Sohalia

the Transcended

Whatever joy the ivory mare felt at the appearance of her daughter was muffled by the girl's tearful greeting.  Aelin ran to her, accepting Sohalia's embrace; the Transcended was aghast at the realization that her daughter was trembling against her, filled with guilt by the unadulterated need that defined every syllable of the girl's greeting.  The mare tucked her head around the young pegasus, wrapping her neck around Aelin's to pull her closer.  "My darling," she whispered, fighting to quell her own tears before the girl could see them.  Her fears, her hurts, her problems -- all of them fell away when presented with Aelin's pain.  If nothing else, the dove could be strong for her.

"I'm sorry, ma shekhikhi," she murmured, grief making her tone deeper and rougher than normal.  "I didn't leave you on purpose."  What else was there to say?  The Transcended had no explanation, after all, only lost memories and educated guesses.  How was she to explain to the girl that she suspected that a Rift had whisked her out of space and time, depositing her many moons later in a land that she no longer recognized?  How could she offer apologies for disappearing, for allowing Aelin's father to find a new love, to create new life, to begin a new family that the filly may not have been a part of?  (No, that wasn't right, Gaucho would never abandon some of his children in favor of others; his mate was the only one who had been forgotten.)

The request for a story surprised and delighted the Transcended in equal measure.  It felt like eons since she had been able to entrance her children with tall tales of times past, and she welcomed the distraction from the tearful reunion that threatened to overtake her.  Her stomach twisted as she realized that Aelin had grown up, had matured, had found ways to protect herself from the disappointment that her mother and siblings had brought her.  I will not desert you again, she promised in silence, smiling at the filly through her guilt.  I will not be a source of your pain.

"A story," the Transcended mused aloud, releasing her hold on Aelin and cocking her head to one side thoughtfully.  Astraeus perched on her hindquarters, chirping his own greeting to the girl before falling silent, preening his electric feathers.  What kind of a story could she tell Aelin?  What good was there to admit about her relationships, her motherhood -- it was all failures, again and again.  - Best be honest, - Astraeus advised; the Transcended agreed wholeheartedly.  She would not make up a story to appease the girl, not when it would not have been true.

"A very long time ago, before I met your father, I was courted by a stallion named Note," she began, hoping that she would not turn her daughter against her.  "It was not true love, but he was kind, and for a time I thought that I would be happy.  One day, Note disappeared, and I was all alone.  You never met your half-siblings; Diniel did not survive birthing, and Skysong passed away before you were born.  But I cared for them alone and filled my days with motherhood and crafting."  As though to illustrate, the ivory mare pulled at her magic, shaping it around a pretty stone on the ground.  Should Aelin want it, it would make a pretty pendant.

Sohalia wondered if it would bother the girl, that her parents had not always been together.  She paused, allowing for questions, and then continued:  "One day, I was flying over the oasis, and I thought it would be fun to see how fast I could fly.  The easiest way to gain speed in the air is to fall, and so I tucked my wings and dove toward the water.  I flared my wings to soften my landing and splashed into the oasis; when I turned around, Gaucho was standing at the edge of the water.  And so our relationship began.

"It was not always easy.  Zenobia was our firstborn.  She is... wayward, at times, but she has Gaucho's fire.  Shortly after her birth, a darkness consumed Helovia, driving its inhabitants underground - have you ever heard of the Heart Caves?  We survived there for months on end.  While we were there, Note reappeared, intending, I think, to renew his courtship of me.  Of course, your father had long since claimed my heart," she added with a smile.  "Gaucho challenged Note in the caves.  It was a bit silly, really - Gaucho fighting for my affections, as though they had ever been in question - but in the end, Note backed down and left.  I haven't seen him since.

"We emerged from the Caves none the worse for wear, and I was elected alongside Ampere to lead the Throat.  Gaucho had disappeared after the darkness passed; when he returned, he could not remember anything that had transpired for a time.  Still, he did eventually remember me, and it was later that year that Rhoa and Ivezho were born.  Gaucho and I ruled the Throat as Sultan and Sultana for a time, but I was captured by a band of mercenaries from my homeland.  They had hoped to secure their position as rulers their by forcing me to rule alongside them.  I escaped and came home, where Gaucho and I were reunited, though I no longer claimed a title.

"I came back to Helovia in time to board the giant ship and avoid the Earth God's flood; I spent my time with Gaucho and the rest of our family.  The waters receded and we returned to the Throat, where I happily stayed for many seasons, finally giving birth to you and Hawke.  It was perhaps the happiest time of my life, for I was surrounded by my family, who I loved with all of my heart.  It was after your births that I approached Gaucho about helping the herd.  I hoped to contribute as I had not been able to in some time, and he gladly allowed me to join the ranks of warriors (can you imagine?).  I am, unfortunately, rather unsuited to the task.  In retrospect, it is comical, though at the time, I was a bit of an embarrassment, I'm afraid.

"One day, I left to go on patrol, stupidly thinking that I could handle it on my own.  I cannot explain what happened, or where I went - but it was not until this past Orangemoon that I appeared in Helovia again, feeling as though no time at all had passed.  I did not return to the Dragon's Throat immediately - I didn't want to cause any of you undue pain, and I thought that perhaps if the wounds I had inflicted had healed, I would do better to avoid reopening them.  I see now that I was wrong.  And so here I am.

"You see, me shekhikhi?  I have disappeared before, I know, but I always return to those I love."

"Talking."
-Astraeus.-

@Aelin