the Rift


Learning how to play [Open Spar]

Isopia the Mountain That Knows Posts: 780
Dragon's Throat Apostle atk: 6.5 | def: 10 | dam: 8.0
Mare :: Tribrid :: 18hh :: 3 - is now aging slowly HP: 90 | Buff: NUMB
Hubris :: Royal Bronze Dragon :: Shock Breath & Frost Breath & Babel :: Royal Gold Dragon :: Fire Breath Odd
#5

It had never occurred to Isopia that her water attacks might actually choke someone. She'd thrown water many times before (ice water most often), and it had almost always clogged eyes and airways, and yet, she'd never thought about it. Watching Seanan first appear to be winded, and then appear to cough up the last remnants of her attack made her pause.

But then there waslaughter on his lips, and her confusion doubled. Her only thought in that moment was that he must be a masochist (or possibly crazy), for it never occurred to her that this was just all part of the playing they were engaged in. Isopia cast a confused glance towards Hubris, who only shook his head in disbelief. PLAY the dragon trilled with fake annoyance in her mind.

The demigoddess's golden gaze revolved back to the pale stallion as he moved towards her again. This time, thoughts of Volterra did not cross her mind. No, Volterra never laughed like that (had she ever heard him laugh at all?). Seanan's laughter made it easier to see him for what he was, and although Isopia moved to evade his attack, it was no longer out of some traumatized fear. She was actually trying to play.

Isopia's long legs were still battered from where she had tripped over them moments ago, and so despite their normal agility, Seanan was too quick. She felt the softness of his nose brush against her flank, pressing with an uncomfortable weight between her ribs. The pressure didn't necessarily hurt, but her body did blare out warning signals that such things should be avoided. Had that been a unicorn horn rather than his nose, she would have been in trouble. 

'Playfully', (for Isopia anyways), the Mountain thrust her left wing downwards, hoping to hit some receding part of the pale stallion with it as the two passed each other. Her tail lifted rather prettily (though the aesthetical appeal of this never even occurred to her), and her quad-horned skull rose with something close to excitement. She then spun as quickly as she could on her long limbs to try and trail after him. Isopia was larger than Seanan was, and would have thought that the length of her legs would have made her faster than him, since hers covered more ground. But where Isopia's strides allowed her to flow across the field, Seanan's allowed him to fly.

The demigoddess didn't think she'd be able to catch him, despite the fertile ground beneath her, so instead she tried to slow him down. Another magic-dragon appeared, though this time it was composed of earth. Isopia tried to make it appear just in front of Seanan's swift strides, hoping that he'd be forced to balk and go around. Then again, even if he crashed through, surely that would slow him down as well?

Isopia moved to her right (wanted to keep her bruised shoulder far away from him, for it still throbbed painfully), hoping that if he reacted to her magic the way she thought he might, that she could overtake him on his right side. She didn't plan anything more than nudging her body next to his, and throwing her weight against his shoulder if she got close enough. She had seen foals push each other and shove, surely that was playing. Right?

In the air, Hubris whistled his approval. The dragon could feel thoughts of Volterra receding from her mind, and though he was the only one currently aware of it, it did both their souls a world of good.

Play, he chuckled to himself. Knew it would work.

But Isopia didn't hear the dragon's words, for she too was now laughing.




WC: 617
Attack: 2/3

Same magic!

:: [ Magic: EarthxWater (U) | Can create shapes out of the earth or water ]
:: [ Restrictions | Can only create 2 large shapes (large horse size or smaller) or 5 smaller shapes (dog size or smaller); lasts one post in battle. ]



TEACHING NOTES.

The soft ground grabs at his hooves, not the way soft sand does and yet without the friction of the hard flat lands he's used to. WHAT A GOOD DESCRIPTION!!!!

Another really good post. I think you handled Iso's water magic well. It's sort of a weird attack when it rolls high (she rolled a 4 against you), because you're like HGNLSDN;LKSJDF;LAKSJD WEHAT? IT'S WATER? Having him wondering if he's drowning and mentioning it got into his throat and nose and whatnot was really good. You could have elaborated a bit. There wasn't really any mention of pain anywhere. You said he had the wind knocked out of himself, but didn't say if he tried to take a big breath to compensate. You mentioned it got into his nose - and I don't know if that's ever happened to you, but it hurts. When judges look at spars, usually they look to see if the damage has been appropriately taken, and if you reacted appropriately to it. Since you only used 469/800 words, there was still space to elaborate. Other than that, great!

There was maybe one typo and a few grammatical things. It wasn't huge, and it didn't hinder my reading of your post, but there's an entire section for grammar in the judging rubric, and so it's worth mentioning. But I know you know how to write, and everyone misses things sometimes :)

I think the only thing missing for me, was more of his reaction to Isopia. I know you can't God Mode and know about her inner flailings, but I might have expected to have Seanan's inner dialogue be more like "What is her problem. Why isn't she playing back?" Like, Iso probably doesn't look like she's having fun, and I feel like Seanan might wonder about that? Or be like "Hey! Who throws water at someone's face?!" Half-jokingly. That's probably the only thing right now I'd encourage you to work on. You're mentioning the environment and breeds really well, there was no PP in this post, and everything was easy to read. The only thing I want to see more of is Seanan's personality!

But honestly, since this is your first time, you're doing a really incredible job. I flailed around so hard during my first like .. 10 spars. Your writing is informative and easy to read, I think you're doing a good job so far of responding to attacks and attacking back. So please don't feel like the comments I'm giving you take away from that! You've already hit most of the basics, so really the things I'm saying are just small fixes. :)



Isopia
Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.
Image Credits


Messages In This Thread
Learning how to play [Open Spar] - by Isopia - 05-12-2016, 01:12 PM
RE: Learning how to play [Open Spar] - by Seanan - 05-12-2016, 02:46 PM
RE: Learning how to play [Open Spar] - by Isopia - 05-12-2016, 04:51 PM
RE: Learning how to play [Open Spar] - by Seanan - 05-12-2016, 07:10 PM
RE: Learning how to play [Open Spar] - by Isopia - 05-14-2016, 09:55 AM
RE: Learning how to play [Open Spar] - by Seanan - 05-14-2016, 12:03 PM
RE: Learning how to play [Open Spar] - by Isopia - 05-15-2016, 11:14 AM
RE: Learning how to play [Open Spar] - by Seanan - 05-19-2016, 01:52 PM
RE: Learning how to play [Open Spar] - by Time - 05-26-2016, 08:05 PM

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