what looks so sweet on the outside... does not always appeal to inner character
The chilly morning is overhung with clouds, the kind of day where the sky is a dark bruised smear on the horizon and the worn white snow is painted with black and blue shadows, nearly as injured as the sky. The white falling from the sky coated my skin, chilled my ears, danced and played before my eyes. My head swung, and the world shattered into a million colors, glowing with reds, oranges, yellows, blues, azures, violets, diamond whites, shining celestial colors that exploded everywhere, that I could taste on my tongue. The sweetness of the yellow, the fire of the reds, the cool of the turquoise and navy blues, the exotic spice of green and violet, the lovely forgiving crispness of diamonds. I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad... The thoughts were long and slow, a twisting serpent in a mind of chaos.
A squirrel pops out of the snow, ice frosting its whiskers, its huge eyes looming into my vision, taking up all space. It chitters, coat turning restlessly from red to yellow to a brilliant mix of red and white, something called pink. Its eyes to turn to delicate, hard sapphires, its tail to diamonds, it's body to rubies. It runs to me, leaps, crawling over my ears and wings, and then it is gone. Again, a squirrel appears to me, cycling through colors. Another one explodes up from beside it in a flurry of snow. Dazed, I stare at it, my onyx eyes bugging out of my head. Ink cascades down my ebony legs, a thick porous liquid that oozes and shines grotesquely.
I scream, rising up from the snow, cold white fluff exploding up from under my black hooves, my huge wings expanding to buffet the cold. Panicking, I toss my head from side to side, my hooves scrape the frozen earth beneath the wet white. I collapse, trembling into the snow, still shaking my head in desperation.
Free me from these demons.
******
walk and walk
think the thoughts
see what doesn't exist
"talk and talk those crazy mad thoughts"
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![[Image: saveliy_credits_by_horsewhisperer101-d5hv8hz.jpg]](http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/288/c/e/saveliy_credits_by_horsewhisperer101-d5hv8hz.jpg)
This morning in particular wasn’t too friendly, the clouds were collected in the sky and cast down a gloomy atmosphere into the lands of Helovia and for Saveliy particularly the Threshold. As if the woods weren’t gloomy enough without this gloomy weather. The big stallion heaved a sigh as he trudged through the muck that had been snow the night before. Well it was a good thing the temperature wasn’t cold enough to keep it frozen just yet. As if called upon the flakes started to fall ever so slowly again, melting the moment it touched his nose and so Saveliy began bobbing his nose up and down every time a snowflake would touch down. This spontaneous movement always seemed to ignite his thoughts.
I enjoyed being alone. It was a rare commodity these days and more and more horses, unicorns and so forth were approaching me these days to try and recruit me to their bands, but my loyalty was with Rudy alone. Absently I wondered where he was but my thoughts soon returned to their track. Unicorns, Pegasi and then the normal equines, rumors spread of war and hatred between the races but I remained neutral. I knew that my species in particular caused most of the problems but I was nothing like that. I hated when others would talk to me as if it were I who started the war when I had no interest in it at all. Stereotyping. Now there was something that could get me mad any time of the day…
Suddenly a blast of wind hit me full in my face and I froze in place, feeling foolish for not having noticed her sooner. No worries though, her ear splitting scream soon made her presence clear t anyone around. Instantly I was on alert, ebony eyes flicking from side to side as I searched for the reason of her distress call. My mane bobs along with my neck movement as I strain my muscles to find any danger, but none shoes itself and now my gaze slowly turns to the mare. Without warning she collapses and in a flash I came to her side, eyes filled with worry,
“Are you alright, miss?”
I softly nudged her neck just to check, but she was definitely still breathing. Thank god…
what looks so sweet on the outside... does not always appeal to inner character
When I woke, I was terrified out of my wits. Insane, paralyzing fear froze every cell in my body, pumping through my blood, playing with my damaged mind. I knew I was wrong. I knew that I was... crazy. And I knew I was dangerous, a liability. When I saw a unicorn, I imploded inside. Slowly, very cautiously, I stood. Snow drifted off my pelt, and I backed away, tail swishing, eyes wide. "P-please leave. It's very dangerous for you to be here." I whispered. I could feel an attack coming on, leaving my pulse leaping and shuddering. Terror sucked at my body, turning my legs to dead weights that wouldn't leave. Any piece of sanity fell apart.
"Open the box. Open the box. Open the box. Close the box. Close the box. It's coming to get you. It's coming to get you. Close the box."
******
walk and walk
think the thoughts
see what doesn't exist
"talk and talk those crazy mad thoughts"
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The mare before me woke with a sheer terror in her eyes and without knowing I gave a few steps back, eyes riveted on her as a small amount f fear entered my conscious. Slowly and cautiously she stood but still I was riveted in place, frozen by what was happening before me. What was she? I was so confused and it showed in my expression. She backed away from me and I stepped forward, about to speak when she spoke in a terrified voice,
"P-please leave. It's very dangerous for you to be here."
She was literally twitching with fear and I wondered what was causing her to react to harshly, and what was this danger she was referring to? I glanced about us but could see no sign of danger, neither did my ears warn me of anything.
“There’s nothing to fear, miss. There is no danger around. You can relax.”
Suddenly she spoke again but her words made little sense and I cocked my head sideways with confusion as she spoke causing my long mane to pour across my eyes,
"Open the box. Open the box. Open the box. Close the box. Close the box. It's coming to get you. It's coming to get you. Close the box."
The box? Coming to get me? How do I close a box I can’t even see?
“What do you mean, miss? There are no boxes here…”
what looks so sweet on the outside... does not always appeal to inner character
Why didn't he leave? Sanity slowly flooded my mind again, and the terror leeched out of my body, subsiding its vicious grip in the throes of my head. I gasped, like I had plunged into ice-cold water. I woke. "I'm sorry. I'm Svetlana. I... I struggle with my... head." I ruffled my wings, embarrassed. What was I supposed to say about my out burst. "I suffer from hallucinations and madness. I'm terribly sorry. I say things that make no sense," I wondered if the gods could cure my rotted, filthy head, patch it up and clean it, rub it smooth. But even if I was healed, was I Svetlana? Loving, genuine, careful, proud, but aggressive? Thrown into madness?
******
walk and walk
think the thoughts
see what doesn't exist
"talk and talk those crazy mad thoughts"
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I watched on in quiet confusion as the terror subsided from her eyes, leaving quite a pleasant mask behind, but something was wrong and my confusion was quickly turning into uncertainty. She gasped, as if she had just come up for air and my ears pricked forward at her, interested in her words that came next,
"I'm sorry. I'm Svetlana. I... I struggle with my... head."
I nodded my crown at her as a smile took hold of my velveteen lips. A friendly expression faded onto my mask and I replied in turn,
“No worries, Svetlana. By the way that’s a beautiful name. I’m Saveliy, wondering traveler bounded to no herd.””
I walked a little closer now, black eyes intent on Svetlana as she spoke once more,
"I suffer from hallucinations and madness. I'm terribly sorry. I say things that make no sense,"
“Do not fret, my dear. Would you believe me if I said I do not mind?”
"Speak"
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what looks so sweet on the outside... does not always appeal to inner character
I do not believe the stallion. I shall admit this most freely. Onyx eyes glance over him. Friendly smiles, nods. Why would a stallion actually not mind? Perhaps I fret too much. This stallion is alluring. He draws me in with one look, and I take a couple of steps forward. He smells of the wilds.
I exhale softly into his nostrils, an old customary greeting from where I once lived. Why do I feel I love him when I have only just met him? His charm? His grace? I do not even know him. How? There is longing in my heart, for a unicorn who I do not know.
******
walk and walk
think the thoughts
see what doesn't exist
"talk and talk those crazy mad thoughts"
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Svetlana didn’t look as if she believed anything I had said and so I merely stood before her, lion tail flicking idly at my sides, ebonite eyes neutral and head lowered somewhat so that I didn’t come across as arrogant. With a completely innocent demeanor she steps closer to me and for a moment I am skeptic of her intentions until she comes closer and breaths upon my nares, inhaling my scent in turn as well. I returned the gesture and found her own scent to be alluring, though I pointedly stepped back and smiled politely at her. My vocals resound in a soft but strong manner,
“Would you like to take a walk with me, Svetlana?”
I hoped she would agree. I was quite a curious creature and I suddenly had this need to know more about her. She seemed to agree and we started walking at a leisurely pace. I looked over to her and spoke again,
“So, tell me more about yourself, Svetlana?”
"Saveliy Speak"
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what looks so sweet on the outside... does not always appeal to inner character
I walk, although slightly disappointment by his obvious turnaway. Perhaps horses in Helovia avoiding such gestures. "I don't give much information willing, Saveliy, but I must admit, being in presence of a horse such as you makes me feel more comfortable." I pause, thinking of what I had to offer about myself. Not much, really. "I was born mentally unstable in the cold land, a land very far away. Where snow lies year-round. It was a strange place there, but I cannot remember much more than the hierarchy and constant war. I can recall myself as a lieutenant, one of the three second-in-commands to the King. In such a place, pegasi were valued over horses. Unicorns did not exist. I can only think that that was a waste of time, for an equine should be judged on his actions and words, not appearance. It was during sometime in my third year where they discovered the madness that takes hold of me during Birdsong, and stays year-round until the snow falls again, although its grip is lighter and lighter during summer and autumn. In such a land, mental instability is no honor, no warrior's life. I could not be even turned into stock, for fear that the madness may be placed onto the foals I would've had to birth. So they cast me out. I traveled south for many days, normally by wings, until I reached Helovia. Along the way, I tried to conquer the madness that had caused me to be thrown out in the cold, where I was valued and loved no longer. What is your story, Saveliy?"
******
walk and walk
think the thoughts
see what doesn't exist
"talk and talk those crazy mad thoughts"
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