I'll be your number one with a bullet

A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it!

Zero was lucky. Somehow despite his reckless behavior he was able to avoid being hurt, ducking around and between bodies and narrowly avoiding fire, tar, and all other manner of hazards. Miraculously, he wasn't on fire. Other people seemed to be, though, and their screams and the smell of their burning flesh flooded the senses of the wayward boy, creating a new and unpleasant collection of associations within his mind. Was this what war was like? A disaster, an assault, a whole monstrosity of noise and sound and blood and screaming? If he hadn't been so afraid he might have stopped to think about his choices, but as it stood, fear was the only thing keeping the boy alive.

In total, it wasn't what he'd expected at all. He thought he'd feel triumph when he connected with the tiger's leg, but as his hooves pressed down on cracking bone and pliant flesh, all he really felt was a distant, unhappy shock. Had he killed it? For a moment his mind flashed back to a day on the beach, to a small body beneath his hooves, to alarm and dismay and a lack of understanding accompanied by regret. Zero jumped off the crumpled paw, suddenly aghast, terrified for his life. He didn't even know why they were fighting. The hippocampus hadn't felt so different beneath him, really, but then Mesec had been there to tell him it was ok, and now there wasn't anyone, there was just... just...

"Need a sidekick?"

And just like that a shadow appeared, aerial reinforcement, a friendly smile grin on his friendly lips. Zero had never ever been so happy to see someone; he grinned back shakily, some of the clouds easing out of sunbeam eyes, though lines and shades of it remained in the way his feathers ruffled, his ears twirled. But Mesec made him feel brave, reminded him of why he'd run into the fight in the first place, gave the son of fire and lightning borrowed courage with which to fight. Zero was about to call back to his friend, say something brave and bold and exciting and rallying, and then a lot of things happened at once.

First (though he wasn't really sure it was first- it was just the first thing he noticed out of a lot of things happening right then), a fireball fell to the earth in front of him. Or he thought it was a fireball, until it unfurled into its full form, and Zero recognized Gaucho, his maybe-Da, pulled into full height with great wings unfurled. Awe bubbled up in the boy's throat, and something else, like hope? Had Gaucho come to help as Mesec had, to provide backup for his brave maybe-son? Did he- did he finally see Zero as more than just a disappointment? But no. Of course not. The boy's happiness turned to rage as he realized the truth- Gaucho was just there to make sure he ran away, so that he wouldn't have to deal with Ma's rage afterwards.

Gaucho didn't believe in him. He never would.

Or - another, worse thought - maybe Ma had sent Gaucho to get him! Did Ma not believe in him, either? The boy wanted to cry, his tumultuous emotions sending Squishy reeling, spewing electricity in all directions.

Zero might have run away then, had it not been for Thing That Happened Number Two. Bewildered by the appearance of maybe-Da, the boy swung his head back toward Mesec, looking for some reassurance. Instead what he saw was tar, black and steaming and spread across his friend's shoulder like a disease. It made the boy balk, made him fiercely aware of the metal which marred his own barren side, and a terrible thought crossed his mind: would it take away Mesec's wing? Would Mesec, his friend Mesec, find himself broken as a result of this? And all for trying to save him?! Again Zero felt himself choke, his bright eyes widening as he backed away in horror, unable to draw his gaze from that wretched swathe of black. Had he caused this?

"I'm gonna kill it"

And so we see how Thing One and Thing Two led to the inevitability of Thing Three, aka Best Friends Making Poor Decisions. Because now Zero felt the earth moving beneath his hooves, rising as if raised by the force of his desire to prove himself, to kill the Tiger, to avenge his friend, to punish his own stupidity, to make Gaucho respect him, to be Zero the Badass, Zero the Hero, Zero the Rescuer of Friends, instead of just Zero the Weak. The ground raised and the boy followed, blindly pushed by his own overwhelming set of feelings, his anger and fear and insecurity and confusion. He knew what he would do.

Up through fire and smoke and shock he ran, ran to the top of his tower until he was high enough to fly, which is sort of what he did. Sort of. Like a comet of electric blue the boy leaped down from his spire, hurling his tiny body at the massive tiger's back. Black-blue wing splayed open in some attempt to catch his fall, but the boy was going down, his hooves aimed at the monster's spine, the sudden realization of his stupidity ripping a scream from his ears that he only barely recognized as being his own. He was going to die, but at least he'd die a hero.

Right?