I'm gonna carry you in
In my head, in my heart, in my soul
This one has followed the stranger for a long time. Watched him, looked up, trusted because Manny trusted. He says he's friend. This one thinks about that--friend.
This one walks, hurts, feels [that unending pain that won't stop haunting me, the subtlety of a stiff ache. Not heartache but bone-ache, the sort that settles into you with more certainty than you can manage. But quietly, quietly,] everything quiet. Soft day, just sound of steps, steps, steps.
Water comes, this one looks out with stranger and dog.
"That's a long swim."
This one looks back, [furrows brow with the anxiety of not yet understanding, gets a grasp around new words for the first time, somehow created agreement with a fist in the chest and a grip around the throat.] "Yes."
"No."
A pause, this one tries to learn what the words mean. Doesn't know, can't know, just speaks: "Yes."
"Stay with me, I will teach you."
And then this one is moving, [ushered forth by two gentle tongues and guarding frames. I became infinite, in the water. Thrashing, first, then a delicate floating. Pain left me as weightlessness overcame me. No hurt without gravity, no gravity without soil, I became enraptured by the new capability that water lent me. A dragging, to be certain, characterized the motion but so did freedom. Until I was on that shore, I was free.]
This one pulls, moves, ground gets under. Stands, cold, [wet] and shaking. Above, big earth. Big dirt, big tree, big sky, big nature. This one wants [more, wants to know exactly how such a thing as religion functions. I want to know so I can believe in it all, without you teaching me, just by seeing.]
|
|