He finishes quietly, gaze casting downward.
09-21-2015, 09:53 PM (This post was last modified: 09-21-2015, 09:54 PM by Brisa.)
It had always felt satisfying to help those in need whenever possible but somehow this experience had been one of the most rewarding. Not only had both mother and daughter lived but she felt as if she had made a couple of new friends along the way (that she was sorely lacking). Watching Astra approach Tembovu she couldn't help but smile at the size difference of the pair. At this age they were so curious and open to seeing new things, too bad some seemed to lose it as they got older. That being said it would also depend on personal experiences as well with everyone being completely different. Her twins had a rough start to life making things a little more complicated with them but overall they still were curious little devils that seemed to run off at the first sight of something interesting. It might have been easier trying to chase after only one but when there was two you wished that you could split in two to ensure they didn't get too far or into too much trouble. Despite trying to avoid the parts of this she couldn't help but feel the guilt of not being there when Levex had disappeared to avoid it ever happening. It had happened sometime during the night when she had dozed off for a few minutes only to find those minutes were her fault. She should have been able to stay awake but she had failed, she had failed all three of them.
Looking up as Astra ventured away from the stallion only to fall on her butt before staring up at her with what seemed to be joyful amusement, she couldn't help but find a similar smile turning up her lips. Wickering softly she reached out with her muzzle to the young girl only to have her leap up and land in a puddle. Shaking her head she just laughed to herself wondering how it was foals could be so clumsy but at the same time do things that just should not be possible for them to do. If only she could have half the energy she would be set for life with more than she could ever use at one time. In a way they reminded her of rabbits in the way they could dart off at the blink of an eye, run around playing for hours, fall asleep and be good to go after a quick snack and a nap. Nature sure did have its ways of designing things so uniquely well with the gods surely playing a part in it all.
Flicking an ear as Whisper started speaking of her horrible experience with losing Astra's twin she couldn't help but be thrown back into her eternal pit of despair. As she spoke she felt her heartbeat increase and the terror start to spill back over her at the very memories. Inside she felt like closing up and just dying to forget the pain but she couldn't therefore it was something she had to live with tucked away from sight. Startling ever so slightly as she felt something drape across her back she snapped her eyes up to find Whisper by her side. Her words were spoken from the heart making them all so much harder to bare. She had definitely hit the nail on the head drawing moisture to her eyes as a single tear slipped from her eye. No, she would not cry, no this was a happy occasion where tears were not necessary! Fighting back the rest she somehow managed to keep it together with much difficulty as her breath caught in her throat. Not trusting herself to speak she managed a grateful nod hoping Whisper would know how much she appreciated it. The sister she never had.
Having nearly reached her breaking point already she felt like bawling when Tembovu added in about knowing what it was like to lose a child. She had been there, she had dealt with it (not really) she felt the excruciating pain that made you feel numb to the world. She had not only lost one but multiple making the pain hurt beyond repair. There is no one to turn to for help, you are all alone. You feel as if your life is over, the world has ceased to exist, you are alone as alone can possibly be. The pain does not go away, it does not fade away, it stays deep inside you as a reminder that you are broken beyond repair. Life continues to move on around you but you don't notice as you are frozen in time, lost to the pain. Feeling another tear fall from her eye she brushes it off trying to get herself back from this praying that there is enough strength to do it yet again. By this point she felt as if her heart was being yanked from her chest and her lungs collapsing from the pressure leaving her breathless. Closing her eyes for a moment to try and focus on breathing she manages one deep breath and then another helping to return blood back to her brain. All around her there is silence as they all try and cope with all their losses. Reopening her eyes which are still watery she feels that she should at least contribute something given what each of her friends had shared. "As do I." She replied after many minutes her voice soft and shaky from her internal struggle. "I don't think it ever gets easier but you get stronger, eventually. It makes it easier to move forward but you never forget."Ok now she really felt like running away, running away from the pain, the memories and herself. If only it would work, if only for a few moments, anything would help at this point.
Brisa talks
•• TAGS: Whisper, Tembovu •• NOTES: Apologies for the wait our internet has been down <3 ••
I want to swim away but don't know how Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean Let the waves up and take me down Let the hurricane set in motion
Whisper had laid beside her sleeping babe, to bond and to keep her warm as the night ebbed into a bit of a chill. Her bones ached, from her extreme ordeal earlier but in a way, it felt as if it had been a year ago. She was famished and down right on the verge of losing her mind but she couldn't help but watch the two talk above her. Her heart pulled into her chest as she watched Tembovu's face draw back into thoughts. His tense jaw and glazed pools let her know that her words had an impact on him and that somehow, at some point in time - something devastating had happened to him the same as she. A heart note was triggered and her blood seemed to warm with anger and with sadness all in one. To whom had hurt this gigantic stud that had saved her from the threshold? She couldn't imagine the pain he was pushing back - maybe when they were alone she would get more of his story. But as she thought that, a small slip of carefully articulated words poured soulfully from his parted ashen lips and Whispers heart sank in her chest, as if someone was trying to rip it out all over again.
He has stumbled over the words, saying them between pauses I know the loss of a foal... . Whisper turned her dial to look away as she felt the heat of the tears rip into her throat and then, with his next uttering - pour over her eyes I know how- how devastating that is.... She choked back the sob that was threatening to escape her maw as it trembled. She busied herself licking Astra softly as she chew over the words. What do I say to that.. how can I even... she thought to herself. This giant warrior of an elephant knew a hurt that one never got over. He was missing part of his soul and nothing she could say or do could ever stop that pain or change that. His eyes had lit up to Astra because he remembered... How painful this entire ordeal must be to him now - to see this life where he has not one. She whispered softly as she looked up at him, her eyes wet from crying silently " Temb..." she trailed off as she looked past him into the night, watching the shadows shift - heart heart jumping in her chest. "Tembovu, I... " she shook her dial and focused on him as another tear crept from her eye "I am so sorry... I cant imagine the memories..." she didn't want to say that Astra bring.. She couldn't utter another word because her attention shifted to the smaller white mare, who was almost vibrating now with emotion.
A silver tear rolled from Brisa's eye and Whisper softly stood this time, feeling like something was about to happen and unsure at what. Flicking her ear towards Tembovu she turned her dial in concern towards him and stepped towards Brisa whose face seemed to contort in discomfort. She knew this look. Whispers heart, although tired and stressed picked up once again in her chest, warmth surging in her veins. Oh no... Brisa... she thought to herself. This was the hole of loss. This black hole that was pain and anguish, the same kind that Tembovu pushed back, was swallowing Brisa and Whisper was watching her new friend getting sucked into the stabbing and somehow mind numbing pain all over again. So they were put here by fate - these souls that were so giving and so beautiful were tragic and they all shared a common ground. Excruciating loss. Whisper stepped closer and watched another tear roll down the ess's face as she spoke, distantly and soft as do I . Whispers heart sank again. Tembovu and Brisa both - they had both endured a past of turmoil and loss like none should ever go through. "Brisa..." Whisper uttered softly "Oh... Brisa". She didn't know what else to say. What could you say to a mare that was trembling with fear, pain and overwhelmed with grief. It was apparent she hadn't told many, if any at all and it was fresh and difficult to utter. Somehow the next words the white mare spoke - Whisper wasn't quite sure she believed them. Did she utter them because she had been told them once? Or was it something she tried to believe just to live on - to go day by day and endure.
No. It doesn't get easier. Whispers gut twisted in anxiety as she watched both the figures before her, fade into the shadows as she sank back towards Astra. She looked down and suddenly Astra wasn't there anymore. She was gone, rotting. She was her small, lifeless brother who had been tossed out on the ground to rot and wither away. Breathing got harder and she blinked over and over but the voice of Crow rang out in her mind You cant fly from me, whore. I'll always know your scent - I can find you and when I do... . Whisper shivered all over, feeling her body grow cold again. "no." she said to herself. "No."she shook her dial again and tried to focus on her feet but the ground seemed closer than she remembered. Catching herself before she fell to her knees, she inhaled deeply and stood still. Breathe Idiot. He isn't here. This isn't real . She shook as she looked around her taking mental notes. Large stallion. Tembovu. Good. White mare. Small. Shaking. Anxiety? Nerves. Scared. Panic attack. Herbs. Medicine. "Brisa.... You need something to help your nerves..." she said softly trying to gather herself to find an herb. She plodded off near the pond to not only find an herb, but to take a drink. What the fuck was happening to her mind?
Dark blue eyes glance up from the ground as Brisa speaks softly— though her words carry an avalanche of meaning and emotion. His ears flick to the side at her tears, for he is torn between comforting the mare and holding the shreds of himself together. Though his good nature won, in the end, (and perhaps his need for being comforted was met by comforting another), and he reached out his broad muzzle to rest it light on the grey mare’s slender shoulder.
It was a simple, soft touch. But he spoke volumes in the silent pressure. The dark loss slowly ebbed out of him, as he hoped the panicked and lost look would leave her. It was remarkable how much more manageable emotions can become when being near others who have faced similar disasters.
He had shifted closer to the grey beauty, finding and offering solace with his great bulk. His eyes shifted to Whisper as she spoke, as she apologized. Though so many had offered an apology— and over time the words become meaningless. Sorry for what? For having a love, a foal, and a life ripped away? Are they really sorry for that? Because the elephant was so much more that sorry.
But, coming from the crying, broken form of Whisper, the words strangely held weight. Most likely because she knew the true loss, and thus her ‘sorry’ was rooted in knowledge. In feeling. Though it seemed Whisper’s feelings and demons were beginning to overwhelm her as she whispered to herself. Her eyes were unseeing, panicked even, as she looked at Astra. Lost, aqua eyes look at him, look at Brisa. They are frightened, distant.
They clear marginally, as she mutters something about herbs. “Whisper—Whisper come back to the here and now. You are safe and need rest,” his low voice is surprising calming and quiet. “Lie down with the foal that you are so lucky to have.” He takes a halfstep towards her, seeking to herd her away from her herb searching and towards Astra. “Brisa and I can find the herbs if you need them that badly,” he half offers, half demands, “Just guide us in their direction.” He glances once towards Brisa, uncertain if she is a slave to her demons as Whisper is.
An glimmer of surprise echoes through him, for he usually it is a much harder feat to keep his memories at bay. But the sight and presence of Astra has made it so easy. The thought of foals of his own dash through the shadows at the back of his skull. Could he?
He shook these thoughts away, for they were for a different time. A time with Rexanna…
09-27-2015, 11:37 PM (This post was last modified: 09-27-2015, 11:38 PM by Brisa.)
It was strange how the body reacted to stress for everyone seemed to handle it in their own way. Some tended to shut down when under pressure while others seemed to thrive making the rest of them look like cowards. Shamefully her reaction had always been the typical heart racing, paralysis, inner torture along with the feeling as if you were being suffocated by the very air you breathe. Each breath seems to catch in your throat trying to deprive the body's ability to perform the major essentials of life. Panic begins to set in turning your once warm flesh into stone cold lead sheets that restrict all movement while contributing to the overall suffocation. If you manage to pull through others would call you strong when in reality you are slowly dying inside. No one can see the pain or feel how you feel leaving you drowning without any sort of lifeline to cling to. When your heart finally gives way letting the barriers collapse under all the strain it will take you with it straight to the bottom of the barrel. Nothing makes sense anymore, each relationship you had starts to breakaway and you feel hopeless to try and change it. You are too scared to move on and would rather let yourself drown then expose yourself for what you are, a coward.
As the mare's words faded into the night a deafening silence seemed to stir up the black monsters that wound tightly around her trying to pull her down to the depths of hell. Feeling her vision give way to the torrent of repressed memories there is nothing she can do to stop them as they all barrage her one by one cutting deeply into her flesh as a reminder of what had once been. A blood curtling scream erupts out of her yet the silence prevails only to reveal herself as a young filly surrounded by the dead carcasses of what had been her family. Blood stains the girls grey coat as her father falls before her never to move again, never love again, and never see his family again. It is only now that she realizes that the scream had not been from her lips but rather from those of her mother as she screams at her only daughter to run and never look back. The fear feels the same as it had been back then and her heart hurts all the same many even worse with all the additional tears that would follow throughout her lifetime.
Before another memory can surface the white mare can feel something press up against her neck immediately freezing her thoughts dead in their tracks. A new wave of panic begins to creep over her but something is different this time. This time the expected pain does not surface where the teeth should have been ripping into her neck, no this was... was warm and fuzzy. Voices fade back into range in the tones of her newest friend Whisper but much of them she cannot make out except for the ending. Nerves? No, she didn't need anything she was fine (not really but in her warped illusion of fine she was). "No.. no.." she mumbled still not completely back while shaking her head trying to manage to get out more of what she was trying to say. Blinking rapidly to clear the tears from her eyes she looks over to find no one other than Tembovu to be the one who had managed to pull her back to the here and now. No matter how small the gesture was it still meant a lot to her just to know that somebody actually chose to give a damn about her for once in her miserable life. Well she couldn't say for the first time considering how much Kaj had done for her along with the rest of her small group of friends. For as long as she lived she would love each of them and be eternally grateful for their kindness.
Taking a deep calming breath as the stag moved over towards Whisper she felt the tremors creep onto her hide as her body tried to catch up with what had just happened. Steadying herself she finally felt alright to say what she had failed to few minutes before. "I'm fine, I don't need anything. Just rest and regain your strength while taking advantage of cuddle time with your daughter. They don't stay that way forever you know." She replied gently as a small smile touched her lips. At least her voice a little stronger towards the end of that sentence so she sounded perhaps a little more convincible. Inside she could feel the anger boiling up towards herself at letting her mind get to the point it had. She should be stronger than this for it wasn't fair to burden her friends with her problems and failures. Why had she been so weak? Dammit what was happening to her?
I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up and take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
She stopped as Tembovu instructed her to lay down, to rest. It had been a long night. She felt like it had been years between events and happenings. The threshold, meeting faces and then leaving to find him only to get lost... then laboring so hard only to be helped by one of the most beautiful faces she had ever seen and such a kind soul. Fate, it must have been - had woven them together. She turned around and eyed them all apologetically as she flopped to her side, jarring her insides. Her mind couldn't handle much more. Poor Brisa... the mare was so pitiful and beautiful all in one... who could harm such a pure at heart being.
She looked up at Temb and nodded her dial as if she were checking out of life for the moment. But she felt like she was being watched, as if something were lurking deep inside the shadows, calling her name. She shivered and looked passed Tembouv into the night. Astra's arrival had sparked some kind of... need in her. The need to protect her daughter from the things that lurk inside the dark. She felt as if Tembovu was the light that was keeping the wolves away. When she got to these lands, when he left her there to recruit others - then what? What would come then? She shook her dial and placed her wing over her daughter, hiding her from even the light of the moon. Dear Astra... she could not fall victim to such horrendous things like she had, Whisper just couldn't not allow it.
Her auds flicked up as Tembovu spoke to her. Her answer was slow and drawn out with sleep and exhaustion. "The lake. Look for the dark leafs of a blue flower. Chew them, they should taste minty. If its bitter, spit! Drink some cool water behind it... it should calm.. if you find some purple flowers, ground them with your hooves and inhale deeply..." she paused and watched Temb and Bri move away. They wouldn't be gone long... surely they wouldn't leave her here along but she couldn't stay awake any longer. Her dial nodded and she slipped into sleep... her body twitching as the demons started to plague her dreams.
OCC: A nervous nelly is she.sorry its so short... so much happening at home right now
Tags: @tembovu @brisa
Tembovu listens to the deep breath Brisa takes. He is familiar with that breath. The centering breath one takes to refocus on the here and now. To expel the demons with expired carbon dioxide. If only it was that easy. But at least that breath helped a little. As did the next breath. And the next. Each breath made it more tolerable. It never got easier— it just became manageable. Bearable. But never, ever easy.
He relaxed slightly as Brisa returned to them. He relaxed even more as Whisper looked to him, seeing him and not her monsters. Her gaze clung to his own— he could almost feel the desperation within her. All he could do was return her boring stare, trying to offer silent strength and comfort to the broken mare. Some battles had to be fought within the soul.
And she beat them, for now, as she tucked into the earth and hid Astra beneath her wing. She spoke of herbs, voice slurring and halting with exhaustion. She was nearly asleep before she finished explaining where Brisa and Tembovu should go searching for them. He watches the new mother silently for a few moments, seeing the nightmares attack her as she twitched with sleep.
But he let her sleep, staying silent longer still as he let her fall deeper. Dreams were inevitable— they still plagued him at times. And he was sure they plagued the grey beauty beside him. Whisper needed sleep more than she needed to be free of nightmares, unfortunately. He takes a few steps away from the sleeping mother and child, stopping very close to Brisa.
“She needs sleep more than she needs those herbs,” he whispers, deep voice barely more than breath, “Unless you’ve a burning need to gather them?” He cocks his head slightly to the side. “I can stand watch over them, if you would like to return to your Falls. Or you can keep me company,” he offers a small, somewhat raw, smile. For, indeed, this venture to the Threshold had turned into so much more than he anticipated. “I will bring her to the Edge in the morning. You are always welcome to accompany us,” he offers off-handedly. There was no pressure in his words, for he is too mentally drained to really think of recruiting anyone else. It is a simple offer from a friend to a friend.
OOC: @brisa would you like to reply a short one here and then at the post in the edge Temb made for me? Or will you not be accompanying to the edge? :)
@Tembovu <3 yes! I agree. Wonderful thread thank you guys for making this a great start to Helovia for me!
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