If she looked back on the timeline of her life, she never would have expected to be here. Sohalia had arrived in Helovia so young, so innocent, so naive; it was a far cry from the jaded, cynical view of the world that she held now. For so long, she had been adrift, unhappy and bored ever since she had been taken from her position as Sultana of the Dragon's Throat. She had wandered not by desire, but by necessity, trying desperately to do the right thing even when the world seemed so completely against her. She had hurt everyone she loved: her herd, her mate, her children. She had failed over and over until she could no longer count the disappointed faces that pranced through her dreams. And yet... she could not bring herself to give up.

She had stayed in the Dragon's Throat for the better part of Birdsong and into Tallsun, waiting and watching and hoping that perhaps her life could return to some kind of normalcy. Time and again she had been disappointed. Gaucho had treated her with affection until she had birthed their youngest daughter, after which he had become distant. She had no illusions: they were not mates, not anymore. Yet she still could not shake the sense of possession that she allowed herself to feel over him. He had been her shekh ma shieraki anni. She had been his khaleesi. Did that mean nothing now, after all of her (and his) transgressions?

How could she had forgiven him if he was not willing to forgive her?

A heavy sigh slipped past downturned lips. It was time for her to stop wallowing in self pity. It was time to stop relying on a stallion to determine her self-worth. It was time to return to that which she loved - crafting. And for that, she knew, there was only one pegasus to see: Cera. So she wandered vaguely, searching for the familiar golden hues of the boy - though she had to remind herself that he was a child no more. Gods, he had been so very young when they had first met! He had been a student of sorts, and now she was returning to him a pupil. Ah, how times had changed! "Cera?"

"talk talk talk"

Brighter than the northern lights
Want to live to feel the daylight

She found him, as expected, in the midst of piles of metal pulled from the ground, wandering to and fro as though in the middle of a project.  The dove watched for a moment, a shadow of a smile on her lips, for she could still remember when their now-renowned Forger couldn't tell iron from tin.  The colt that she had known had grown into a handsome stallion.  She was proud to know him, proud to see that he had prospered in her absence.  When she called his name, he turned to her slowly, as though half-expecting her to be nothing but an apparition, a trick of the wind in his ears - and then the hesitancy turned to eagerness, and Sohalia's grin mimicked his smile.

Their greeting was quick and natural, an easy lapse into old habits as their noses brushed against one another, exchanging familiar scents.  "You've returned," he said, and there was nothing in his tone to suggest that he was angry with her, that he blamed her for being absent, that she had hurt him by disappearing time and again.  She might have fallen into a tearful heap at his hooves, begged his forgiveness, offered what little she could by way of explanation - but she shoved it all aside, answering with only a simple, "I have."  Only the profound sadness that lingered in her eyes betrayed her myriad emotions.

"Look how you've grown!" she half-squealed, looking him up and down, pride and affection evident in her voice.  Though they were not related by blood, Sohalia had always seen Cera as family, something that made her feel all the more guilty as she realized that she had abandoned him, too.  It wasn't just her mate and children that she had harmed - it was her friends, her adopted family, her herd.  They would never know how truly sorry she was.

"I... well, Cera, I was actually hoping you could help me," she answered his query, skipping over the "how are you" in favor of something a little safer.  She was a mess, if she was being truthful - she missed her mate, she missed her children, and she had no idea how to bring them all back together.  She didn't now how to make up for all the time she had lost with them, and it was killing her on the inside.  She forced a smile, something that came much more easily in his presence than in anyone else's at the moment.  "I... I need a job.  I need to help the herd somehow, and crafting is all I really know."  She looked up at him (since when had he grown so tall?).  "So, what do you say, Cera?" she teased.  "Do you have room for an apprentice?"

"talk talk talk"

Brighter than the northern lights
Want to live to feel the daylight

There was something particularly comforting about greeting an old friend. Cera had never asked for anything of her other than knowledge - at first, she was a mentor, a gentle, guiding light for a boy who she didn't know needed it. Later, after he had grown, they had become friends. It was odd, that Sohalia had never thought of Cera as such (after all, she had never really gotten around to thinking of him as an adult), but here they were. And she was more pleased to see him than she could ever have put into words.

Her words coaxed a short laugh from the boy (man), and pulled a gleeful grin to her own face, particularly when he joked back. A mock-horrified expression appeared on her face as she exclaimed, "Why, I would never!" The mare winked then, a small, relaxed smile returning to her lips. That Cera remained a child at heart was not a surprise to her; had she returned to find him a stoic, hardened warrior - now that would have been unexpected, to say the least.

The stallion allowed the Transcended her privacy, and for that, she was grateful. One day, perhaps, she would open up to him, talk to him of her problems and insecurities. For now, it was enough to simply be accepted again, no questions asked. It was more than anyone else in the herd had given her. It was more than she deserved.

The name Ranjiri was unfamiliar to her, though that was hardly surprising given her unwilling tendency towards absence. Still, she was overjoyed to learn that a Forger position was open and even more so to hear that Cera was willing to take her on as an apprentice. The knowledge that their Diviner, another mare that Sohalia had yet to meet (so many new faces, so many new names), was a crafter as well brought a delighted smile to the dove's face. She would have to make time to seek out their wise one, to converse with her about her role and about her gifts.

"What is the status of this church?" she inquired, falling easily into her old role as crafter, hidden here among the piles of metal. "And what specifically are we going to need for this phase?"

"talk talk talk"

Brighter than the northern lights
Want to live to feel the daylight