Mesec did not move when his mother stepped forward, when she wrapped him in a hug with her large, violet wings, except to close his eyes against her words - as though that might shut them out. He didn’t know if his mother was right all the time but she was wise, she could justify what he had done, with the mixture of condescension and love that he knew to expect from her. He willed himself not to sob into her as he accepted the embrace, believing his mother wouldn’t look kindly upon her grown son doing so. So instead he pressed his muzzle against her skin lightly - breathing in her strange, otherworldly scent, and listened to her words.

He appreciated this gesture from her - attempting to comfort him with both touch and voice. As though they were just any other parent and child.

And, of course, it made sense, what she said, and though he realized that she was right it didn’t absolve him of his crime. Mesec was glad that things hadn’t been worse - that he had been able to fight the darkness enough to win before Zero had died. That was the silver lining to this. And it was true that after this, he no longer needed to fear losing control again.

But he had still done the damage, it had been his claws and his teeth that had torn into the flesh of the younger stallion. Whether or not he had control at that time didn’t seem to matter. He hated himself for his actions and hate that there was a valid reason for them.

He couldn’t bring himself to verbally confirm that he knew she was right but it was in his eyes when she pulled back to look at him - a softening of the dull sadness in those silver eyes. “Do you… can you tell me if he’ll be okay?” Still he couldn’t bring himself to speak above a whisper, the words cautious as they came out - for he was unsure about whether his mother would tell him if she knew. He needed to ask, needed to try to find out. He wouldn’t - couldn’t - go back to the Throat after everything that had happened in the last year. Megaera’s acceptance of him would not extend to cover these transgressions, whatever their reason, and Ampere would be murderous if she ever found out.

It was good to know she was safely back in Helovia, that the news she had been missing after his previous warg attack - the news that had triggered the fight with Zero - was no longer true, but his love for her had dulled over the last year when there had been so much else for him to focus on. And now any lingering tendrils would just have to fade away because a future with her was impossible.

Mesec did not know what lay ahead, what he should do next, but he knew any foundations of a family he had started to form in the Throat had slipped away forever. There would be no going back to where only endings existed.