V O L T E R R A IF IT FEELS GOOD, TASTES GOOD, IT MUST BE MINE HEROES ALWAYS GET REMEMBERED BUT YOU KNOW LEGENDS NEVER DIE They collide, and Volterra immediately locks his powerful limbs to stop himself skidding forwards in the aftermath of his attack. His chest aches a tad from the impact but he hopes it's nothing compared to what he intended to inflict upon the palomino - the palomino who is now laughing, as though the Indomitable's strike to his leg is nothing more than a fly bite. The leviathan's ears pin, irritation and the first ebbings of dangerous anger beginning to brew beneath the surface. His muscles tense and ripple as he warily watches the other male, anticipating an instant retaliation. When one isn't forthcoming, he narrows his eyes, questioning the palomino's game. It is rare that Volterra is surprised on the battlefield, but this odd-smelling creature manages it with one sentence, one request - teach me. For a moment, the Indomitable is stunned into frozen silence, his legs braced against the ice and his face twisted into an expression of comical bewilderment. He is asking for advice? During a spar? What the fuck did he answer the call for if he doesn't know how to fight?! Does he expect Volterra to hold his hand, kiss his wounds and soften his own attacks in order to educate the palomino as he would one of his own children? Before the stallion can reply, his opponent strikes like a snake. The gelding's hooves reach up, not to kick Volterra but to try and hold him as though in a lover's embrace....the behemoth hisses, recoils, causing the limbs to just miss their mark. He isn't so lucky with the bite, however, as the palomino's lips unfurl and his teeth sink into the bottom of Volterra's thick neck, immediately tearing through the flesh and barely avoiding the hard muscle below. Pain explodes through the beast's brain, along with a healthy dose of confusion and frustrated displeasure - how can the teeth have carved through his flesh so easily? Horse teeth are blunt, created to bruise, not slice. Volterra has been nipped at by predators before, and he can only liken the gelding's bite to that of a wolf; fanged, hard, agonising. Unnatural. Still baffled by the blow, the leviathan staggers backwards, his hooves skidding on the ice but just managing to snatch purchase. Blood trickles in fountains from the moderately deep cut to his neck, twin pinpricks that issue copious amounts of crimson down to the white ground below. Toulouse's attack thankfully missed any arteries, but the pain is still exquisite, although the frigid air numbs it somewhat; Volterra's ears are lost in the storm of his mane as his mind still desperately tries to compute what he's just been subjected to. "Evidently you don't need educating," he snarls, eyes flashing at the gelding's deviousness. To lull Volterra into thinking that he didn't know what he was doing, then to strike like a nightmare...so underhand! Glaring coldly at the fangs that he now knows are lurking under those lips, the leviathan launches his body forwards again. The wound to his neck, whilst sore, does not impact his movements in any way, and he intends to repay the pain tenfold. Volterra fights on the edge, living off his adrenaline and the raw power of the rage that fuels every blow. With his tactics, Toulouse has poked the sleeping bear, so to speak. The Indomitable feels the delicious thrill of anger beginning to seep through his bloodstream, hammering a heartbeat in his ears and making his pulse race like a galloping racehorse. There's an ache in his gut, not of fear, but of pure unbridled fury. He knows this feeling well. He adores it, channels it, wields it like a sword. He is the berserker, the animal, the indomitable force, the walking fortress. Without warning, the leviathan slams on his brakes again and launches sharply to his right. Ordinarily, Volterra's turns are slow and cumbersome given his great size, but he uses the slippery ice to his advantage as he swings his entire body in a circle until his hindquarters are hopefully facing Toulouse. Throwing his weight to his forelegs (careful to brace them widely against the ice to try and maintain his balance), the behemoth lifts his colossal bulk upwards and flails out his back hooves in a savage, powerful kick. He aims to slam both of his hind hooves like pistons into the gelding's chest, to try and further any damage from his previous attack to the same area and to hopefully cause the entire front of the male to seize up. ___________________ Teaching spar for @Toulouse ! 2/3 - 753 words

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Teaching notes

Spelling/grammar/prose - I couldn't see any issues here. I love how you write, your sentences are flowing and poetic and it was a joy to read!

Emotion - I love how you write Toulouse, his manipulation and slyness as well as his overall personality. There's definitely no issues on this front, and you should score highly in this section!

Attacks - I liked him using his fangs to his advantage, but the thing with him trying to wrap his forelegs around Vol's neck struck me as possibly being quite difficult to manage/unrealistic. It depends on the judge really - I personally love unique attacks like this, and some judges might agree, but others might deduct for realism. I can't really advise one way or the other as it really depends on which judge you get, but overall you described the attacks well and they were clear/concise.

You also didn't fall into the trap of overmoving, which is great! 1/2 attacks per post is plenty in my opinion, so you did well there.

Also, be careful with sentences like these:

'front hooves landing one after the other parallel to those of his opponent' and 'Leaning over the brute and clamping at his trachea; it was not an easy position to maintain'. Both haven't got mention of attempt/aimed etc, which could be construed as GM/PP. You don't want to give the judge any excuse to deduct for that, so throw in ALL the attempt words :D

Damage taken - Please feel free to slap me if you already know this, but I figured I'd go back to the very basics just to try and clear stuff up!

So, the amount of damage a character does is partly decided by their damage stat and partly decided by the dice roll for each attack post. To compare, Vol's damage stat is 8 whereas Toulouse's damage stat is 4. That basically means that Vol's attacks hurt much more, so you should take more damage from a Vol hit than I should take from a Toulouse hit of the same roll. Think of it as being hit by a normal person compared to being hit by a bodybuilder! The dice roll determines how much damage you need to take - so a 6 roll is maximum damage, 1 roll is minimum damage. You find that in the underlined part of the formula:

Character Name: Volterra
Attack Number: 1/3
Attack: 1d14 rolled for a total of: 1 + 1d2 rolled for a total of: 2 + 8
Damage: 1d6 rolled for a total of: 6 + 8

6 is the damage dice roll, 8 is Vol's damage stat. When taking damage, you need to factor in both the dice roll, and your foe's damage stat. So if Vol rolled a 3, you should take more damage than what I'd take if Toulouse rolled a 3, because Vol's attacks hurt more. The dice roll and the attacking character's damage stat are added together, so 6 + 8 = 14, which is why Toulouse took 14 points of damage.

Given this, I don't think you took enough damage given the fact Vol rolled a 6 (the highest possible damage) and given the fact he has such a high damage stat. Rolling a 6 from a character with a damage stat of 8, you really need to be taking extremely heavy injuries, perhaps even broken bones. As a basic guideline, this is what I use to determine how much damage I take:

1: Very minor bruise/cut that won't impact movement
2: Reasonably minor bruise/cut that won't impact movement
3: Quite painful bruise/cut that won't impact movement/maybe a pulled muscle
4: Moderate bruise that restricts some movement/reasonably deep cut/badly pulled muscle/sprain
5: Severe bruise that restricts movement/muscle-deep cut/maybe a very minor bone fracture/serious sprain
6: Very severe bruise that will restrict movement/severe muscle-deep cut/broken or fractured bone

I'd then tweak this depending on my opponent's damage stat (so even if Toulouse rolled a 6 in this fight, I probably wouldn't take any broken bone damage, as his damage stat is fairly low). Also notice that you need to have battle wounds affect your character throughout the fight if relevant - the judge would dock points if, for example, you fractured your hind leg then reared up to attack.

You mentioned that the chest slam hit, but only mention Toulouse being pushed backwards - realistically he'd also take some bruising to his chest from such a heavy impact, but there was none mentioned. With the strike from Vol's hoof, you say 'leaving a minimal amount of blood but a soreness in his knee especially'. This implies only a tiny wound, not one worthy of a 6 dice roll. Overall I'd say you took damage more fitting of a 2 or 3 dice roll, which isn't enough and could count against you in the final judging :c And you then had him lunge forwards, implying that his forelegs are both unharmed, whereas from a 6 hit he should have enough damage to restrict some of his movement.

Bear in mind you can also spread damage across several attacks! If I was you, for this post I'd have taken severe bruising to his chest and also had Vol's hoof gouge a deep cut into his leg/rip a tendon, impacting his movement throughout the rest of the fight. This would have been enough damage to fit the high dice roll, so definitely bear this in mind for future rolls in fights!

If you've got any questions feel free to PM/skype me or put them in your post :D

Other - You did well incorporating the ice and in mentioning their different sizes, which is great! :D Your post was really good in general, it's just the amount of damage to take that needs to be worked on. For your first spar though that's understandable!