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ISOPIA
Realism [+3.5]
Overall very good! My first comment would just be to add a description of the severity of her injuries in your third post as that would have been good for my mental picture! Was it bleeding? Was the skin just scraped? Since he only rolled a 2, I would have liked to have more detail.


Emotion [+4]
Excellent emotion, especially regarding the reasons for the battle. For once, a spar intro did not feel awkward! Also, big kudos for really emphasizing Iso's limitations and inexperience in battle and using that as a reason for the big hit she took in your second post.


Prose [+4]
Post 1: " a sticky as tar" ---> as stick as tar
Very minor typos


Readability [+2.5]
Easy to read with great flow!

Finally tally: 14*2 +55 = 83 HP



RIKYN
Realism [+3]
I think you handled the physical/bodily realism of the battle very well, and what your character was doing was fairly clear. However, I would have definitely appreciated a more realistic approach in regards to the emotion! I did not take off on this score for that aspect! (see blow in Emotion).

In the critical hit, I, perhaps would have focused on a more detailed limitation regarding his injuries! A critical hit is supposed to be almost crippling, so I would have appreciated a sentence or two about how (maybe), he went to go in for an attack but faltered? Something that would add an edge of realism.


Emotion [+2]
While I appreciate that Rikyn is in his cheeky stage, I would have loved more genuine fear and discomfort, especially in the earlier posts. You did a great job of describing his terror internally but then that seemed to disappear entirely.

If you look at Iso's posts compared to yours, what makes Iso's emotion score that much higher is that she isn't afraid to write her character being weak in order to be realistic! I think some of us oldies get stuck in this mindset of trying to write our characters being strategically and ultimately "better", but this system is really about praising the honesty and full range of emotions in battle. Let the dice handle the severity and you write the most real response you can!

You recovered though very well in your final post! I enjoyed the detail's of Rikyn's thoughts and the explanation of his injuries!


Prose [+3.5]
Awkward sentences and repetitiveness: "Looking over in the general region of where he’s looking off at,"...
"It’s golden body swoops" ---> Its, since "It's" means "It is" and is not possessive.


Readability [+1.5]
Some awkward sentences and disjointed text makes the flow a little difficult to read. However, it was well thought out, and I appreciated the attention to detail!


Finally tally: 10*2 + 47 = 67 HP - 10 HP for leaving the fight! = 57 HP