I'm dreaming again- I'm walking on a plane of glass, thin, breakable, so- my mirror image looks back at me with a fearsome expression, lips are painted in some golden color, ochre liquid dribbling down her chin in a strangely seductive manner, her eyes... oh her eyes are black as kol, staring up at me like the living dead. This beautiful creature is me, I know, and yet nothing in the dark soul trapped behind the glass is me at all. Nothing. She is laughing at me, laughing at my fear, and although I cannot hear through the blinding silence, I know that she mocks my fear. She mocks my weakness. My chest burns, writhing under a heat that strangles any chance I have of breathing. Everything is rushing then and for some reason the floor is getting closer, coming faster and faster and faster- "NO!"

Pain, the first real feeling that reaches out to greet me. Cold, malleable pain that warps and curls into every fiber of my being, sliding angry, sharp fingers into muscles and joints and bones. Black eyelids peel back from glistening blue eyes, eyes so blue that if you did not know better, you would think were white. They see, and as if a switch had been flipped, I remembered how to feel as well. Everything was white hot, my very core so tired and exhausted, furious at being drawn back into the waking world. How is it that some mere bruising and a long walk could cause such drastic, terrible pain? I felt more drained and abused than I had on the day I received the actual beating that started this whole thing. (You know what it is) I am lying down, soft grass tickled the underside of my barrel, and while rocks jabbed my ribs the ground was blessedly comfortable at the same time (stop ignoring it). There is a woman above me, kneeling against my side, mane draped across my neck as I slowly, but surely, raise my head off the ground. (Stop ignoring me).

"Don't go to sleep on me!"

(STOP IGNORING ME)

"I need to know exactly what's going on and how you feel-"

(look at me)

"-everything to help you, and once you do that? You can sleep-"

(please don't forget about me!)

"-deal?"

"Sickle-hock." my voice is so small, drowned in emotion as fiery, blinding tears burst across dark lashes, burning dirty trails down my cheeks. "I have sickle-hock and I am diseased. I got beat up and when I tried to fight back all I did was hurt myself. I am weak and reliant on others to help, heal, and look after my safety and well-being. But now my Mother is gone, she never came back and I am nobody else's responsibility, my herd forgets I exist and I just want-" I look up at this woman, this woman whose eyes seem to ache with something I cannot name, something that strums familiarity in my heart, but I do not want to think about how we could be similar. I need them to know. "-I just want to be able to do something. I want my Mother, I want magic and a companion and I want to be able to return the favor to the bully who hurt me and then make sure no one else has to deal with the same! I want to mean something to more than just the trees and the animals that watch  me wait, always wondering what she's always off doing, why does she always leave me alone?" My voice breaks as I stare hard into the strange woman's eyes, I can smell the heat radiating away from her flesh. It reminds me of warm sun and tree bark. "Why didn't she come back?"

"Talk."


ooc - DRAMA ALERT. DRAMA ALERT. Poor baby ;_; Dream gave us permission to skip Hector, she doesn't really have the muse and says to just pp him leaving or something :3 @Sikeax (I'm so sorry to drop this on her, they can have trouble together)