He had considered leaving when she had gone to the Throat - even if Gwaihir would have told her right away. It didn’t feel right, putting all of his hope onto her shoulders. They had just begun a tentative friendship and here he was asking so much of her. But she was thinking clearly when he no longer could and he trusted Megaera and that was what had made him stay - watching the interaction between the two bird companions as a means of distracting himself from the growing turmoil in his mind. He couldn’t help but think of the herd - how their Sultana was calling them together. He pretended that he could see them from where he stood, a gathering of friends and strangers, and he wondered what they were talking about. Had she gathered them to warn them about him? The creature that he wished he didn’t become was certainly a threat.

She had told him he’d go home, but he couldn’t see how. He was trying so hard to be hopeful, to believe that there was a way out of this, but it was so hard to entertain such a positive thought.

So when she actually returned, when they set off towards the Veins and he became aware of the depth of Megaera’s sincerity in helping him. She spoke to him with nothing but kindness whenever they did speak - offering reassuring smiles when they didn’t - and it actually helped. The weight of Mesec’s gratitude towards her could not be measured or described in words. The time and effort she was taking to help him meant the world. Mesec had believed he needed solitude to learn how to master the warg, needed to avoid the presence of others unless it was triggered, but the magic remained dormant as he kept pace with the Sultana - allowing himself to be lulled into a temporary peace.

Sometime he would finally learn that he was not stronger on his own but part of a group - with his friends and family around him. He did not need to be alone.

He came to stand beside Megaera in front of the shrines, Lucius following Gwaihir’s movements and coming to land upon Mesec’s folded wings.

He needed to believe that they could help him.

“Mother.” His voice cracked over the whispered word, the only prayer he could manage to add to Megaera’s, but he trusted she would appear even if he had not spoken. Surely she would know that he had come, why he had come. As the patron of his home, he was happy that Megaera called on the Sun as well and would welcome his counsel in this matter. But this monster in him had to be something of the shadows and with her help, with his mother’s help, he might be able to learn how to control it.

we'll go over the mountains and under the stars