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02-18-2016, 01:54 AM
it was said that the blood of the stars
flowed in her veins
For a moment, a fleeting, amorphous moment, I felt nothing. I acted on instinct, on desperation. I felt no relief when my horns met his side, only a vague awareness regarding how lackluster my hooves looked covered in mud and the sudden absence of ruinous slipping between us.
I looked only at the ground, at my muddied, frosted hooves, a hazy cloud of my breath momentarily obscuring their image in my eyes. I wasn't sure what to feel, or rather, what I was supposed to feel. My bloodlust wasn't satisfied, but sedated. This cognizance was foreign to me; it took the entirety of that brief, obfuscated moment for me to identify that anomalous perception as hollow. I felt hollow.
Even the very deadness of my emotion did not bother me.
The fact that my horns had hit made no difference, and even if they hadn't, the effect on me would have been the same. I was hollow, and no amount of someone else's blood would fill me. And so I stood, staring, letting that numbness overtake my essence. I found it easier to feel nothing than to feel at all, and accepted that emotionless void without question. I felt my body recoil from my attack, pressing my weight onto my hind legs. My body felt it, but my mind did not. I let my head fall lower, tucking it away from Sparky.
Hide, hide, hide, become nothing.
But the damage was done and the price left unpaid. I had played with lightning and yet to have had my sting. I wasn't anticipating it, I wasn't anticipating anything, but it's shock was far worse than anything I had expected from Sparky. I had underestimated the man, assuming my height and build was enough to best him, but it wasn't. Without word and without warning an electric storm swelled beneath my heart. It engulfed the senses I was sure I had lost, sending it's savage sting through my body. I choked, a cloud of my breath lodged in my throat. I felt helpless, I felt as if I was watching my family abandon me again.
"S - stop," I choked, feeling my knees begin to shake.
I felt as if I were being ripped apart, the hollowness I had found solace in only a moment ago ripped unceremoniously from my tender grasp. I let out a stifled cry as so many of my carefully suppressed emotions resurfaced with that burning electric wave I felt in my heart.
Anxiety.
Fuck, not again. Don't do this again, don't leave me again, please. I'll do better, I can be nicer, I can be stronger. I don't want to be left again, I can't be alone again, please. What if they leave me? What if I'm alone again? What will I do? I can't do it. Oh Gods, please.
Dejection.
But the first time they left was for a reason, wasn't it? It's because I'm nothing to my family, isn't it? That's why they left me. I'm not as good as them. I don't mean anything to them. Do I mean anything to anyone? Do I matter at all?
I felt as if I could hardly even breathe. "Stop," I mustered out the single, pained word. My knees finally gave out on me, for my body could no longer stand the electric sea. I tucked my head between my knees as I struggled to keep at least my hind legs standing. But it was of little use. I was still on the ground.
Anguish.
On the ground where you belong.
That was it, my breaking point, the moment my mind cracked, gaped in the face of all it's horrors. That was when I ripped.
"STOP IT," I screamed, throwing my head up, invoking a magic I had little experience with. I used it so often in dire situations, when I was on the ground mostly (fucking Volterra). I rarely meant to use it. It simply happened when I had taken too much of a beating for my mind to handle anymore. I felt no remorse for using it, though, and as soon as the ear splitting tone rippled through the air, I began to feel that horrible sting dull and subside. The electric wave receded, and I was left with nothing but a smoldering, hollow heart.
3/3
719/800
:: [ Magic: DarkxSpark (U) | When she screams, she emits a high frequency electric wave, causing disorientation and shaking vision and leaving a lasting headache ]
:: [ Restrictions | Effects those within a 5m radius; Effects last 30 seconds in battle and 2 posts in a normal thread ]
I looked only at the ground, at my muddied, frosted hooves, a hazy cloud of my breath momentarily obscuring their image in my eyes. I wasn't sure what to feel, or rather, what I was supposed to feel. My bloodlust wasn't satisfied, but sedated. This cognizance was foreign to me; it took the entirety of that brief, obfuscated moment for me to identify that anomalous perception as hollow. I felt hollow.
Even the very deadness of my emotion did not bother me.
The fact that my horns had hit made no difference, and even if they hadn't, the effect on me would have been the same. I was hollow, and no amount of someone else's blood would fill me. And so I stood, staring, letting that numbness overtake my essence. I found it easier to feel nothing than to feel at all, and accepted that emotionless void without question. I felt my body recoil from my attack, pressing my weight onto my hind legs. My body felt it, but my mind did not. I let my head fall lower, tucking it away from Sparky.
Hide, hide, hide, become nothing.
But the damage was done and the price left unpaid. I had played with lightning and yet to have had my sting. I wasn't anticipating it, I wasn't anticipating anything, but it's shock was far worse than anything I had expected from Sparky. I had underestimated the man, assuming my height and build was enough to best him, but it wasn't. Without word and without warning an electric storm swelled beneath my heart. It engulfed the senses I was sure I had lost, sending it's savage sting through my body. I choked, a cloud of my breath lodged in my throat. I felt helpless, I felt as if I was watching my family abandon me again.
"S - stop," I choked, feeling my knees begin to shake.
I felt as if I were being ripped apart, the hollowness I had found solace in only a moment ago ripped unceremoniously from my tender grasp. I let out a stifled cry as so many of my carefully suppressed emotions resurfaced with that burning electric wave I felt in my heart.
Anxiety.
Fuck, not again. Don't do this again, don't leave me again, please. I'll do better, I can be nicer, I can be stronger. I don't want to be left again, I can't be alone again, please. What if they leave me? What if I'm alone again? What will I do? I can't do it. Oh Gods, please.
Dejection.
But the first time they left was for a reason, wasn't it? It's because I'm nothing to my family, isn't it? That's why they left me. I'm not as good as them. I don't mean anything to them. Do I mean anything to anyone? Do I matter at all?
I felt as if I could hardly even breathe. "Stop," I mustered out the single, pained word. My knees finally gave out on me, for my body could no longer stand the electric sea. I tucked my head between my knees as I struggled to keep at least my hind legs standing. But it was of little use. I was still on the ground.
Anguish.
On the ground where you belong.
That was it, my breaking point, the moment my mind cracked, gaped in the face of all it's horrors. That was when I ripped.
"STOP IT," I screamed, throwing my head up, invoking a magic I had little experience with. I used it so often in dire situations, when I was on the ground mostly (fucking Volterra). I rarely meant to use it. It simply happened when I had taken too much of a beating for my mind to handle anymore. I felt no remorse for using it, though, and as soon as the ear splitting tone rippled through the air, I began to feel that horrible sting dull and subside. The electric wave receded, and I was left with nothing but a smoldering, hollow heart.
3/3
719/800
:: [ Magic: DarkxSpark (U) | When she screams, she emits a high frequency electric wave, causing disorientation and shaking vision and leaving a lasting headache ]
:: [ Restrictions | Effects those within a 5m radius; Effects last 30 seconds in battle and 2 posts in a normal thread ]
She walks in starlight in another world.
She is far away. She...she is far, far away from me.
She is far away. She...she is far, far away from me.
