WE ARE THE BEAUTIFUL MISTAKE
"Yes, you understand certain things, Miss Evangeline." she begins, as respectfully as she is able despite the fire raging in her belly. "But what you don't understand are the events that have occurred and that is precisely what I was referring to with my prior statement. Nobody asked me what happened or how or why; instead you both jump to conclusions and react with anger." Despite the unnecessarily terse response from the orange mare, Naerys holds onto her stoic image. Not once did Naerys ever believe herself to be more experienced than anyone else here. She'd never held such illusions of grandeur. Never. But she couldn't help but to feel that Evangeline had crossed a line, just as Rift had.
As far as Naerys was concerned, nobody in this gathering is completely innocent - not even herself.
When Rift turned to speak to Petyr, the girl couldn't help but to smile. Mentally, she nudges the young bird and before Rift can turn to leave, Petyr shifts to pluck a feather from Naerys' left wing. Gripping the brown feather in one talon, he turns his head to pluck a feather from his own wing. Tucking the two feathers neatly together, the bird flies quickly to the sorrel stallion. Landing upon his withers, Petyr attempts to tie the feathers neatly into the man's russet mane before flying back to Naerys' rump. After that brief moment, however, everything that happened between Rift and Evangeline doesn't register with Naerys, only Petyr, because the girl can only manage to stand and stare in shock at her mother.
Naerys had made her move, had gone forward as they'd all wanted her to but her attempt to touch her mother is blatantly denied as the mare backs away from her. The action is a deliberate slap across her face, a jab of a blade into her tender chest. The girl is so shocked she can't even bring herself to hide the pain, instead it is written in every crease on her face, blatantly clear in her softening teal eyes. The raging fire within her calms momentarily, quelled by her mother's cold behavior. They remain locked like that for what seems like ages before the mare finally speaks, her body shaking from the just barely contained rage. Her initial statement is brief and followed by a lengthy silence but then she steps back again. Another jab, another slap. Inside she can feel herself crumbling, losing herself under the weight of her mother's disapproval. Her anxiety amps up, increasing the volume and intensity of the 'she's disowning you' thoughts. She isn't good enough. She'll never be good enough.
Her mother frowns at her and when she speaks again, her accusations beat against her hide - snapping fiercely against her skin but cutting deep enough to wound her soul. But then the anger is back, the white hot heat flaring with an intensity she's never known before. "I was wrong to leave without telling you, mother, but I did try to make it home. The pain gets so bad some times that I can barely see. It can get so bad that it makes my ears bleed. I became disoriented, found myself stumbling through the forest when I heard voices so I went to them but I held back until I saw Brisa." Naerys watches her mother intently, especially when she mentions the gray mare. Her teal eyes burn darkly with her own fire and she matches her mother's intensity. "And Petyr was scared, just as I was. He wouldn't have left me even if I'd begged him to." she adds, more firmly than she intended but at this point the emotions are burning too hot, too intense.
"He likely felt just as attacked as I felt and still feel. I'm not condoning his actions, mother, but he didn't stand a chance against the two of you. You had your preconceived notions of who he is and no matter what either of us said, he was stuck in your little box." she added with a soft sigh, trying so hard to keep herself from losing what little control she had left to shout and scold them right back. She snorts in disbelief at her mother's words about Eva. "Oh? She cares about me, does she? Considering she's never spoken to me before now, I find that difficult to believe. She cares about you, and if she does care for me it's only because I am your daughter. I felt like she crossed a line, mother. This is between you and me. Leave everyone else out of it."
But then her mother is talking again, her voice a heated whisper that was somehow more anxiety inducing than it would have been had she raised her voice enough to yell. And just like that she is forbidden, barred from seeing the stallion that could have been her friend. How many friends would her mother rip away from her? Who was next? Mauja? Or would she just convince the crafters to make chains and then tie her to a tree? Her wounded heart constricts in her chest, squeezing painfully. Her eyes and attention firmly glued to the mare. Once more her eyes grow hot, filling her eyelids with the salty moisture of tears but before they spill, she clenches her jaw and grits her teeth in a final ditch effort to hold them back. "Fine." the girl almost growls through her tightly clenched teeth. She swallows hard as the tears begin to fall. "May I go now?" she mutters and though the question itself is meant to be rhetorical, she waits for her mother's response before slipping into misty trees of the Edge. She could deal with this damned headache on her own, it was far preferable than sticking around for more of her mother's lashings.
SO I DON'T CARE IF IT KILLS ME TONIGHT |
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