i am a leaf on the wind

She did not want to disappear. It is a strange realization. But for once, as she walks into the sunset with Apollo at her side, Morham is not the thing she’s dreaming of. Her thoughts aren’t miles ahead, wondering what will become of her. Her thoughts aren’t miles behind, mourning a home she can never have back. For once, her thoughts are on this moment, on the realization that this is her life now. No, it’s not the life she ever expected. No, it’s not the life she was raised to lead. But it’s a beautiful life. And it’s hers. Entirely, completely hers.

They walk along the beach in silence for a while, though it is an easy, comfortable silence. Zola lounges on Apollo’s back as they move, and everyone once in a while Apollo’s side brush against her wings. She tried not to blush at the touch, at the way it sent a thrill racing down her spine. Instead, she keeps walking, not minding the contact, and trying to make sure the disappointment when he steps away again doesn’t show on her face. It’s still a strange feeling, to want someone around like this. Really, they are still nearly strangers.

But for some reason, he feels safe. And Gods, it’s been so long since safe was a word Lyanna knew.

After a while, his deep voice cuts into the crashing waves and the whisper of the ocean wind. She flicks her ears his direction, head turning slightly to watch him as they walk. The story turns from something simply nostalgic, to something dark, the pain in his voice a bit evident. She wants to reach out, wants to offer some small comfort in the way of touch, but she’s not sure if she actually should.

Once, she knew just exactly what to do. She knew when to touch, when to laugh, when to bat an eye. She knew how to play a game, because that was her job. But Apollo isn’t a game, and she doen’t know the rules for this version of life. And she doesn’t want to overstep, but still, she wants to be herself.

He’s talking of a monster, something called a Kraken. An image of an impossibly large octopus flashes into her mind, though she has no idea if that’s really what a Kraken looks like. Still, the idea of anything large enough to pick up a horse like that is rather terrifying, and she can’t help but glance quickly to the now peaceful sea. This was such a strange world to her still. “Were you both okay?” she asks softly.

After a moment, he shakes his head, tossing his head and turning to face her more. His next words are more genuine and heartfelt than she expects, and she reaches out to press her head against his neck for a moment before pulling away, teal eyes meeting his amber ones. “It is okay to be afraid. Only the bravest horses are afraid. Fear is what makes you brave, after all. And despite what happened, here you are, at the water’s edge.”

After a moment, her name escapes his lips in a question. She looks back at him, ears pricked, her look expectant, waiting to see what comes next. Her smiles grows at his question though, because it is her favorite thing in this world. Flying. “You aren’t the first to ask,” she says, giving him a warm smile. “It is amazing. It’s a freedom I can’t quite put into words. But when I fly, I feel like the world is my oyster. I can go anywhere, see anything. I feel powerful, using just my wings to move the wind around me.” Once, she could have simply moved the wind. Once, she could have lifted him up and taught him what it felt like to fly. Once, she didn’t need her wings to fly. But now, her wings are all she has left. “It’s a joy I wish I could share. If I ever figure out a way, you’ll be the first one I tell.” She chuckles slightly, knowing it’s rather unlikely she will ever find a way to teach a wingless horse to fly. But she can’t help the joke anyway, or the playful gleam in her eyes.

watch how i soar.

lyanna