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12-01-2015, 09:10 PM
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rhoa I WALK IN THE AIR, BETWEEN THE RAIN, THROUGH MYSELF & BACK AGAIN. To where? I don't know Where have I been? Ambling around. I've been here or there, and everywhere in between. I've wandered, roamed, and scoured the earth. I've been searching for meaning, purpose, if you want to know. Have I found it, you'll ask. Well, no. I haven't. But in that, I have found some peace. I have come to terms with a few things. Mother and Ivezho are gone. They have left, onto better things perhaps, or perhaps they have simply grown tired of the life that Helovia affords. I don't blame or fault them for that. I have grown poetic in my wantings of them - like they are some dream that I aspire to remember and record, but not one that I long to touch any longer. They are gone, and I realize that now. I will carry their burden with me always, but my shoulders have grown strong enough to endure the weight of their memory. "Jiji?" I mumble the word - her name - to myself, as she spans across my vision, like a daydream. She is all black and gold and youthful beauty against the roughness of the sea. It coalesces and dances around her body, and my mouth waters with jealousy. How lovely it must be for the sea to have so many final goodbyes? How many wade into its depths and sing their hearts to its vastness? How amazing to be so privileged. "Jiji!" I call again, louder and this time to her, rather than for my own benefit. I suddenly want her to know that I am here, for I cannot bear my own loneliness in her presence. She rouses in me a rarely roused happiness. Her beauty boasts of happier times, and scolds me for being sad in her presence. Willingly, I move towards her. |
