Johnny

Alright, I’ll admit it - we got to that dark, dreary cave and the first thing that went through my mind (okay second: right after a quick flash of ‘sexy time?!’) was ‘this is how I’m going to die’. Tangere brought me here and the rest of the Basin was surely lurking because they had finally had enough of me parading around my sweet bod and they wanted more than a taste. They were going to devour me!

But I follow Tangere anyway because hey, she’s nice and there’s probably only a 40% chance that she’s leading me to my doom. And if she is? Well, a small part of me is okay with it. I’m sure there are worse deaths.

And, quite frankly, I’m a little curious. Would it hurt?

Such dark thoughts! You’d think I was Jacob, he was always the brooding brother. He’s much better at it than I am. I blame the freaky pathway. We’re probably choking on centuries of old smoke and sweat and Deimos knows what else, you know?

Eventually (good gum drops it feels like we’ve been walking forever) we make it back to the fresh air and I’m relieved, all thoughts of being eaten alive evaporate and are left in the darkness.

We were back in the sunshine but it was cooler here and I was thrilled about that - I stood beside Tangere and follow her gaze out across and I started prancing on the spot when I saw what she did. Fresh snow! “How marvellous! Aren’t you a marvel, my dear!” And then she took off!

Oh, so we’re running now, are we?

I’m not particularly fond of strenuous activities - I get all sweaty and that causes me to get sticky which is not as fun as anyone makes it seem. But I’m also not a poor sport so I build myself up to a gallop to chase after her. It doesn’t take long for her to pull ahead of me but I don’t mind! I even shout out when she looked back: “Don’t worry! I’ll get there eventually.” I’ll be huffing and puffing when I do but I’ll make it. Plus, it’s a beautiful view of her from back here and I know she’ll stop eventually.

And as I’m galloping the funniest thing happens - the air around me stays cool. Like, I know we’re in a frozen land okay it’s already cold but my sweat is staying cool and the air around me is maintained at a delightful temperature. Magic? I don’t know whether it’s coming from me or the area around me but I’m okay with it either way!

I'm your sweet sugar Candyman