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[PRIVATE] tough love
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10-31-2015, 05:26 PM
10-31-2015, 06:27 PM
VITANI When we look up at the stars, we see only the memory of light; and though they are distant we know they still shine "Did any physical harm come to you after we took over the Falls?" The mare asked, her tone just as demanding as it had been before. But I wasn't backing down. I was tried for of it all. "No. And so long as you remain a member of the Hidden Falls no harm will come to you from any member here." "It may not of come to me, because I was a child. But what of those who defended thier home? Czarina Ghost, Elsa, My parents? They were hurt. For all I know my Dad is dead too because of all of you." There, I had said it. My worst fear. That I was alone. That I had no family left now. Sarabi whines softly, nudging my leg gently. I here. Always here. I took a moment to look down at her. "And as for my companion ... he knows better than to disrespect any member of this herd because I taught him better." My head snaps back up to her and i'm speaking before I even have time to think. "You're also how much older than I am and have had how much longer with your companion? Exactly. She's learning." I was about to walk away from them all. I could find Brisa and Ezital later on, fully explain.... But.... "Walk with me." Shit. No avoiding this. I look to the pair, then to the retreating form of one of the Champions. "See you around, if she doesn't kick me out and ban me from the land." Yeah, I didn't have high hopes of still having a home after this walk. "If we didn't give a shit about you," Great, talking about walking not my favorite thing to do. "Then you would be homeless, wouldn't you? If none of us gave a shit about you then we would have kicked you out when we took over. But you're still living here, you're still being taken care of, and it seems to me like you're taking it for granted." I snort and Sarabi sighs. "Yeah, i'm so well taken care of that the only time I speak to anyone is if I almost wander into them. No one comes looking. Probably wouldn't even know i'm gone... Not that I matter to anyone." Matter to me. "I know what its like to lose a parent." Okay... Wasn't expecting that. "I buried my mother not long before the invasion. I also know what its like to lose a child." So? I'm not only enough to have kids? I look at Sarabi... Okay so maybe I would know. If I lost her... Well I think i'd be done. "Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to make yourself feel better and it isn't going to bring your mother back." Um.. Damn. "Who says I feel sorry for myself?" The whine from my bonded said otherwise. I glared at her. "What I don't." I returned my attention to the Champion as she kept going. "The best thing you can do is find someone else to fill the void they left behind or find something to keep you busy so you don't feel that pain all the time." I look out and away. Fill the void... Who the hell, could fill my parents place? "No one could fill their void. Ever." I couldn't look at her, the crimson woman. As it was, I was hiding the tears that had begun to roll down my cheeks. "Besides, who would willingly put up with me, or keep me busy just cause?" Yeah. I don't feel like i'm wanted here. The place I was born and I feel like i'm out of place. "Talk" Sarabi Talks
10-31-2015, 08:14 PM
Icon by Tay
11-02-2015, 06:14 AM
VITANI When we look up at the stars, we see only the memory of light; and though they are distant we know they still shine "Oh, give me a break." Why should I? Why should I give you a break? Your one of them. Yes i'm angry. Them invading ruined everything. "Do you think it was my decision to invade? Do you think it was a decision that came easy or just spur of the moment? Do you think neither of your parents ever took part in an invasion that hurt someone else?" I stared at her for a moment before finally speaking. "Why not just ask? I'm sure the Czar and Czarina would of worked something out with your old herd... Why make the choice to invade?" I stopped for a moment before going on. "I don't know... If they ever invaded anyone. I wasn't given the chance to find out." My angry and resolve to argue was crumbling the longer we walked and talked. "Age and time is little more than an excuse." I snorted. She could criticize all she wanted, it wouldn't change anything. "I was young when I had Eytan, but I still taught him respect from the day I bonded with him." "You think I haven't tried? The only reason she didn't do more was because I was stopping her. You know, the mental connection and all." I shot a glare at the pup, who was walking calmly beside us now. She looked away for a moment. Sorry I cause trouble. My look softened slightly. I knew she was only trying to help me. And damn it, she had heard me say bye. Oh well. My head snaps back around to the Champion... Or well, one of the two we seemed to have now. "Why do I care? Because I was born here! I probably know the land better than any of you ever will! This was my home, the one place I felt safe... Till you all showed up..." I lost it. I couldn't stop the tears now. I jerked my head away to hide them. No, she wasn't allowed to see them. So instead I listened to her go on about how busy they had all been. Yeah, busy settling into a land that they forcefully took over.. "Have you even bothered trying to talk to anyone?" Is she serious? "Or have you just sat by judging us for not taking notice while we were busy working?" My head jerked around to stare at her. "I've talked. But not like i'm going to just gush everything i'm feeling to just someone random." I snapped at her. "At least, I don't normally." When it came to me feeling sorry for myself, she just wouldn't let that go. "The way you act and the way you complain about everything says that you feel sorry for yourself." I snorted, not even going to try to convince her that I don't. We both fell silent as the conversation turned to parents. I had faced facts. They were both gone. Momma, had been murdered before my eyes. The image still haunted me at night sometimes. But no one seemed to hear the screams in the night other than Sarabi. Either that or they did and ignored them. When I asked why anyone would take time to deal with me... Well her answer was simple. "Do you think I'm walking and talking with you for my health?" My reply to her was just as simple. "No I think you only noticed me because I fianlly lost my temper and Sarabi growled at you." "Talk" Sarabi Talks
11-02-2015, 05:40 PM
Icon by Tay
VITANI When we look up at the stars, we see only the memory of light; and though they are distant we know they still shine "Its political." I snorted in frustration. Why wouldn't they? "Do you really think a leader from another herd would ask to join a herd when he can invade and keep his position?" I turned to stare at her. Was the leads really that.... prideful? That they couldn't ask to join another herd and give up ruling if they weren't happy where they were? "Your Czar helped invade these lands many seasons ago." If it could of, my jaw would of hit the ground... Czar Midas... The kind man that had appeared at my birth and several other times through out my life... Was no better than those who had attacked us? Has he allowed this? Had he allowed them to come.... No. Her voice was strong in my mind. He died. Stolen and died. She was right of course. That had come out later. But the fact still remained, that he had once helped take away someone's home. The conversation tumbled on, and into why I didn't want to leave. "Is that so?" She stopped and looked at me. I turned and looked her in the face too. "I was the Chieftess of this land before you were even born. Your Czar helped me invade this place when he was still nothing more than a warrior in the Dragon's Throat. So don't spout that bullshit at me." OH hell no. I knew the lands were changed. I may be young but I wasn't stupid. I had learned many stories from my Momma before she died. One in particular I would never forget. "If you were a Chieftess, then that was before Father Earth changed the lands. They aren't the same as when you ruled." I wanted growl and lash out. How dare she act as if she was better than one who was born here. Just cause she ruled here once upon a time. I tried to ignore the new information about my Czar. But I couldn't. "You said it was your home. If you don't like us here and if you don't feel safe then leave." Is she deaf? "No one is making you stay." I decide to ignore that comment too. Obviously she misunderstood me and I wasn't in the mood to keep explaining myself to someone who was as thick as a tree. She began to talk and so did I. Who does she think she is? She's no Czar and Czarina. Obviously she didn't hack it as a lead cause she's not a lead now. She's only the Champion because no one from the old herd stayed. No one but me... They left.. They left me.... You doing what she said. Pity. I snorted. I didn't pity myself. What was there to pity? I'm an orphan, big deal. I didn't need my parents. I wasn't even wanted.. An accident. But I knew they loved me. Them... The ones who took over. Pft as if. I'm just another body to watch after. "This is the first time I've met you." She pauses. "You wanted to be noticed and you were." I didn't say a word. Why should I? Nothing mattered. I am just a brat to her and always will be. That's all I'll ever be to anyone in this herd. But I won't pity myself. I'll just float along and remain in the background. "Talk" Sarabi Talks
11-19-2015, 09:40 PM
Icon by Tay
VITANI When we look up at the stars, we see only the memory of light; and though they are distant we know they still shine "How do you how much the land was changed if you weren't born?" Ugh she has an answer for everything doesn't she? Before I can speak she goes on. "Oh, that's right. You don't. Pity." I wanted to roll my eyes but I didn't. "I've walked these borders every night since we won this land. I've traveled over these fields, though these cliffs, around waterfalls, all over. I know this land just as well as the land I ruled and you can't tell me otherwise because you don't know." Fine, she wants to think I don't know anything, let her. Maybe now I understand why everyone left. Why so few stuck around for the take over. Cause these newcomers.... They were know it alls! So instead I decided to remain quiet and just listen. If she said something that I knew was wrong, i'll just let her stay wrong. Someone else can show the know it all up. "You will begin patrols next season." Wait what?! "I'm not old enough to be a warrior." I snorted. I was in limbo. To old to be clinging to anyone's side, and to young to take my own place in the herd. What did she think she was playing at? Besides, who says I wanted to be one of her warriors anyway. I sorry I got us in trouble. Sarabi speaks in my mind. I glance at the pup. I know she was just trying to protect me.... Next time, only growl at them if they actually try to attack me... Okay?" Ohtay "Its getting late." The Champion's voice cut into our mental conversation. "Close to the waterfalls. I can walk there myself." Without another word I set off in the direction of our sleeping spot. Last thing I needed was the mare coming to wake me up whenever she wanted. Bad enough I was probably going to be going on patrols with her Warriors now. "Talk" Sarabi Talks @Ktulu | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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