That Sohalia could still proffer her a smile was a kind gesture that buoyed Ampere's heart, and a testament to the pale mare's strength that Ampere had always envied. Like old veterans comparing battle scars she and Sohalia could stand around going toe to toe with heart ache, but at the end it wasn't who had the most tallies, but who could stand the tallest afterwards. Sohalia's smile was proof she was sky high.
Perhaps the Transcended wasn't a warrior like Ampere, but she was still a fighter. Her strength came with the ability to withstand and to overcome, a mental endurance that rivaled Ampere's physical one. So maybe she was the hot mom with a bangin' bod from all her gym work outs, but that was only because she wasn't comfortable enough in her own skin, unlike Sohalia who was content enough to be frumpy. It was as if Ampere was trying to sweat out her concerns, pummel her problems, or yell at them, where as Sohalia was the epitome of gracefulness, a creator amid Ampere's destruction, and a quiet voice that was often listened to more often than her pointless shouting. Sohalia's strength was not immediately visible, but it was certainly there, and long ago Ampere had it ran much deeper than her's.
Even now Sohalia's response prompted a ghost of a grin onto Ampere's lips, encouraged by the gentleness of her tone and the sincerity in her eyes.
Then it was there, out on the table already. It was ugly and out of place, like a gun glinting in the daylight amid a porcelain tea party and lacy cloth. Sohalia may not have anticipated that her question would prove to be the weapon of choice in the conversation, because how often do you even bring a gun to a tea party, but Ampere couldn't help but stare at it now that it was there. When someone asks,
how are you, when do they ever truly care for an answer? Should she pick it up and fire, disrupting the amicable setting, or cover it up with a doily and enjoy the pleasantness, even if it was a farce? If she did pick up, would it be unloaded, proof that Sohalia hadn't meant to put it there at all? It would be easier to chose if it was shitty weather outside, because whats one more gun shot amid the hundreds of aquatic bullets on a rainy day?
"Not great"
Bang.
Selfishly she pulled the trigger; gold laced ceramics shattered easily and earl grey pooled around the cracks as the life of the party drained away into oblivion.
"I think my kids hate me," she confessed, staring off into the distance, vaguely watching the child that frolicked among it.
"Some of the herd too, I'm sure." She exhaled unapologetically.
"That's what I get for leaving, I suppose."
To be honest, it'd be worse if no one was mad, because then it would mean they didn't care, it would mean Ampere's presence was meaningless, whether for good or bad. She wasn't thinking about it like that though, but admittedly she was glad for the animosity. She felt she deserved it, so experiencing it was like penance, if only because she was mad at herself.
She hated herself.
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[P] sins like skeletons are so very hard to hide [ampere]
