"I fucked here once."

Ampere's voice cut across the quiet conversation; simple and casual, not seeming to imply anything other than truth. She stood in the doorway of the place, looking in with an implacable expression, something distant. Maybe it was the memory of that moment playing again behind her eyes, or the unfamiliarity of the place that time had since displaced, as it was ought to do. In truth Ampere was just staring at the multicolored hues as they played on the ground, cast from the stained glass and the forest light that filtered through the tree branches. They were beautiful - wasn't that what she had told Bucephalus?

The hint of his name upon her conscious drifted like the fabric eaves of this structure. It reminded her of the way his mane fell against his neck, billowing like the curtains. She could still hear laugh as their game of chase carried on, and the entanglement it had ended as. He had been brushing dust off the sides, like so (Ampere leaned her muzzle against one of the stony walls), the love of his job obvious. She had teased him then.

She missed him.

Where did he go? Why hadn't she bothered searching, or even caring? His bird... his damn bird had set a divide between them, and then something else too, another part of him she didn't remember until it was there, loud and cruel. Had that pushed her away from him, or had he just never been more than this room and that moment?

After all, he wasn't the only stallion with another side and a bird. Mesec her heart complained, and she slouched against the wall with a sigh. Those same things had divided them too, but the difference was she was willing to cross it. She was also sure she'd look for him if he was gone, would chase him, corner him if needed. So what was the difference? Was he just more?

But why, she couldn't help but wonder. It was a pointless question though, an attempt at reasoning with emotions that were too carefree to pay any mind. It was the same way with Gaucho after all these years, ever since the oasis.
He didn't had a bird too, and a snake, another divide to watch and try to cross. At least he had only the one side, but she had to admit, she didn't know it very well. Had she and Gaucho ever just talked? It always seemed to devolve into screaming or fucking, or both, and if she bothered to count all the times, they were probably all her fault.

Oh, it might have been easy once, might never have become this. At least, she likes to think so, because that gives her some sort of anger to hold onto and wield like a knife against her heart. She thinks that if they, either of them, any of them, had simply not bonded that she wouldn't be caught between their greater qualities trying to ignore the awful ones (the soul-bound ones). Because once, back then when they had nothing but their own soul, she had loved herself enough to love them. Now?

Now her soul was just as crowded as theirs, and it seemed to have pushed all the love she had for herself out. When you don't even love yourself, it's awfully hard to love someone else.

It was these thoughts that drove her here. It seemed as if some sort of decision regarding the matter was imminent, especially after the incident. That was just it though, could she decide, did she have to? The frustration and confusion of it all made her feel reckless and rebellious, if only because that was easier than dealing with it. She was terrified of throwing down roots, but felt no better when cast adrift. Couldn't she just stay somewhere in between, dancing between land and sky?

They were like night and day, both necessary to turn the world - both needed for her world. The dawn and the dusk were perfect...

[#cantstopwontstop]