Oh, I had considered love, mostly in a half-sleeping daze. Who would want me, after all? At least, that's what I asked myself. The dreams were never entertained for long, as I hadn't the patience for imagining that which was out of my reach - but I found myself returning to those oft-forgotten moments in which I allowed myself to lapse into fantasy. Some of them had featured me, unbroken, wholly myself, never falling into disarray, never forgetting chunks of my day. These were preferable, given the strength with which I viewed my affliction. But occasionally, I would accept myself, and in doing so, allow myself to dream up a different scenario. In it, I was accepted for who I am, not for who I longed so desperately to be. It was with this in mind that I regarded the situation unfolding before me.

I was surprised at the proximity of Thor again when he followed my sudden retreat to nudge me with a certain tenderness - or was I imagining it? - that again sent that tingling rush of warmth. I cast my gaze down, suddenly shy, unsure how to react to the feelings growing within me. Perhaps I was simply in a dream, and I would wake up, alone in the Throat again, perhaps go seek out Midas and chat or, better yet, finally make my introduction to our healer, Onni, who was to be my mentor. Despite these wild, scattered thoughts, I felt sure that this was not in my imagination, that I had not dreamed this. I felt as awake as I had ever been, and I was exhilarated.

He was speaking, and I listened, enraptured, my orbs still failing to meet his, though I did return his motion of affection by tucking my body beside his once more. "Who you are is nothing to be ashamed of -" I couldn't help a snort of amused disbelief, though I desperately wanted to believe him. "- and I want you to see just how..." Just how what? I froze, unsure and afraid that he would say I was crazy, or beyond help, or even worse, simply not continue at all. And so it was with a sigh of relief that I greeted his next words. "-amazing... you are." I couldn't help the slow smile that spread over my features. I only halfway believed him, but that was enough to leave me brimming over with a strange mix of happiness and affection and adoration that I had never felt before.

The admission to a quest to become a healer was a secondary thrill; I was still stuck on the first, and I couldn't fully appreciate the revelation. I was silent, mind reeling, but only for a moment. How cruel would it be to leave him hanging in such a way, when he had been so kind to me? But it would take strength to respond in kind, a strength that I wasn't sure I had in me. I hadn't ever felt anything like this, I hadn't had to put my thoughts into words in such a way. But I tried. "You would be the first to say as much about me," I admitted softly, forcing my orbs upwards, leaning my body slightly to better look at his face. "But if you truly mean the words that you say, well, I'd have to admit... you are of a different kind than most of the others I have met. A better kind," I added swiftly, feeling as though my words were inadequate. "I am blessed to have run across you this night."

[W/C | 602]