I stepped through the portal with great skepticism chilling me to the bones. To the bones, get it? The deal seemed to good to be true, and it also seemed a tad boring. I mean, come on, what is fun without a bit of malice and chaos and a nice touch of madness? Gotta have that spooky scary flair and stir things up a bit. But everywhere I looked there were these goody-goody two shoes, and even my favorite playmates from the walking shark intermezzo at the beach. Ohoy, hello, care for dessert? No? Well damn, what a bloody shame. So I skipped the part where I waved and grinned madly (Ha, grinned, get it?), opting for a more incognito lurking at the back of the pack, a stint to the backdrop. Like a ninja - albeit a very tall, very striking and obvious ninja. Like the one in that show, ya know.
Yeah, you know who I'm talking about.
All things considered, life was probably more interesting back in the Rift. This place. It wasn't half as inventive, if you get me, all this blue sky and blue sea and green trees and all, it was dull and repetitive and once I'd seen one I'd seen them all, I felt. Not much to look like, these natives either. Dull, plain, and what was even up with that bohemian rhapsody thing going on? Where's the color, the life, the goddamn flair!?
As the plebeians and mortals chatted along, I kept my words of wisdom to myself, close to heart if you will - well I would have if I still had a heart! - and without drawing undue attention to myself I slipped away, merged with the shadows beneath the trees and took off. No, I didn't leave, not really. All things considered there were great opportunities building up here, like the recipe for a perfect storm, and who was I to miss a party? No way, nuhuh, I kept close enough to watch and listen, and all the while I looked around to see who I could have the most fun with once it all went down.
Because believe you me, nothing ever goes smoothly in the Rift. These foreign god-beings, they had noooo idea whatever the fuck they were messing with, if they thought our dearly beloved meisters were that easy to bargain with.
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