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SHE bore all her story, finally, for him to see. Calstron's eyes betray nothing while she speaks of his abuse (Lies, of course) but his eyes show the deepest pain when she speaks of the aftermath. She had not been so deeply evil as to drop the child in its grave after all. The blood knight's head feels heavy, swollen, and he has to take deep breaths to stay upright. His chest heaves with the exquisite weight of what he now knew.
The stallion's face contorts with the agony of a child departed. Its a pain like no other and its a pain that never leaves. It sets even the strongest minds adrift and makes murderers of the best of us. He'd never been the good of either of those.
Was he even this crazy when all this shit started? Sure, he enjoyed twisted shit. But he'd not had the red tide which so often overtook him these days. He'd been in control. He'd been everything that defined power. What was he now? Broken, small, weak, and insane. He was everything that defined a piece of shit. He'd wanted to kill her so badly, to shove her down the cracks as she'd done to him. A tragic, fucked up version of Romeo and Juliet. But she'd just taken that away from him. His fairytale was over and the ending wasn't happy. The carousel had stopped, the clock had struck midnight, and suddenly he'd woken up covered in puke and piss. Who was he going to blame now for the shit being he'd become? Everything, everything, it fell down around him like bricks. All that was left was air rushing in, unwanted, and cold.
Calstron wanted to run from it but his shocked, slack face betrayed him. Could he blame his psychopathic asshole of a father? His fucked up combat trainer who'd taught him the darker things in life? His mother for not protecting him? His mate for lying to him like everyone else? His stillborn foal? No. The blood knight had only himself to blame for his actions.
He should change...could he still change? These moments of clarity were always finding him only to waft away to whisper in some other poor soul's ear. How did he make them stay? The thoughts ping about in his head like painful little pinpricks. The female shuffling before him suddenly holds no meaning for him anymore. She was a memory, she was his past, and he was suddenly painfully aware of how desperately he needed to move on. He gathered his body, his face firm once more. The threatening tears and sweat wiped at as best he could. When he turned to face her his voice did not roll, it did not seduce, it was was not deep. It was short. It was matter of fact.
" Rex, I.......I hope your foals are ok." He nods to her very, very swollen belly. Could he have apologized, spoken everything he'd felt in this moment of painful clarity? No, because he couldn't say he'd feel the same the next time she saw him. Wishing them well was the best he could offer. If he knew what was in store for him with the little devils in her womb he'd probably wish them dead. But, instead, he goes on carefully "I need you to leave me alone. I need to never see you again. I am in the World's Edge now and familiar with the King..." A small lie, but one he was sure she wouldn't know. She smelled of other places than his home. Still, he manages to unknowingly dig his hole deeper. "...And I've met someone else. She is everything that didn't work with us and I cannot have you speaking about us or to her in general. I need you to be silent." The last bit leaves him in a guilty rush. Its meant to be a painful blow. Its meant to end the moment where they'd been connected, where they'd been one in their absolute pain. He had separated himself from her in a permanent, horrible manner, and that was (he thought) to be the end.
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