ashamin

&lochan

Watching her did not give him the satisfaction he expected. Seeing her in such pain, a sort of fuzzy apparition behind the cloud of his own breath in the cold, was not what he wanted. Ashamin had wanted to hurt her, maybe, but he'd forgotten what that looked like. Somehow, he'd forgotten how powerful he was.

Or maybe he hadn't. Maybe the haruspex truly was a cruel, monstrous thing. Maybe his persona as a kind and friendly seer was a mere construct, built up for the sake of his herd mates. Perhaps it was all an act, a ruse, some part played so convincingly that he'd fooled even himself.

Whatever the case, Ashamin knew that the moment his magic took hold of her heart, the moment she started to beg and the moment that her tone conveyed such hurt, he regretted his actions. His own heart pounded but slowly, as if bogged down by the obvious weight of his mistake. His black eyes were wide as they focused, first on the mare and then on his companion, who had moved to stand before him, as he desperately hoped his bonded could help.

They relied on each other. At the end of the day Ashamin could not survive without Lochan, and Lochan could not survive without the haruspex. That did not exclude their bond from tests, however. Cruelty like this, resting deep in Ashamin's heart, was one such test.

Stop! The cerndyr shouted in his mind. The voice of the creature still seemed so new and strange to Ashamin. The haruspex turned back to the mare, trying to peel back the fingers of his magic that so tightly gripped his heart, but found it strangely hard. Luckily for him, the mare had magic that was strong enough to help him give in.

Her final word was a scream so loud that it felt to the haruspex as if his skull was being torn apart from the inside. The hurt of it rattled in his brain and he lost all sense of reason. Desperately he threw down his injured leg to steady himself, forgetting the torn stifle that had pinched it into a folded, defensive position. A new pain ran up his leg like a lashing, tingling along his spine and reverberating with the massive headache. When he tried to look at the mare, to see the source of her magic, he saw only a blurred and tangled mess, a triplicate of her image in scattered pieces that were impossible to put together. Her scream blended with his own; knowing nothing else but pain, the haruspex howled into the cold day with abandon.

The image of the pair was likely horrendous. Ashamin could barely see himself or his enemy, and the effects of whatever her strange magic was caused him to blur the image of himself and his companion with the mare. Suddenly her wings seemed to be floating and shifting, moving from figure to figure. When he looked down at his hooves he saw a memory of Lochan's eyes instead, staring up at him from the mud when in actuality they blinked in pain themselves. Even the cerndyr was affected by the magic, having not moved far enough away from the scene to escape it.

With his vision still shaking, Ashamin hastily tried to work through the hurt. Whatever hold he'd had on the mare with his magic was lost, but even through this disorientation he knew better than to try and move or aim with her image so constantly shifting and his leg in such intense pain. As much of a shot in the dark as using his magic again would be, as against his intention as it was, he had to try. He couldn't think clearly enough to stop this entirely, to tell her it was ok, that he was sorry, that this was a mistake, that he didn't want to hurt her anymore.

All that the seer could do was lash out in turn, and throw his magic blindly in what he hoped was her direction. If he succeeded then lady luck would be on his side; if he succeeded, then perhaps her heart would slow so that it would force her to not only lose her energy but calm her fearful attack and stop her from screaming again.

Ashamin didn't know if it was really her scream that was causing all this; under all the pressure of the pain radiating in his leg, skull, and bond, Ashamin didn't know very much at all. He knew though that he wanted the mare to be quiet and still. Whatever this war was, it needed to be over.

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