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The Transcended had never been particularly spirited, preferring instead to rely on a calming demeanor and diplomacy to work through whatever situation she found herself in. There were times, of course, that she had wished that she could be more - what's the word - fiesty, more like Megaera: when she had been captured by enemies of her homeland, when she had been incapable of defending her children, when she had been incapable of offering even the slightest assistance to her herd in times of need. Now, however, was not one of those times. She smiled slightly, almost sheepishly, at the mare before her, pondering the nature of the Sunspear's questions and striving, as always, to understand. She found that she did understand. In fact, she understood all too well where the mare's suspicions came from. If she placed herself in Megaera's hooves, she saw a pretty ivory mare who was only around long enough to woo the Sultan, bear his children, and then disappear for months at a time. She saw a mare who should have no claim to the sands on which they stood, yet was welcomed back time and again. The ivory mare knew that she had no right to be here, despite how much she wanted to be; she knew that all the love in the world for the Dragon's Throat was not enough to win over its inhabitants. She could not hold Megaera's words against her, not when she had done nothing to win the Sultana's favor. (After all, she only held Gaucho's because, after everything, he still somehow managed to love her.) Astraeus crooned a soft warning, saving his bonded from an immediate response. A rush of bay fire fell onto the sands, warming Sohalia's heart and bringing a brilliant smile to her face. It would seem that, despite everything, she still loved him, too. And it showed in the softening of her eyes, the beaming smile that she offered, the way that she leaned ever-so-slightly towards the stallion, as though longing to claim her place beneath his wing and simply hide from the rest of the world. Despite this, she did not move. She would not return to the Dragon's Throat to be sheltered by her lover (mate?). No, if she was to return, it would be of her on accord, and by her own devices. She would not allow herself to be overshadowed. She would prove herself. She had to. The WildFire practically growled at the Sunspear, bringing a frown to Sohalia's pretty features. That he leapt to her defense spoke volumes, but she had no desire for enmity to be sown between his ruling partner and the mother of his children (some of them, anyway). "Gaucho --" she called softly, a gentle command disguised as a request for his attention. He welcomed her warmly, and again she smiled that lovely, adoring grin. "I'm glad to be here, shekh ma shieraki anni," she told him, then added: "Don't be angry with Megaera. It has been... a long time since I have been a part of the Dragon's Throat. She has every right to wonder why I have come back. Wouldn't you want to know, if it were anyone other than me?" Satisfied, the Transcended returned her attention to the Sunspear. "I have made mistakes," she admitted, "and I am not proud of the fact that I have been gone more often than I have been here. My place is - was - here, with my mate," her gaze flitted to Gaucho. What would his reaction be to her calling him her mate? Would he even allow it? "With my children, with my herd. I should have been here, and you are right to cast suspicion upon me for my absence." She bowed her head, gracefully hiding the shame in her eyes. "I wish I had explanations, I wish I had a good reason -- I do not know what happened to me that caused me to disappear this time, nor would I want to rely on excuses if I did. What I do know is that I did not come back sooner because I thought... I thought that it would be easier. I thought that Gaucho would be able to move on, be happy, without... without me. I thought that the herd would be better off without me. I wasn't what the Dragon's Throat needed, and I could not have contributed to its glory. I am here now because..." Why was she here? To claim her place within the sands? To again try to offer herself to a herd that likely didn't even want her? "I am here now because the Dragon's Throat has been my home for years. I am here because I want to be with my family. I am here because I want to give anything I have left to offer to those sheltered within." She paused, took a breath, lifted her head to look Megaera in the eye. "I will respect the wishes of those who live here. If you do not want me here, then I will not force myself on you. I would understand, I truly would. But I do ask that you consider allowing me one last chance to prove that I can contribute. I would take a place amongst the herd's crafters, as I did many years ago, if you both will have me." The mare swallowed hard and fell silent, her bi-colored eyes flicking between the Sultan and the Sultana, nerves suddenly clenching in her stomach. She had spoken out when Gaucho would have spoken for her - would he admire that, or would he disapprove? She had offered Megaera the chance to cast her - and her unborn child - into the harsh world beyond the borders of the Dragon's Throat. The Transcended doubted that the Sunspear would have spoken against Gaucho; by allowing Megaera the opportunity, she may have doomed the foal to a life without a herd. She had gambled, there was no doubt about that - but if she was allowed entry into the Throat, if she was given the chance to rebuild whatever it was that she and Gaucho had begun (again), then it would all be worth it. "Talk talk talk." |
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@Megaera
