Mesec’s mind and heart had become a jumbled mess of fear and hope in this last year - everything seemed to have been going so well and then disaster had struck. And he was that disaster, it was his fault. It didn’t matter that no one had really been hurt that day, the threat was still there. He was still a danger. What if Gaucho wasn’t there next time to draw him away from the foals? What if he actually killed someone? What if? That was why he was on this quest, why he needed control, but it seemed that no matter what he couldn’t actually cut out everyone from his life, even temporarily.

How many lives had he accidentally put in danger, knowing that one stray thought could trigger him? But this was one of the worst.

Zero.

He should have turned and run as soon as he heard his name being called and he recognized the voice but instead he came stuttering to a stop and his sad silver eyes looked upon a face he had not seen in so long. This couldn’t possibly end well. But he felt rooted to the earth, more permanent than the trees that surrounded them. Lucius circled around the two in uneasy circles, fearing what could happen from this reunion.

But the apologies that wanted to come tumbling out of Mesec's mouth were caught by the next words from the lightning colt.

Ampere was missing?

“What?? I thought she went back to the Throat.” Dread seeped into him as he thought of the implications of that line of thought. “This was the last place I saw her after…” He shook his head, taking a step back away from Zero though that small action had the power to break his heart. He hated this - hated that he was a threat to one of his best friends. If Ampere was gone he wanted to be there for the colt, to provide some sort of stability. That was Gaucho’s job, though, whatever Ampere had said about Mesec being in her family.

He would have given anything to be able to move forward instead of backward, to have reassurances on the tip of his tongue that they would find her again. But even those thoughts were dangerous and they formed a hurricane in his mind, drowning out everything that good and happy and leaving only a crushing sadness in their place.

It was his fault that Ampere was missing. His fault that Zero was looking at him, pleading with him, for news of his mother instead of continuing to live happily in the Throat. There was no coincidence that she was missing, Mesec's mind immediately accepted blame for it even though he did not know that Ampere had been missing since that day. But he was quick to believe it. Of course it was his fault.

“Zero.” His voice cracked as he said the name and again he was shaking his head, wishing away the dark thoughts and the sadness that was washing over him. Lucius was starting to panic, he could feel what was happening through their bond and he flew towards Zero to encourage the colt to get away. “I'm sorry I can't…” Mesec's breathing was becoming haggard as he fought to control something that could not be controlled. “You need to go!”