*We’ll find him, Ros, don’t worry.*

The voice voice came behind me so sudden and familiar and shocking I jumped a little bit, my feet splaying out under me as a bubble was popped. “Whoa jeez--” I hissed, turning on the spot and seeing Mesec of all people, coming up so silken and silent I woulda never had a chance to see him coming even if I had expected it.

It was such a weird thing to happen; that Mesec would be here when I was worrying myself sick over Lee’s absence--two parts of my lives that were kept so cleanly apart from one another were suddenly fused by circumstance and a herd. The thought of it, the unexpectedness of it caught me so off guard, I was thrown from the manic episode I was having over Lee, thrust totally out of the desperate whirlwind of action that had swallowed me so completely just moments before. “Uh…” It left me feeling breathless and I was stuck standing stupidly in front of Mesec, staring at him blankly for a few moments, not really registering he was there.

Because of course in the absence of the bubble that had dominated my headspace and shoved everything--literally everything--to the side, it all came pouring back into place in one hot rush. Aw jeez, it was hitting me harder than I thought it would, and all at once I felt the shame rise like a gross surge through my bones, realizing fully that Chico was no here and it was my fault in the first place. Aw jeez Cheek, I said in my head, but I didn’t even dare to offer that as a full apology because I knew good ‘n hell well he needed and deserved a lot more than that from me. I fucked up big and I knew, at that moment, that I was gonna be in the dog house for a while.

...on’t freak out, okay? But I think we’re going to need a strong nose to sniff him out.

“Uh...ok,” I said, still absent and still blank, because apparently I ain’t have the processor power to handle more than one bleak, powerful feeling at once.

So I guess now was the time to feel another kind of powerful emotion. The grand feeling of Holy Shit.

The only thing that could’ve ever made focus on the task at hand again was if someone had exploded in a blast of fading feathers and rippling fur, as though they were bursting out of their own body with all kinds of sinew and muscle and raw strength that they had been hiding in the core of their form. And that’s exactly what the fuck happened.

“Holy shit,” I said, taking a step back, remembering he had told me not to freak out and doing a good job of holding everything together but still, holy shit. “Holy shit,” I said again, my eyes popping--but the creature was already bounding away, nose in the air sniffing, and my brain caught up with the sight I was seeing and confirmed that he was actually still Mesec in that big ol’ shaggy fur suit.

A strong nose...sniffing out for Lee Mauja, because of course I wasn’t the only one who’d want to find him, and again I felt that sickly wash of shame trickle over me. I made to follow after Bro’s lead--but I was interrupted (again, jeez) by someone’s twinkling light and call.

I am Tilney, A Moon Doctor. I Have come to aid your search.

I shrugged, impatient and lost for things to say. “Cool,” I spat, my whole body poised to leave this bro in the snow and run off after BeastMode! Mesec….but then I halted myself, knowing my reaction was an old habit, knowing I was used to blowing off strangers and keeping my business to my damn self. But things were different now; I was a herd member and this dude was a herd member and we were all here looking for a herd member. So by default I owed this guy a little bit more than just a cool story, bro.

“I’m...uh...Ros,” I said, floundering for a rank title and giving up on it, “Bro…Mesec was gonna sniff him out for us, so keep up.” I bolted after Mesec’s shadow.

Quit Hollerin' "Why God?", he ain't got shit to do with it.